The Scorpion's Sting
by Wandering the Arid Sea
Summary: AU. Orochimaru's 'resignation' from the Akatsuki and the resulting fallout is more intense than in canon, resulting in chance meeting between Sasori and a young Naruto in a changing world.
1. Failures

Slowly and carefully, Sasori rose out of the ground, displacing his body double and inspected the battlefield through his undamaged left eye.

No, that was not right. It was not so much a battlefield as a monument to his defeat - a field of broken puppets mocking him with their existence. Oh, there was plenty of dead flesh out there, but they had never been more than puppets themselves. Their master was still out there somewhere, very much alive. Alive and in all likelihood, laughing at him.

The Puppeteer moved through the field, inspecting the remains. All of the puppets he had deployed were significantly damaged and therefore unsalvagable; a downside to using human puppets was that their parts were not interchangeable. He would have to start from scratch.

When he came across the remains of his puppet armor, Hiruko, Sasori's control over his emotions slipped further and he frowned. Hiruko was his favorite puppet, only the Third Kazekage came second… and now it was gone, along with the rest of his Collection. The armor he worn as his skin for the last few years, destroyed. Just like that. He absentmindedly fingered the storage scroll that held his last surviving human puppet – he didn't know whether it was blessing or curse that he had not the opportunity to bring the Third Kazekage to bear. Perhaps he might have snatched victory from the jaws of defeat. Perhaps he would have been consumed. Sasori looked down at Hiruko for another minute before turning his back on it and moving on.

It would not do to dwell on what ifs. Rather he must focus on certainties.

Like the certainty that Orochimaru would pay dearly for this. Sasori make sure his death lasted _days_.

Not that he could get back back at the accursed snake anytime in the foreseeable future – it would take years to replenish his Collection alone even under ideal conditions. As much as he wanted to track down that slippery serpent and drive a stake through his heart, he realized that he stood no chance against him right now. And besides, there was a lesson here; Sasori's battle strategy held a major flaw; an over-reliance on poisons.

Not that he had considered it a weakness until now; Few survived the initial barrage of poisons he coated his weapons with and none had ever survived his full arsenal, even Hidan had been neutralized. Thus Sasori's tactics were largely unchanged from his days in Suna; he would deploy some puppets to test his opponent while arraying a larger force of puppets away from the fray to attack once he had gotten the measure of his opponent. Given his skill, Sasori could coordinate multiple attacks simultaneously and thus create interlocking killing fields where a single scratch was either lethal or at the very least debilitating with real possibility of becoming fatal within the next few minutes.

It was a strategy that had worked flawlessly.

Until now.

It was not ... inconceivable that Orochimaru had developed a significant resistance to various poisons throughout his career, but against Sasori's complete arsenal ?

Impossible.

Despite having trained and worked together for years neither of them had ever revealed their complete skill sets. Oh, they reveal some; it was necessary to work together after all. But apart from several combination attacks to overwhelm multiple jounin opponents and their own 'observations' of each other, nobody in the Akatsuki had a complete picture of each others abilities.

It had taken just over half an hour of intense fighting before Sasori had been able to initiate his endgame. Re-tasking several puppets, they began to barrage Orochimaru from several directions at once. As expected, the snake summoner retreated from the kill zone even as he released an S-rank fire jutsu that consumed not only Sasori's puppets but several of his own minions who had rushed to his aid. Due to the vast amount of chakra he was streaming across the field, his course of movement was fixed.

A sitting duck just ripe for the plucking...

... and damn if Sasori did not already have his favourite close range puppet, Akiko, in position ready for this very moment. Armed with a blade coated in No Step Poison; the most potent toxin Sasori had ever created and refined; named quite literally for killing its victim before they had taken even a single step; people died _before_ they hit to the ground.

But most importantly, a poison which Sasori had employed twice in his life. There could no resistance against _this_.

Bursting out of the ground, it was on top of Orochimaru before he could cancel the esoteric fire jutsu; the man was pitifully weak at close range.

An overpowered downward slash 'disarmed' Orochimaru of his annoying Kusanagi and caused the puppet to stumble.

Two deft steps and then another changed the awkward stumble of the intial slash into controlled corkscrew spin as the puppet diverted the blade's downward momentum into a sweeping arc that bisected the legs at his kneecaps. Coming out of its spin, the puppet drew back the rising blade, edge upwards, and stabbed the falling torso, through Orochimaru's outstretched palm, nicking the ribs and missing his heart by millimeters.

A quick pull, strike with the elbow, and the left lung was punctured even as the one armed torso was flung away to be riddled with kunai, shuriken and senbon before being skewered by three more blades wielded by two more close range puppets. The first ran its two blades through Orochimaru's stomach releasing the acid there onto the other internal organs. The second had drove its chokuto through the soft tissue of the throat and into the the brain pan.

So confident was Sasori that he actually emerged from his hidden position despite the ongoing battle between his other puppets and the Snake Sannin's minions who were unaware of his demise and their own impending doom.

Approaching Orochimaru's corpse, he relished the look of fear on Orochimaru's waxen face; the lone kunai buried to the hilt amongst the mish mash of bone and cartilage making up the broken nose not withstanding.

A pity.

Sasori did everything in his power so that his puppets could retain their 'life' looks; it was the little details like that which really plucked at the heartstrings of allies and enemies alike.

Still, nothing a little reconstructive surgery could not fix. '_Ah, there is the arm.'_ Sasori absentmindedly used a puppet to behead an approaching kunoichi. '_now where are his feet..._'

Only through his puppet vision and the enhanced reflexes of his puppet shell did Sasori avoid the Kusanagi racing at his back, which pierced and shattered Hiruko's head as it sped through the shell straight into and through Akiko before turning sideways and elongating in the air so it severed his two other close range puppets in a cleaver motion.

Sasori recovered just in time to watch the jaws of Orochimaru's corpse grossly distend. First long fingers and then whole hands which forced the distended jaws even further apart with no sign of either the jawbone or skin breaking; the snake summoner arose once more, covered in fluids and seemingly unharmed. A nasty grin on his face.

"Ku ku ku ku. How exciting to finally meet you, Sasori-san." Rasped Orochimaru smugly. "I have been just _dying_ to meet you. " His tongue darted out, snakelike, as if testing the air. "Something... smells good." Orochimaru's hands were blazing through seals.

A coffin was rising out of the ground.

Sasori had never been so shocked in his entire life. In those three seconds alone, he had lost thirty seven puppets due to his inability to command them. Their sudden 'deaths' spurred him out of his dazed state and into a furious counter offensive.

Orochimaru was immune. This should not have been possible. As a being made of flesh and blood, that accursed man should have been dead a thousand times over. Forget his unnatural resistance or immunity or whatever. Orochimaru had just resurrected himself.

Resurrected. Himself.

Whatever he was, Orochimaru clearly was no longer human.

As if to vindicate his current train of thought, the newly arisen coffin had promptly opened. Out of the darkness, a corpse appeared.

For a second, Sasori swore felt his heart-box shudder.

It was a person whom he had seen only in history books, universally hailed as the greatest master of Genjutsu to have ever lived.

The Founding Father of Hidden Mist, the First Mizukage, Akimoto Kyousuke, stepped forwards out of the darkness.

When Orochimaru planted some sort seal on the back of the corpse's head, Sasori knew that he was finished. This was no longer about winning, Sasori's very life was in danger. The best he could hope for right was to merely _survive_.

To add insult to the injury, the demonic-looking cannon fodder on the field were highly resistant to his poisons as well. It had taken several minutes (above the norm) for the poison to even begin affecting them, allowing plenty of time to make an utter nuisance of themselves. Fighting the Snake Summoner one-on-one had been challenging enough by itself, so this had all but cemented the snake-sannin's victory. If Orochimaru or the Mizukage had known that Sasori had turned _himself_ into a puppet, he would have likely died.

As it was, he had assumed that a surprise attack from his extended Kusanagi through Sasori's head had killed him when Sasori had been trapped in the Mizukage's 'Complete Hypnosis'.

What irony.

No matter, that fool would regret his sloppiness eventually, because Sasori _would_ have his revenge, even if it was the last thing he ever did.

Sasori frowned once more and took a few minutes to center his mind. A process that usually took seconds and spoke volumes of the dangerous mental state he was in. Instead of vengeace, the question was, what should he do _now_, in the short term?

What were the facts on the ground?

He was unarmored and unarmed save for the Third Kazekage and himself along with the four elemental scrolls on his back. Fearsome though he may be, Sasori could not use _himself_ in battle without risking the secret of his nature. That left him with one puppet to call on. What external resources did he have to command ?

Sasori could not return to Akatsuki or call on any of their assets. He had allowed his partner, the one that Leader had specifically instructed him to watch closely for treachery, to defect.

Worse still, he had not even an inkling of Orochimaru's plans to assassinate Itachi and harvest his eyes and had thus failed to warn the Uchiha and his partner Kisame, both of whom were recuperating from Orochimaru's attack in a Akatsuki base.

Leader was not very understanding of failure, even by Ame standards, which the rest of the world considered unduly harsh and Konoha publicly decried as barbaric; he was a hard man. Appearing before him with news of his defeat in the midst of Orochimaru's betrayal in this vulnerable state was a big no-no.

If he went back, there would be a firestorm of criticism; he was the Spymaster. How could he have been played so utterly? Such a concerted betrayal took resources and people. Either Sasori was inept or...

..or he had a hand in what happened. Sasori cursed out loud. Forget control and focus or that someone might hear him. Sasori bellowed in rage towards the heavens, scaring some nearby birds which had descended to feed on the rotting corpses.

That damned snake had infiltrated his network. _His _network, that he had over two decades crafting was now compromised. Doubtlessly the others would soon arrive at this conclusion as well. No matter what he said or did, the rest of them would always harbour doubts. Itachi, Kisame or one of the others could be 'slow' to arrive at his aid during a crucial juncture in battle or some mission. A Suna Kill Team might suddenly _stumble_ across one of his safe houses just as he settled in to rest. And that was provided Leader did not torture Sasori to make him give up his spy-network before executing him for his failures.

Before he could even contemplate returning, Sasori needed to rearm and find some avenue to appease Leader for his _fantastic error_. Until then, it would be best if the Akatsuki dossiers listed him as killed in action. That meant he needed to cover his tracks and he had the perfect idea on how to begin.

Returning to his body double, Sasori took off the fake Akatsuki ring and replaced it with his own. Technically the ring was supposed to be impossible to remove; the Akatsuki were not an open club, but as Sasori did not have any flesh for mysterious jutsu by which the Ring was sealed to bind; he could remove it as he pleased. As far as he knew, not even Leader knew of this, so the setup should appear convincing.

Apart from himself and Zetsu, the others were kill and smash types, not investigators. Just to be safe though, he doused the double with a stream of potent acid before using the A-rank precusor to Orochimaru's earlier jutsu to mimic the burn patterns. There, that should convince whoever came looking that he was indeed dead.

Before leaving, he took a few other corpses from the field and sealed them away in a spare corpse storage scroll. If he was going to face Orochimaru again, he needed to understand what gave them their demonic appearances and the nature of their strange abilities which appeared akin to a bloodline limit of some sort.

Now all he needed was a place to lie low and resupply. His appearance should not be much of a problem; his blade wings could be sealed away in storage seals on his back and moderately heavy clothing could hide the other signs of his nature.

Sasori felt extremely vulnerable without his puppet armor but walking around in one would be far to distinctive if he wanted to remain inconspicuous. Normally his best bet for safety would have been his spy network (which had allowed him to remain a thousand steps ahead of the Suna Secret Police for years), but this was now fraught with perils as without his armor or puppets to call on a single instance of treachery could have him ended and who knew how many cells Orochimaru had managed to infect ? Of course, Leader would surely try to salvage his spy network for his own purposes as damage control for this disaster. He would have to thread carefully lest he alert either party to his presence.

Funds were not that much of a deal; he kept a large amount of various currencies and jewelry sealed away on his person which could be converted into local currency anywhere. Ostensibly this was to maintain his network through various bribes and payoffs; that Sasori maintained most of his network through mind control and brainwashing meant he could retain most of this money for himself.

Now that he had taken some action, Sasori felt more calm and collected. Now for the resources...

He was in the land of Fire so Konoha would be the nearest Hidden Village and a fairly cosmopolitan one at that, so his mannerisms and activities would not look out of place; it was the most civilian-friendly village of the Five, so he probably wouldn't be scrutinized too closely. It's governance was riddled with convoluted bureaucracies thanks to the Sandaime's policies, which was always a boon when you where trying to hide shady activities through paperwork; and as a bonus those same bureaucracies and policies had elevated Konoha to not only being the largest Major Village but also one of the richest with its booming trade that in turn ensured that he would have access to a wide range of raw materials and supplies which would not be ordinarily available otherwise. The local forests meant that there would be an ample supply of high quality wood for the construction once he got the necessary permits.

Yes, he would have no trouble getting all the perquisite material to rearm without raising too many eyebrows.

Besides, there were only a handful of his operatives in Konoha - it was after all, Jiraiya's home village, it would not be prudent to have too many pieces in motion lest his hand be detected - which also meant he could deal with them quickly if Orochimaru had managed to infect the cell and pin the blame on Jiraiya. If they turned out to be loyal, well, a bit of extra brainwashing would ensure they remained that way.

Yes. Konoha it is.

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The room was filled with piles of neatly stacked scrolls. All waiting for the Amekage's attention as the constant scratching of his pen while it danced across one missive or another filled the silence. Pein sensed the door to his office open as his chuunin guards escorted his agents in before leaving them and engaging the security seals. Rolling up the scroll, he bound it and dropped it one of the assorted tubes next to his desk which would shuttle it to the appropriate department.

Opening the next on his list, he quickly scanned its contents and began to compose his reply. "Report" he bid curtly without once looking up or ceasing the motion of his pen.

Zetsu took out a scroll and unfurled it before the desk and proceeded to unseal it's contents. The charred husk of a corpse and a pale hand covered in eldritch seals which ended at the severed wrist. Pein's own ring resonanted in the presence of it's Brother and Sister rings. Holding up another scroll, the White Zetsu said "We got all the toys!"

Pein stared impassively. No one actually knew what Sasori looked like beneath the armor puppet that he always wore, so it _could_ be a trick of some sort. But he doubted it; the Puppeteer was dangerously attached to what should have been his tools and would have never willingly trashed his entire _toy_ collection, no matter the goal.

"And Orochimaru?" asked Pein.

"I lost him along the Fire – Grass borders. When he realized I was following him he delibrately tripped a number of security measures which drew the attention of several border patrol teams from Konoha and Kusa respectively. There was a small skirmish and in the confusion he cut off his hand to prevent me tracking him further." The Black Zetsu answered.

The pen finally ceased it's monotonous scratching as Pein stood and looked out the window to give himself time to order his turbulent thoughts.

It had always been a possibility, of course, but he had counted on his member's reluctance to maim themselves. Orochimaru was the last person he's considered capable of it. After all, several hand-seals were now impossible to the Snake-Sannin, and thus a whole range of techniques as well. It was well known that mastering every jutsu in the world was Orochimaru's obsession. If he went this far, it meant…

…it meant that Orochimaru had found a way to render the injury irrelevant.

"Damage?" asked Pein forcefully.

"Orochimaru took a large corpus of research notes with him when he left," said Kakuzu, speaking for the first time since his arrival, "as well as several important researchers. Many projects will have to start over from scratch. Additionally, my people have reported _irregularities_ at several network clearinghouses, we will know more once we complete the investigations."

Fortunately, Pein had already taken precautions against this happening. Having reservations against Orochimaru since day one, he had established parallel teams for all crucial projects. But that did not make up for losing some of his researchers or account for having to vet every team that the traitorous snake had come into contact with. Despite Orochimaru's calls to 'streamline' their finances, he had kept the Akatsuki account in several seperate locations. No, there was a more serious issue a hand…

"What about Sasori's spy network?"

The Zetsu's and Kakuzu looked at each other. Well, the Zetsu's looked at each other before coming to some inner accord and laying the blame squarely where it belonged; at Kakuzu's feet. The fact that Kakuzu himself hesitated for a moment told Pein immediately the situation was bad.

"It will be . . . difficult to assume control of Sasori's network without his guidance. Whatever means Sasori used to establish and maintain his network were lost along with him. Merely identifying the agents in question is proving to be a difficult and time-consuming process. Additionally, those agents I have contacted are almost without fail loyal to Sasori, not the Akatsuki. Significant efforts will have to be expended into making them accept us as their new employers. I will salvage what I can, but our Intelligence capabilities will be severely restricted for the foreseeable future."

Pein could not help but frown. This was a significant set-back. There was very few spymasters of Sasori's caliber that were not aligned with one of the Major Villages or Courts; none of the Powers that Be desired any form of competition and thus anything that even remotely resembled a threat was either exterminated or 'intergrated' to existing networks. Those spymasters who were still free lance charged exorbitant fees for their services. Somehow, Sasori had been able to maintain a spy network as extensive as that of a major ninja village (all the while without alerting them to his presence), for a quarter of the cost – a feat that not even Pein could replicate.

"That is all. Leave now." He said curtly.

Pein listened absentmindedly to their receding footsteps as he thought about his next course of action. This changed everything; first and foremost he would have clean house, starting with every team that Orochimaru had ever come into contact with along with all their associates. Secondly, for such a plan to come to have come together Orochimaru had to have had help which meant that he had somehow compromised Sasori's network to a degree and was even now using those agents and funds to set himself up. Worse still, without Sasori, his Village and by extension, the Akatsuki, would be flying blind and this would seriously gum up several of his long term plans and endanger his policies. Not to mention the immediate danger it posed to all ongoing operations and future missions.

Pein's hands clenched; that was not even the worse of it.

A spy network was used for more than just infomation gathering, it also served as counter-intelligence. Being a shield as much as a sword; as far as the Major Villages were concerned, Ame was still ruled by Hanzo (who had been dead for over a decade), the hiccup of civil war within Ame had been averted by Hanzo's swift action to eliminate the Akatsuki (which was now reformed and stronger than ever) and that nobody apart from another Major Village was showing undue interest in the various jinchūriki.

If they were to ever awake from their dream that Ame was divided and that Hanzo paranoid delusions still shaped policy then...

..then problems as numerous as the rain would fall swiftly.

For all their posturing, Ame was the unofficial Sixth Major Village and Hanzo for all purposes unofficial, the Amekage. News of his death and the possibility of a _stronger_ Hidden Rain, one with the backing of a _united_ Land of Rain would would rock the Shinobi world to it's core and certainly spark the Fourth Shinobi World War.

Finally having ordered his mind, Pein sat down again and took a blank scroll from a drawer of his desk. He was going to require Emergency Powers for this. Even as he set pen to paper he contacted the other Akatsuki agents through his ring and mentally sent them his commands and mission parameters while stressing that it took _top priority_. As he was transmitting his orders, he directed a tendril of thought towards his partner who was overseeing the defense of Ame's borders together with the Preta and Asura Paths.

As the Deva Path took charge of the Intelligence blackout from Ame, the Asura and Preta Paths worked with Konan to initiate the protocols that would send the Land of Rain into total lockdown.

Across the Elemental Countries, several people immediately stopped what they had been doing and stood still for a moment before each moving to their new tasks.

Within his life support pod, Nagato frowned as he considered the events so far. This was not enough to stop him, not by a long shot, but it was nonetheless aggravating to face such a hurdle. Orochimaru would have to be made an example of. Once the new spy network was up and running he would find out everything he could about Orochimaru's bases and research facilities… and God would descend from the Heavens and pass His judgment upon them.

Personally.

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"It… it is a pleasure to have you here, Sasori-sama."

Yakushi Kabuto couldn't help but stare at the red-headed teenager sitting in front of him. There was no way, absolutely no way, that the terrifying and merciless Sasori of the Red Sand, before whom Kabuto had trembled in fear as a child, could be this… _young_! It went against some basic facts about Sasori that Kabuto knew about. The teenager in front of him was _at most_ 16, and probably younger. Physically younger than Kabuto, in any case.

Oblivious to Kabuto's doubts, the boy that claimed to be Sasori did not even deign to look up from the documents he was studying.

That at least was Sasori-like.

Looking at the boy's face, Kabuto could not see so much as a _hint _of emotion, despite being exceptionally skilled at reading people. There were no unconscious ticks, frowns or lip-pursing, not once had his eyes wandered. No sweat despite the coat and heavy robes on this hot day. Even his breathing pattern remained the same since their intial meeting. The boy's face was as lifeless as… as…

Oh.

Oh, wow.

_Oh, wow_.

OH, WO -

Oh, shit.

Sasori was staring straight at him.

"Is there something wrong?" asked Sasori.

"No, no, everything is fine Sasori-sama," replied Kabuto cheerfully. "I just realized something, that is all. Is the information I gathered satisfactory?"

"It is adequate," replied Sasori, finally deigning to look Kabuto in the eyes. "Now… can I trust you Kabuto?"

Kabuto had to resist the urge to sigh. Over his long career as a spy he had developed some pet peeves about the inanities of his profession; number two was the 'Can I trust you ?' question and its variants. Either you trusted someone or you did not. Any fool would answer 'Yes' to such a question; saying 'No' would have him (or any spy for that matter) dead before they managed to make it to the men's room.

"Always, Sasori-sama," said Kabuto seriously.

"Up until recently," began Sasori, "I had been a member of a certain organization called Akatsuki. I worked in a two-man cell with a man called Orochimaru."

"Of the Leaf?" asked a wide eyed Kabuto despite having learnt this particular tibbit from Orochimaru, of all people, years ago.

"Of the Leaf," confirmed Sasori. "Originally, I ordered you to advance your medic-nin training so that you could infiltrate Orochimaru's inner circle. He is always looking for capable medic-nins willing to participate in his experiments and research. However, I longer require updates or information about Orochimaru. I intend to destroy him."

Kabuto could read between the lines – he was a spy, after all – Orochimaru had somehow humiliated Sasori badly and now the puppeteer wanted revenge. Not that Kabuto was complaining.

While he wasn't the squeamish type (one could not let anything get in the way of knowledge), his research into Orochimaru's history and the subsequent file he had pieced together based on that infomation had hinted at some very disturbing things.

Besides, if Orochimaru had somehow beaten Sasori, then obviously he was not ready to deal with a monster like Orochimaru. _Yet_. He would have tread more carefully in his dealings with him. Wait...if Sasori had been involved in a fight with the Snake Sannin, there would be a chance that Orochimaru was weakened.

Yes.

Recuperating in some hidden base, Kabuto would appear to offer his services as a loyal subordinate with healing and information on Sasori...he would be able to get close. Close enough to finally assassinate Orochimaru.

A body like that, having undergone who know how many experiments and enhancements under various kinjutsu would be a great boon to him and his research. Better yet, if he could arrange it so Orochimaru and Sasori fought again...he could gain Sasori's corpse; if the term could even still be applied to him. Now _that_ would be something. He already had a dozen different theories pointing in twice as many directions in his head about Sasori. First things first though...

"As far as everyone is concerned, I'm dead," continued Sasori obliviously while Kabuto struggled to appear attentive despite the maelstrom of thoughts in the forefront of his mind.

"And I'd like it to stay that way. I have much in the way of preparations before I can make my move, perhaps years, so I will make Konoha my temporary base of operations till then. You, on the other hand, will have a task of your own to accomplish."

It appeared that Sasori was significantly weakened. Kabuto decided to stick with the original plan and assassinate Orochimaru by himself before moving on Sasori at some later date if it truly took that much time for Sasori to recuperate. Yes, things were more time sensitive with Orochimaru. Soon, he would have both their corpses on his table. It was becoming increasingly difficult not to smile at his good fortune.

Sasori took out a scroll and placed it on the desk in front of Kabuto.

"This scroll contains two corpses of Orochimaru's underlings," said Sasori. "They seemed to have abilities reminiscent of a bloodline limit. I want you to use your medical knowledge and tell me everything you can about them. Do not fail me, Kabuto."

"I won't, Sasori-sama. I won't." Having worked with Orochimaru for years, Kabuto was familiar with the Cursed Seal; he had helped create it. Yes, an autopsy and some scribbled notes on the nature of the Cursed Seal along with a few juicy morsels hinting at its function would ensure his cover and keep Sasori preoccupied for a while; it would even provide him with a good cover story that would divert Orochimaru's attention while Kabuto healed him. Then while his focus was elsewhere...

All things considered, it would delay him two or three days but for appearances sake it was better if he remained here in Konoha. All he needed now was to shuffle a little paperwork in the Missions Department and...

"Very good, Kabuto" came Sasori's voice from _behind_ him.

Before he could so much as twitch,a wave of pain exploded at the base of his skull and knocked the wind out of him. Amid the haze of pain, Kabuto felt his numb body stagger. Despite the unexpectedness, Kabuto had conditioned himself for pain. He managed to palm a kunai with a short fuse explosive tag as he fell and prepared switch with a earth clone he had made before arriving. Focusing, Kabuto felt his chakra rise...

...and slip through his grasp like air. A rising sense of alarm was quickly gripping his mind. His breathing was becoming erratic and his whole body felt like it was burning up even as he felt the chill cut into his flesh and bone like a hundred knives.

Kabuto tried to roll to the side but it was as if his whole body was encased in mud. His fingers and arms seemed to be made of lead. The room began to swirl and warped into an never ending cascade of dancing lights and flowering gloom simultaneously. Over the sudden ringing in his ears, Kabuto heard a the tell tale slide of kunai in wood followed by a soft _tut tut tut_ by Sasori as he carefully removed the kunai from Kabuto's nerveless fingers. His inner ear told him he was currently falling despite the fact that he could feel the freezing wooden floor through his cheek. His mouth and throat felt parched and blocked as if stuffed with cotton wool. His lungs were screaming for air. The faintest prick on his neck took his sense of touch and stopped the tremors. For a moment, he was sure he could smell hazelnuts before even that vanished. Finally darkness engulfed his mind.

Kabuto knew no more.

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Uzumaki Naruto walked aimlessly through the streets of Konoha, his bright orange jumpsuit shining brightly as it reflected the rays of the midday sun. This in itself was nothing unusual - Naruto often walked aimlessly through Konoha. His tiny apartment was really just a place to sleep over and stash what few belongings he had so he was always outside if he could help it. No, the unusual part was that he was frowning.

He wasn't really unhappy, just bored. It was a beautiful sunny day and he didn't have to go to the academy today, which usually meant a fun day for him. But not today, he had already performed every prank he could think of and, well, that's as far as his ideas to pass the time went. Oh, he could whip out some lame prank in an eye-blink, but that was below him. No, a true master of pranks like him did not go for quantity – if he was going to prank someone it was going to be unique, unexpected, and _absolutely hilarious_. But he currently had nothing that fit that description. He briefly toyed with the idea of searching out for Sakura-chan, but she was particularly angry yesterday, so he decided to give her some space for a while. At least until tomorrow. Wasn't that considerate? Certainly more than Asshole Sasuke. Anyway, now he was thinking about what to do with himself. 'The frown' he was wearing was what people who knew him a little better, few as they were, referred to as his 'thinking expression'. Evidently he found the activity painful.

And so, with his face firmly pointed towards the ground, his eyes squinting and his hands in his pockets, Naruto rounded a corner and collided with a red haired teenager who was carrying a stack of wooden boards and other supplies that obstructed his vision. Both of them collapsed on their backs, and Naruto yelped as some of the boards fell on him.

Naruto scrambled up in the blink of an eye, surveying the situation. The youth was already up and dusting himself off his dark coat, a green and white striped bucket hat in his left hand, so no damage done. That was good, because Naruto just knew it would be his fault if the older boy was injured in the accident. His satisfaction deflated a little when he noticed a spilled can of brown paint nearby. The other boy also surveyed the situation, not sparing a single glance on Naruto.

"Well crap," the boy mumbled under his breath, no doubt thinking Naruto couldn't hear him. Over the years Naruto had noticed he had a lot better hearing than most people, but that was something he kept to himself. It's amazing what one could find out when people think you can't hear them whispering from the other side of the room. Hell, listening in on conversations was the main way he found out anything!

"Um…" Naruto began. "Sorry about that. I wasn't thinking and wasn't paying attention." A safe answer that had saved him from many a lecture from the Old Man.

The red-head shook his head dismissively, still not looking at Naruto, and began picking up boards. Naruto's blood began to boil – if there was one thing he _hated_ it was being ignored. People looking right through you. He started picking up boards to help the other boy while trying look him in the eye along the way. When that didn't work he started talking.

"Hey Red, what are you doing with these things anyway?" asked Naruto as he handed the last of the boards to the other boy.

"I'm opening a new shop in Konoha," the other boy said evenly, still not having met his eyes. "The building was in pretty bad shape so I was going to change some floorboards and repaint the place."

"Oh," said Naruto staring at the red head. He was well, he was not much bigger than some of the boys he knew, how old was he anyway? "What kind of shop is it anyway?"

"Ninja supplies." commented the boy as he stacked the boards.

"Really! You know, I'm studying to become a ninja!" said Naruto proudly.

"You don't say," the older boy said serenely. "I thought ninja are supposed to be aware of their surroundings at all times."

"What do you…" Naruto stopped when he remembered colliding with the other boy just a few moments ago. "Ah, that. That was a one-time thing. I'm pretty awesome actually. Just you watch, I'm going to be Hokage in a few years, the best Hokage in the history of Konoha in fact, or my name isn't Uzumaki Naruto! Believe it!"

The red head finally deigned to look Naruto in the eyes. The older boy had the most serene expression Naruto had seen in a long time, and Naruto had to fight the urge to look away from the soul-penetrating eyes boring into him.

In his life, Naruto only met three sorts of people: those who clearly disliked him and were constantly putting him down; people who were uncomfortable around him, like he was going to swallow them whole if they take their eyes off of him; and people who were friendly and supportive his dream. The red-head before him was none of those things – his face portrayed a sort of calm confidence that told Naruto he didn't mean a damn thing to the older boy, one way or another.

It was a novel and unsettling feeling.

"That is a pretty grandiose proclamation," the red-head said. "What exactly do you base this opinion on?"

"It's not an opinion!" protested Naruto, regaining his senses. "I am going to be the next Hokage and that's that!"

"Oh," said the red-head calmly. "So its just unsubstantiated _bullshit_."

The sentence was delivered in such a matter of fact tone that Naruto was left actually speechless for a second. Sure some of the older boys used 'bad words' but the way this boy said it in front of him was so demeaning.

Naruto got angry.

"Shut up!" he yelled. "You don't know anything!"

"I know that you make assertions with no proof to back them up, insisting that your feelings on the matter should trump any amount of facts or common sense to the contrary. If you can not present your point of view any better than that, than why should I believe you?" Even under the shadow cast by the bucket hat, Naruto could see the older boy's eyebrow rise.

"When I become Hokage, you'll be sorry for mocking my dream!" tried Naruto again. "You'll be sorry! Everyone will have to admit they were wrong about me and acknowledge me as… what the hell is so funny!" The older boy was laughing. Not just that, it was a deep belly laugh as if he found his dream hillarious.

Naruto was fuming. He didn't know what it was about the red headed teenager that made his teeth grind, seeing how he had his dream dismissed by plenty of people before, but something about his tone and manner of speaking just made him want to punch the guy in the face! And now the way he was laughing was just so annoying!

The red-head finally schooled his expression again. "You really are delusional, aren't you? It takes more than a high position in the official hierarchy to earn people's respect. A Kage is instated into the position because they are respected, not the other way around. You're just a loud brat who talks big. You could proclaim yourself the Shogun of the Elemental Nations and nobody would give a damn."

"Oh yeah! Well _you're_ just a stupid civilian who don't know greatness when he sees it!" screamed Naruto. "I'm going to become Hokage and nothing is going to stop me! So there! What do you say now, huh!"

People around them didn't even stop to stare, going about their lives as if this was a regular occurrence.

And it was.

Naruto had to admit it wasn't the first time he yelled something like that in the middle of the street. The red headed teen, however, didn't scoff or sneer at Naruto, or react in a way that the blonde would expect. He didn't commend him on his 'Will of Fire' like the Old Man would, or wave him off out of annoyance like most civilians. Instead his face suddenly got completely and utterly serious.

"You are such a petulant child," the red head said calmly and then having picked up the boards, simply turned and went on his way, leaving Naruto behind with the empty can of brown paint.

Naruto had heard a lot of insults in his life. He had been called a failure, an idiot, a no-good brat that would never amount to anything, a dope, the dead-last, trash, a public disturbance, and much worse. And yet, none of those affected him the way this simple sentence did. There was no trace of anger in the other boy's voice as he said them, no underlying sense of superiority: it was as if the other boy truly believed Naruto deserved to be told this.

Naruto stared at the can of spilled paint the red-head left behind for a full minute before continuing his aimless wandering, this time with a real frown on his face.

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Naruto sat on a swing in one of the many small parks that dotted Konoha, half - heartedly pushing himself from time to time. There was nobody there except him, as everyone had left when he arrived, so the only sound that could be heard was quiet creaking of the swing. It would have probably been a rather eerie scene if he was not used to it by now. In fact, he chose this specific swing precisely because it creaked.

Ever since he was a child he found the silence terrifying. His ears picked up all sorts of creepy sounds when things were quiet. People often spoke mean things to him when he passed by them in an empty street, thinking he could not hear them, and then denied they did any such thing when he called them on it. Sometimes, when things were particularly quiet, he could even hear the soft footsteps of Invisible People behind and around him, hiding in the trees and rooftops. It was only years later that he understood that he wasn't imagining things and that he simply had better ears than other people.

The 'Invisible People' turned out to be ANBU that followed him around for some reason when he was a child. He would occasionally catch glimpses of their stark white masks, with their animal faces and huge black eyes, and it terrified him. These 'evil spirits' haunted his childhood nightmares every time he closed his eyes, and it was years before he found out they were just ninja sent to protect him. Even today, he still resented the Old Man somewhat for not telling him about that, and for laughing at him when a particular encounter with ANBU scared him to tears.

Jerk.

In any case, he was no longer terrified of silence, but he didn't like it. In silence, there was little to do but think, and Naruto didn't really want to think. Thinking inevitably led to an awful lot of questions that nobody really wanted to answer. There was not much point to it, really – the way to succeed was to ignore all who wanted to bring him down and press on regardless of what their arguments were. 'The Will of Fire', as the Old Man would put it. Thinking just made you depressed and cranky. So whenever there was something bothering him, he would come to the swing. The rhythmic creaking sound soothed him, allowing him to focus on the creaking instead of pointlessly dwelling on his problems. Its not like thinking about problems sovled them, you needed to go on.

He glanced at the surrounding playground. When he first came here, there had been a gaggle of children playing there, but they wanted nothing to do with him, and soon left. Naruto wasn't really bothered – they were stupid anyway. 'Playing Ninja', yeah right… he was going to be a _real_ ninja, so there. It's just that he couldn't help but overhear one boy telling the others that his mother told him to stay away from Naruto, 'because he was dangerous'. It reminded him of his time at the orphanage, when he would overhear other children spreading all sort of trash about him behind his back. It made him so…

He clenched the chains tighter in his hands and pushed himself more firmly off the ground. As the creaking got louder and the wind started hitting his face, Naruto could feel his anger abating and his thought shifting elsewhere. It did not matter. None of it mattered. He was going to become Hokage and marry Sakura-chan, and no one will speak such lies about him again.

'_You're such a petulant child.'_

He pressed his feet firmly into the ground and the swing came to a swift halt.

"This sucks," stated Naruto to no one in particular.

This was all the red-head's fault. If he had not made fun of his dream like that, he would not be depressed in the first place, and he would not give a damn what a bunch of brats think about him. Suddenly his face split into a devious smile and he began chuckling to himself. Hehehe. Didn't the guy said he was opening a new shop? And he needed it painted too? Too bad that paint can got spilt.

Well… surely Naruto could help out a bit in that regard.

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It was evening by the time Sasori managed to free himself from his work and return came to his shop, only to find the blonde boy from earlier that day painting his shop in pink and yellow flowers. Pink. Yellow. Flowers. Sasori HATED flowers – such transitory things, wilting away after just a few days – but the real issue was that flowery background was not something that any self-respecting ninja supply shop would use. Which was the whole point behind the kid's activities, he supposed.

As stealthily as he could, Sasori approached the blonde until he was right behind him. It was surprisingly difficult, actually. The boy had good hearing.

"What do you think you're doing to my shop?"

The boy jumped in surprise. Jumped and dropped his brush, but did not make a single sound. Instead he spun around with speed that surprised Sasori, staring bug-eyed at the puppet master with a stunned 'what the hell' expression on his face. Sasori's face was carefully twisted into an expression of mild irritation at the childish act of vandalism the blonde was inflicting upon him.

"Err… I'm… helping you out! Yeah! You did said you need to paint the shop so I thought…"

Sasori stared at the blonde in silence. Did he look that stupid to the kid? No one would believe such a transparent lie. He waited for a while for the blonde to state something else, but boy just started chuckling and rubbing the back of his head nervously, before quickly scooping up his brush and putting it behind his back, as if doing so would hide his involvement at the shop's sudden flower motif. He looked ready to bolt at the first sign of danger, but Sasori had no intention of wasting his time by chasing a little kid around like an idiot.

"That's such a pathetic lie," Sasori said finally. "After having been caught red-handed, you can not even admit as much and apologize like a responsible individual. Earlier today you told me you wanted people's respect, and then you do something like this?" He gestured towards the garish flower motif.

"But…" the blonde protested weakly, clearly not expecting this kind of interaction. Sasori supposed that curses and threats of physical violence were common responses to something like this, but Sasori would never stoop to the level of swearing and he didn't do threats – he killed. The kid wasn't _quite_ at the point where Sasori wanted to skewer him without warning and dump his corpse into a nearby river, but he was getting there.

"But what?" Sasori said. "You just vandalized my place. You're not getting any respect that way."

"Vandalism!" protested Naruto indignantly. "This is art, man!"

Sasori struggled to keep his temper in check and failed, lowering his face in a threatening manner. The gesture caused the boy to take a step back and take in all available escape routes. Sasori was actually impressed at the reaction, and idly wondered what kind of life the kid lived if he already had an instinct like that.

"Art?" Sasori asked in a deceptively friendly tone, his eyes boring into boy's, daring him to repeat what he just said.

"Y-yeah," the boy answered. He swallowed heavily, clearly trying to summon his courage. "It takes a lot of skill and effort to do something like this! I had to evade the patrols and find the time to finish painting the place; bring enough paint and correct brushes and not be slowed down by everything I carried; fit all the materials within my budget; paint everything in less than an hour; lots of things. And look how cool the flowers are! That takes skill! Besides, your shop is called Eternal Beauty, and aren't flowers beautiful?" he finished lamely.

It… made some twisted sort of sense. No doubt organizing something like this took a non-trivial amount of effort, and the boy clearly cared about his workmanship enough to argue (feebly) with the man whose property he just vandalized. Still, flowers were NOT beautiful and at the heart of things this was just a childish prank, superbly executed or not, Sasori was not going to encourage it.

"Yes, I bet your parents would be real proud of you," Sasori said.

"My parents are dead," the boy said angrily.

"So are mine," Sasori shot back. "The point remains."

The blonde grunted and backed off. Which was good, because Sasori never had much patience with the 'lack of parents' excuse. And it wasn't because Sasori lost his parents too, either – it's just that Sasori had lived long enough to see plenty of people whose lives were, to borrow a phrase he overheard a few days ago, 'utter suck-age'. There were far, _far_ worse fates in the world than losing ones parents was. Did he think he was worse off that the young boys sold into slavery or the starving children of the remote villages where they lived hand to mouth for their entire lives?

"It was a prank, okay?" said Naruto quietly. "It's what I do. I prank people. I thought everyone knew that."

Sasori cocked his head to the side in a curious expression, like a bird studying a shiny object. The child was baffling, and Sasori did not like things he didn't understand. He liked to examine them until they make sense, vivisect them if he had to.

Fortunately for the boy, verbal answers should be sufficient in this case.

"Why do you prank people?"

"I…" begun the boy. "It's fun. I make people laugh... sometimes."

"Really?" Sasori responded. "For a moment I thought it was revenge for disagreeing with you when you ran into me earlier."

The blonde looked down into the ground. "You were making fun of me," he protested weakly.

"Actually I was just being dismissive," Sasori said. "I assure you I derived no 'fun' from berating you. I was just annoyed that some random kid ran into me, spouted a whole lot of nonsense without so much as a word of prompting from me, and then behaved like a spoiled child when I objected to his claims."

"I am _not_ spoiled!" said the boy, voice rising and a frown on his face. "Or petulant either!"

"You love to brag, you are easily offended, and you take things personally when there is no need to. That's not what a mature person behaves like."

"But you dismissed my dream without thinking! Why is it impossible for me to become Hokage, huh!"

"I never said it was _impossible_," said Sasori with annoying patience, "but you'll need to earn people's respect first before you're even considered for the position. That is no easy feat, and you are years, probably decades away from being a viable candidate. Pronouncing your intention to become Hokage to an absolute stranger, without prompting, makes you seem conceited. It would paint just about anyone in bad light, but especially someone like you – a little kid who isn't even a out of academy yet."

The boy shuffled in place uncomfortably, clearly at loss for a response.

"I will not give up!"

"Good for you," Sasori said flatly. "Now get lost before I report you for this… _art_… of yours."

Sasori watched the kid as he ran into the night. The child had piqued his interest. From their exchange, and people's reactions, he got the notion that the blonde was infamous somehow, yet he had no knowledge of him. He always hated being in the dark of things, so perhaps a small information gathering endeavor is in order. He needed some time to clear his head, anyway, and how hard should it be to shadow someone like that kid or milk a few shopkeepers for info? Probably take half an hour. Tops.

Uzumaki Naruto, wasn't it?

He glanced at his shop. No way was he scrubbing off all that paint. This was the sort of thing for breaking in rookie genin – he'd just post a D-rank with the Mission Department.

Yes, Sasori had a petulant side too.

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Ichiraku's Ramen Stand was Naruto's sanctuary. If there was any place he considered home, it would be that little stand, with it's delicious aroma of ramen wafting through the air, the pleasant attitude of old man Teuchi, and the friendly conversations with Ayame. When possible, he would time his visits so that he would be the only costumer and pretended in his mind that they were a family of sorts.

"So what's on your mind?" Ayame asked, arms crossed on the countertop as she leaned across it.

"Nothing," said Naruto. "Why?"

"You seem upset."

Naruto concentrated on his ramen bowl for a moment to buy time. It had been three days and he couldn't stop thinking about the red-headed shop owner. What was the deal with that guy, anyway? The guy just didn't make sense.

He shook his head, banishing the thought. He came here to get his mind off the guy!

Originally he wanted to talk to the Old Man, since the he always seemed to have an answer to all Naruto's questions, but he was too busy this week to meet with Naruto. It was probably for the best – why should he bother Old Man because of what some random shop keeper told him? It was nothing. He had heard a hundred insults from a hundred different shop keepers. It was nothing.

Only, there was something strange and unnerving about the red-head, something that made his remarks strike deeper than they should, but Naruto couldn't pin-point it. In fact, he… Damn it, he was thinking about him again! What the hell!

"Just people putting me down again," Naruto said. "I'll be alright in a couple of days."

"Don't worry Naruto, you'll show them all one day," Ayame said and smiled.

Naruto grinned. He knew she was saying just to make him feel better, but he still appreciated it. "Damn right they will. It's just gets me down every now and then, but I can handle it. Uzumaki Naruto can't be defeated that easily!"

He talked with Ayame for a while, with the old man Teuchi occasionally dropping into the conversation to deliver some of his own advice. They were supportive, like always, and Naruto soon found himself in a good mood again. He wished he could afford to come here every day… or better yet, that he had someone like this waiting for him when he came back to his apartment. Instead, the only think that waiting for him there was silence.

But he couldn't think like that. At least the apartment was ten times better than the orphanage had been. At least the apartment was warm and dry, unlike the alleys he'd slept in for that night after he ran away from the orphanage.

At least if he had a nightmare there, nobody would bug him or make fun of him about it.

He finished his last bowl, paid for his meal, and waved the Ichiraku's goodbye. He knew it was about time to close down the stand, even if neither Teuchi or Ayame came out and tell Naruto to get lost so they can go home. They were too nice for that, but Naruto didn't want to inconvenience them.

He didn't really want to inconvenience anyone. So why did so many people go out of their way to inconvenience _him ? _One more question that had no answer and was pointless to think about.

He walked the streets without really paying attention, every nook and cranny of the village already memorized. After a ten minute walk he reached his destination: a small mixed goods store that was about to close soon. Good, his timing was _perfect_.

He pushed the door and walked in without sparing a second glance to the cashier. Sometimes the store owners gave him trouble, but never when he came in a five minutes before closing. Nobody wanted to talk trash or argue when they could just grit their teeth, play along, and go home for the day already. He scanned the shelves quickly, taking things that looked safe.

Buying food in stores was always a gamble - every once in a while he would get terrible stomach pains and fevers after eating food he bought from them. It wasn't consistent, so he couldn't really accuse them of trying to poison him intentionally… but the fact remained that buying anything that could be easily tampered with had cost him dearly plenty of times. On top of this, he had to keep in mind that electricity went out randomly in his apartment for hours at the time, so any food he left in the freezer tended to get spoiled if it was perishable. Fire country wasn't named such for nothing, and all that heat did very bad things to any meat or dairy products every time he would get an outage.

As a consequence he only bought factory-packed, hermetically sealed products that could withstand the heat well. Instant soups and ramen were the core of his diet, supplemented be milk and an occasional basket of fruit the Old Man had people bring him.

And besides… he didn't really know how to prepare anything more complex than instant ramen or soup and the instructions on the other stuff were always really tiny and used all sorts of funny words that Naruto didn't understand.

As he exited the store and started walking home he heard a sound to his left and stiffened momentarily before looking around. All day now he has been hearing things, like someone was stalking him, but the sounds were too sporadic for that. It was like being a kid all over again.

He shrugged and continued on. If not the invisible people then just a cat or something.

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It had been a week since Sasori had started shadowing Uzumaki Naruto, and admittedly the blonde was more than he'd expected. Some discrete inquiries made to the other shopkeepers, a few loose lips in the backrooms of bars plus a little coin to grease the wheels of industry with alcohol and he discovered the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki!

Which would have been interesting enough in itself, but the boy himself lived a life an interesting life as befited his status as the container of the nine-tailed fox; with a penchant for immature pranks, transforming into a beautiful woman and what seemed to be the luck of the Seven Gods of Fortune themselves – considering the fact that no one outside Konoha (and only the older generation within it) seemed to know of his status which went a long way against assassination or kidnapping attempts.

Not that having the hand of the Hokage over him hurt. Which raised over a thousand different questions about the Jinchuriki's relationship with the aging Hokage. Had not the Hokage's wife died in the Kyuubi attack?

That man had actually spoken out and forbidden attempts to militarize the boy; no being locked away in a secret facility and bombarded with conditioning genjutsu and training to shape him into a weapon. No being sealed into a permanent dream state in some underground bunker and hooked up to a life support system to delay the Kyuubi's rebirth. No marriage contracts or 'playmates' to court and manipulate him – building all the while, feelings of loyalty, love and of course, self sacrifice – on behalf of Konoha and its Clans.

Sasori was impressed. Despite the many interest groups and forces at play, the Hokage had deftly navigated that nightmare and ensured that the boy had a normal as possible life, considering the circumstances. That alone spoke volumes about Sarutobi's political skill and the loyalty accorded him by both civilians and shinobi alike.

Such a position had a way of making even the most cautious men careless, but not Sarutobi, who, once having solidified his support, created and instated a law forbidding anyone from revealing the secret of the Kyuubi to Naruto, disallowing retaliation against him for any blood debt arising from the the Kyuubi Attack, from persecution due to his status as the Kyuubi Jinchuriki - it continued along this vein for another fifty pages.

And Sandaime's law was no paper tiger.

The genjutsu and truth serum combination he used on the merchant was weak, but it had got the job done before killing him in his sleep.

About seven years ago, two respected Hyuuga clan elders, in collusion with one of the Council - no one knew who, but the plan could not have proceeded without their knowledge - had made attempted to get close to the Jinchuriki and instill ideas of sacrifice, love and loyalty to the Village...

...along with the Hyuuga Cursed Seal.

Attempted.

The branch members who had approached Naruto encountered a small snag in their plans - 'Naruto' turned out to be the Hokage's chief of security, Itakura Mariko, who had an ANBU team on stand-by. Even as they recoiled in surprised, the jounin trapped them within a genjutsu that left them paralyzed but fully cognizant of their surroundings.

Their wrists were shattered, ankles broken, mouths gagged and their eyes sealed before being bound and taken away.

Within the hour, the Hokage had issued arrest warrants. The two elders were kidnapped from within their rooms in the Hyuuga compound that night. The next morning, amidst the chaos, messengers arrived bearing missives waxed with the Hokage's Seal. All who knew the truth about the Jinchuriki were to attend.

When they had arrived, they were greeted by the sight of the bloodied bodies of the branch members, the two Elders and seven other co-conspirators. Morino Ibiki, the resident ghoul in the dungeons, had worked swiftly throughout the night to wring the names of others from their lips.

The Hokage himself handled the execution, and though their deaths were swift, each and everyone of them paid dearly - stripped of their assets and titles as they were publicly disgraced. At the end of it, he had turned his gaze to his councillors and asked, point blank, if anyone present found his law so burdensome that they must turn to treason.

Hyuuga Kyuushu, the – former - Lord Hyuuga had begged forgiveness from Sarutobi and offered his own life to expiate the stain on his Clan's honor. He split his belly, and died in that very hall, before some of the most powerful and influential people in Konoha

Elders Koharu and Homura did not escape Sarutobi's censure. Before ending the meeting, the Hokage had begun a spiel about how dire the times were and how important his fellow council members were to Konoha's continued survival and prosperity, thus, effective immediately, he was relieving their usual guards and replacing them with ANBU he had selected personally – to better protect them, of course – and who were to accompany them everywhere. If the Hokage even suspected them in the future, he would order their deaths, and their own bodyguards stood ready to deliver that sentence.

The message was clear. Secret meetings, whispered words, even letters could be weighted with treason and none would escape the Hokage's notice.

No one was exempt. Not the nobles. Not Council members.

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Sasori entered a small restaurant and perused the menu. His watcher across the street settled in at the magazine stand.

Fifteen minutes later as Sasori nursed his drink and flirted with the waitress, the watcher finally left and rejoined his patrol group. Just to be safe though, Sasori remained where he was for half an hour, getting a date at the art museum on saturday. While he had a smile on his face as he left, inwardly Sasori cursed. He had lost Naruto's trail and he had tipped his hand. That waitress had seemed...eager. What if she was part of that patrol group ? Even if she was not, there had been others in the cafe, all of whom had seen and heard him talking. What if one of them was part of Internal Affairs? Shit. Young men did not turn down dates from young women. That was one saturday blown.

What if the saturday meeting was a trap? Sasori had to make preliminary plans to leave the village, in which case, he needed to map out an exit strategy for art museum if it turned out to be some ploy they used to isolate him. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Just avoiding being seen was a chore, since the boy had more than just good hearing - it was positively preternatural - and while Stealth was large part Sasori's specialty, it took constant effort to remain silent, unseen and most importantly, undetected as he shadowed the boy while avoiding the inevitable village patrols, the notice of the gossipy civilians and the random ninja simply going about their daily lifes. Had anyone discovered him, circumstances would rapidly become untenable.

That night, Sasori ghosted into the Academy and procured a copy of Naruto's academy records.

The boy was an utter failure – an atrociously bad student with an unhealthy obsession with his female classmate, utterly devoid of social intelligence and possessing of incredibly grating manner of speech. Naruto would cut classes which Sakura was not in or simply because he did not like the teachers. He took no notes during class and spent most of his class time staring at the object of his obsession rather than focusing on the lesson and wrote whatever he felt was the appropriate answer on the exercises.

When presented with a mathematical problem of a triangle along with the value of A and B and told to find the value of C, the boy had circled the C on the triangle and wrote 'Here it is!'. The instructor had not been amused.

Most people would say - and _had_ said, in front of the boy sometimes - that the boy was hopeless.

Sasori wasn't most people and he saw potential. _For __Naruto..._

The spars organized by the academy, as well as an occasional vivid report by one of the instructors, showed that the boy had excellent spur of the moment planning and often came up with unconventional, but effective - if risky - tactics. Clearly the blonde had a good grasp of strategy stuffed in his brain, could think on his feet and had some spatial intelligence.

Despite logistics and intricacy of his many pranks, the boy's apartment was as expected.

Doodle filled scrolls and dog eared comics sitting besides empty bowls and instant ramen cups. The pantry was packed with nine varieties of instant ramen along with some tinned meats and vegetables. Bowls were stacked on top of the pantry. The paint on the walls was cracked and peeling. A pile of clothes and more orange jumpsuits claimed a corner of his apartment where he kept his bed. His equipment was not properly stored or maintained.

Considering the complete disinterest the all of the academy instructors had for him, he could not blame the boy.

..._and himself._

Sasori couldn't deny he was interested in Naruto. A small part of him sympathized with the boy's plight. He had the potential but a combination of immature pranks, laziness and resistance against anyone challenging his dream had just about driven everyone away from him. Sasori could count the boy's strings on one hand.

A burning ambition to become a Hokage - One.

Adore Haruno Sakura and hate Uchiha Sasuke - Two.

Talk with Teuchi and Ayame from Ichiraku's - Three.

Idolize the current Hokage, Sarutobi – Four.

Not even five, unless that spineless Hyuuga girl ever summoned up the courage to actually talk to her crush. Like _that_ was ever going to happen.

What was the worse that could happen? Really. An innocent conversation here and there. Maybe he could find out something that could be of use once he returned to the Akatsuki. If he managed to kidnap the boy, he could hand him over to Itachi and Kisame and use him as the olive branch against their retribution. Better still, such a gift would be well received by Leader; acting as proof of Sasori's loyalty and dedication to the cause.

He would not have to do much; just talk to the kid. The boy was _that_ emotionally starved.

Perhaps he could influence the jinchuriki and manipulate him and if not… well, it was not like he had lost much. Besides, Sasori had recruited hundreds of men and women over the years for his own purposes and it would not be the first time he had done so simply to burn them at a later date.

Naruto did not have anyone to help him, either in his calling as a ninja or in life. The few people he interacted with on positive terms were no more than acquaintances by standards of others. He had no one he could really go to if he had a problem, no true role model, no one he could reliably count on. The boy was willing to be scorned by others just for momentary attention afforded by his antics. Perfect material to be molded. He was positively desperate to find someone, _anyone_, who would not hate him or ignore him.

And Sasori was going to be that someone.

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"Happy birthday, Naruto."

Sarutobi suppressed a chuckle of amusement as Naruto grunted something vaguely like 'thank you' before continuing his assault on the Special-Super-Grand-Deluxe-Event ramen bowl. His birthday present; the boy was so easy to please. It made him feel bad for not devoting more time to the child, but he was swamped with obligations.

The Kyuubi attack had weakened the Village considerably and now this mess with the Uchiha. Both were massive blows to Konoha's power, leaving scars that would take time to heal. Other villages were constantly probing for weaknesses – the failed Hyuuga kidnapping - which even now was causing a massive diplomacy headache, and internal power-plays that threatened to blow out of control since the Hyuuga had been humiliated.

As if that had not been enough, he had learnt just three hours ago of yet another civil war in Ame; Hanzo's grip was slipping. Now there were skirmishes along all of its borders which included the Land of River, Earth, Wind, Grass and Fire. Communications from the Border Defense Groups were short and sporadic. Undoubtedly, there would be a hundred different interest groups bickering amongst each other in an attempt to fill the power vacuum created by this newest misfortune. The Council meeting tomorrow was surely shot to hell now. A two hour pissing contest while they tried to form a response. There would be teams that had to sent out to reinforce the BDG and then, oh joy, meeting with the diplomats from Grass, River, Earth and Wind before meeting and briefing the nobles and god forbid, His Excellency, the Lord of the Land of Fire.

He was forced to agree with Koharu's words when she had heard the news "One huge clusterfuck after another" - and Sarutobi was in charge of dealing with it.

Try as he might, he was just too busy to devote more time to his adoptive grandson.

The sun was still rising, yet he could already hear the distinctive whistle of fireworks in the distance. The tenth of October. An auspicious day and unofficially, the 'Yondaime Celebration Day'. Most businesses worked half a day. Fireworks, food, costumes and masks for children and the actors performing in the open air kabuki that night.

Sarutobi sighed. Another year come and gone without a successor. Ten years to the day he had begun to search. What a mess. Looking into the little soup at the bottom of his regular ramen bowl he felt a thousand miles away. As always, he began to count his mistakes.

_Begining with his students -_

Orochimaru, a traitor, who experimented on kidnapped civilians and shinobi; if the fragmentary reports were to be believed, his brightest student had joined some mercenary group involved with Iwa's rising power and this latest Ame civil war. If they were to be believed... his student had become something out of the blackest nightmare; a complete monster, caring for nothing and no one except himself, freely dabbling in necromancy and even more horrendous experiments. _I should have killed you, Orochimaru._

Tsunade, having publicly forsaken her name and disavowing her Senju heritage as part of the Village, she cursed Konoha with her every breath while gambling away every ryo in the Clan coffers she could lay her hands on. Never mind that she had abandoned her post, embarassed Konoha on the world stage and disgraced the memory of every kunoichi who had soldiered on despite their losses. He had seen some legendary binges in his time, but Tsunade outdid them all; nearly twelve years now and she still refused to heed any council or accept any help, even from her apprentice. _I should have been stricter with you, Tsunade._

Jiraiya...where to start with _that_ one? The weakest had become the strongest; even if he were in his prime, there was a chance Jiraiya could defeat him. No illusions there, if the day ever came where he, Homura, Koharu and Danzou were no longer vital to the survival of Konoha... Jiraiya would assassinate them all come the next morning. Whoever his successor was, they would allow it; to gain the loyalty of one of the strongest shinobi alive? They'd do it in a heartbeat. No more than what he or anyone on the Council would have done. No, his student had seen too much and his eyes, once so warm were now frighteningly cold... and they would be even colder the next time they met; his man at the Academy had reported that Naruto records had been accessed which meant that Jiraiya had finally managed to turn or buy weight with someone at the Academy and undoubtly had the report card and file in his hands by now.

_- followed by his family.._.

The tenth. Asuma. His own son still refused to speak to him, had not visited his mother's grave since he had returned from the Imperial Court and displayed no interest in any attempt at reconciliation he made. Out of sheer spite, he refused to see Konohamaru or play a part in his upbringing. He could still recall the rage and revulsion in Asuma's voice the night he had left Konoha for the Daimyo. _Play a part in this farce? I don't know why I am surprised. The day you tell him the truth about his..._ _Don't worry, Old Man, enough time and you'll fuck this up by _yourself. _I'll have no part in this..._

The tenth. An empty bed for two in his ancestral home._ Biwako..._

The tenth. Naruto who idolized and loved him as one loves a champion, with unending admiration and adulation_. Will there come a day when he curses me just as my students curse me...as my son cursed me...as my grandson might one day?_

The young girl, Ayame, he recalls after a second, is staring at him. "So, 10 years old, huh?" she asks loudly, false cheer making her voice wooden. Diverting her eyes to Naruto, pretending to have not seen anything though it is as clear as day to his trained senses.

Unbidden he can hear Danzo's gravelly voice, "_Get a grip __on yourself, Hiruzen! Sandaime Hokage? Hah! Undone by a servant girl and a lowly one at that. Get your shit together!_" Followed by Biwako's lightning quick retort, "_Hmph! Women are naturally more observant than men._" She could turn any argument into her favor._ "Our minds are more complex aft..."_

"Yup!" answered Naruto loudly, temporarily stopping his ramen shovelling. "One year closer to becoming Hokage!" Naruto grins and is like the sun rising over the mountains at dawn. The mists evaporate like the dreams of old men.

"I'm not so sure…" said Sarutobi mischievously, "if what Iruka is telling me is correct, you'll be glad to even graduate from the Academy."

"That's mean, Old Man," protested Naruto, but quickly twisted his face into his signature foxy grin. "You're just afraid for your job so you're trying to demoralize me. Uzumaki Naruto doesn't quit that easily! Believe it!"

"I'm glad to hear that," said the aging Hokage. "Determination is a crucial skill for a ninja. Still, I'm somewhat concerned that a potential Hokage is unwilling to do the work necessary to qualify for the position. Will you shirk from your responsibilities as a Hokage too?"

"No!" shouted Naruto, rising from his stool. "I'm going to be the bestest Hokage ever! I'd never let down the village like that!"

Sarutobi locked eyes with Naruto, who looked directly into his eyes, as if daring him to contradict him. Even when he remained silent as the minutes dragged on, Naruto refused to back down. The boy did not even flinch. Sarutobi couldn't resist chuckling in amusement at that kind of bravado. '_The Will of Fire burns strongly in him, indeed_.'

Naruto did not seem very pleased that his heartfelt proclamation was being laughed at though and returned to his meal, mumbling about how nobody takes him seriously.

"I heard that you tried to reach me last week," said Sarutobi. "I am sorry that I could not meet you but I was busy and your birthday was close so… It was not anything urgent, I hope?"

"Nope," said Naruto casually. "I just had a chat with someone and it made me think. I just wanted to talk to you a bit."

"Well, I'm all ears," he said. Did some Academy Instructor chew him out? That had never worked before. He would go over the reports again...though they had not indicated that Naruto had gotten into an altercation or anything beyond the usual.

"It was nothing important," said Naruto, shaking his head. "I've dealt with it. How is being Hokage working for you?"

"I manage," replied Sarutobi evenly.

"Good, don't you dare retire before I'm ready to take your place, Old Man," Naruto warned.

"Well, you better hurry and improve, because I do not plan to stay Hokage another decade. As you are, you're not looking like a very promising successor." Naruto looked shocked. "I know, I know, I believe you, but you have to look at things my way. You're lagging behind all your peers. Accuracy, ninjutsu, taijutsu, academic knowledge… you are not very good at any of them. Yet instead of trying to catch up to your classmates, you are spending your time playing pranks on people. That does not look very responsible."

Naruto's face twisted itself into a sour expression. Sarutobi suspected he would not get an explanation for the boy's bad performance. He found it hard to believe Naruto's problem was laziness, but how else could he explain his abysmal scores? He wasn't abused, Sarutobi was sure of that – while there were certain… incidents… when he was younger, Sarutobi's vicious executions of anyone bold enough to attack the boy physically dissuaded potential assassins and thugs. Now, as if in protest against not being able to hurt the boy, people just ignored Naruto as best as they could. Which wasn't all that easy when you're dealing with a loud, orange-clad kid practically bouncing off the walls with barely contained energy.

"Yeah, I know," said Naruto finally, rubbing the back of his head and chuckling nervously. Sarutobi was honestly surprised – Naruto had never before admitted that his performance was unsatisfactory in any manner. "I'll get better, I promise."

Sarutobi wanted to say something, but he knew he had done enough damage. His appetite lost, Naruto proclaimed he had enough ramen and disappeared as fast as he could without appearing like he's running away. Sarutobi wished he brought that subject up on some other meeting, not on the boy's birthday. And after the boy had finished eating. He had expected Naruto to deny the accusations with all his breath and press on, not this. It seemed that the stream of constant failures was finally getting to the kid.

Sarutobi's eyes followed him until he turned the corner. Paying for their meals, he started walking to the Financial District as his bodyguards formed a perimeter around him.

His jounin secretary, Setsuna, appeared in a dazzling red kimono tied with a beautiful obi. Falling into step beside him without missing a beat, she began going day schedule; he was running late for the speech to the Merchant's Guild but no sweat, she had a body double sitting at his table though neither she nor the double had his speech – Sarutobi never let anyone (he could not stop Biwako) besides himself carry or touch his speeches before he delivered them.

"If you want, I could deliver your speech and that would free up some time before you meet with Lady Yumiko and Lord Imagawa..." Someday, Sarutobi mused, he was actually going to publish his memoirs and get back at all those priggish idiots for the shit they tried to make him eat.

"Lets head over to the feast" Sarutobi replied. "By now, most of the eating and drinking will be winding down so all I need to do is grin and bear it for a while before delivering my speech."

Setsuna nodded and rearranged his day planner.

As he passed by the Academy, his thoughts turned once again to Naruto. Hopefully, the boy would overcome whatever problems held him back and start to shine. If things did not improve, perhaps he could get a tutor for the boy...

It was not supposed to be like this.

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Naruto closed the door his apartment with a sigh of relief. Even though he only treated his apartment as a place to sleep and a storeroom for his bulkier belongings, he was glad he had the place. It was rather calming to be here, second only to sitting on one of the Ichiraku's stools. His apartment might be a dump, with cracks running through the walls, a broken window repaired with duct-tape, hit-and-miss utilities, and a million other imperfections, but it was _his_. There was something comforting in that fact. In the orphanage he had to make a scene whenever he wanted something to be done, but now that he had an apartment all to himself he could shower whenever he feels dirty, eat whenever he was hungry - not just at meal times -, and get clothes for himself without them mysteriously disappearing.

But his mood wasn't particularly upbeat. Even the Old Man thought he was a failure; that had really struck a nerve. Being told you're doing badly by a jerk like Iruka, was one thing, and altogether another to have that pointed out to you by someone whose opinion you hold in very high regard. He knew that in the end he would make the Old Man proud by becoming the best ninja ever, but that didn't make the meantime any more pleasant.

He went to the bathroom to have a calming shower, but the water still wasn't back. He'd have to nag the land-lord again. He went by the window, inspecting the potted plants he 'rescued' from the dumpsters around the city. He was slowly nursing them back to health, they were doing ok, he though, but Mr Ueki and Mr Kobayashi was still sickly-looking. Without a second thought, he took his last bottle of water and distributed it over the plants. They needed it more than he did.

What exactly was he supposed to do? Nobody wanted to spar with him, everyone always called him stupid when he asked questions and he never understood the answers the instructors gave. He was sick trying to get the lame clone jutsu to work, he must have practised that jutsu a million times! The instructors never helped him unless he was being a total ass, and even then they just told him what he was doing wrong, never how to fix it. He was reduced to overhearing advice given to other students and doing his best to apply it to himself.

Maybe he could work on accuracy? Its not like you need to know some deep secrets about how to throw a kunai. Yeah, that could definitely work!

A few minutes later he found his kunai pouch and left for his own super-secret training ground. He would practice his throwing till the sun set down, and by tomorrow he'd be the best in class! He'd be better than Sasuke-teme, and then Sakura-chan would like him for being so cool.

"Heheheh." He chuckled to himself as he added details to his fantasy. Yes, that's _exactly_ how it's going to be.

He was rudely wrenched out of his fantasies when he came to his training ground and found it taken. Well, not exactly _taken_. The training ground was big enough for dozens of people, and the two of them could comfortably use this one without bothering each other. And the other person wasn't exactly _rude_. He or she was just sitting cross-legged in the shade of the tree with reading a book beside them. Listening to the birds? The training ground wasn't really _his_. Legally speaking, it was just unused. _But_…

Naruto cautiously approached, and the identity of the intruder became more defined. It was Red, as Naruto came to think of him, the red-headed teenager who's shop he van- uh, _decorated_ a week ago. Not really someone Naruto wanted to meet again. He approached with mild apprehension, but Red was totally oblivious to his presence (Hah! He could do stealth. Iruka didn't know anything!), serene expression plastered on his face. No greeting, no remarks, no nothing.

Naruto debated internally whether to say something and initiate conversation, but decided against it. It wasn't the first time he'd gotten silent treatment and besides… maybe... maybe he kind of deserved it this case.

So Naruto did the same thing the red-headed teen did – he ignored the other's presence. See how _he_ liked it. He took a kunai out of his bag and started abusing the targets in the distance.

He did it for hours. He threw kunai after kunai, again and again, switched to shuriken and back to kunai again, until his shoulder was sore and he accidentally slashed his pinky. He wasn't getting any better. The stupid things missed, veered off their intended flight path, and bounced - he winced - off targets. By the time the noon sun shone directly on the training ground, Naruto was sweaty, tired and sick of it all, his enthusiasm completely sapped. He kicked the remaining kunai and called them stupid, but found that the inanimate objects were unmoved by his insults. Dragging his feet and pouting to himself, he flopped down under the nearby tree.

He just couldn't understand what the problem was. He couldn't really be that bad, could he? He was going to be the next Hokage! Naruto could already see Iruka in his mind using his Demon Head jutsu. Mute now! Heheheh. If only he could do that in class. Maybe if he put some cough medicine into Teacher's Lounge tea...

Suddenly, Red got up from his tree, picking up the scattered shuriken and kunai, turning them in his hand as he inspected them. Naruto observed him with intense interest but did not say anything while pretending to look everywhere else but where he was standing. When the older boy suddenly began walking towards him, Naruto stood up to face him on equal ground.

"Your weapons are of very poor quality," he began. "They are too soft, improperly sharpened and poorly balanced. Whoever sold you these cheated you. You will NOT improve as long as you use them. These are not even good for training."

For several seconds, Naruto's mind was blank. He had expected him to make fun of his skills or something but... He tried processing what the older boy said but this knowledge just did not mesh with his worldview. The merchant who sold him those was so _nice_! Nice people didn't do stuff like that, did they? He couldn't have possibly _meant_ to sell him faulty merchandise…Yeah, it was probably a mistake. The cashier switched the boxes to get back at him!

'_Whoever sold you these cheated you.'_

There was no ambiguity in that sentence, no straw that Naruto's mind could grasp for in order to interpret it in a positive way. Naruto hung his head. And he paid premium price for those too…

"I can't get any better ones," Naruto said woodenly.

"Why not?" asked Red in that annoying patient tone. His face was doing that stupid serene expression thing.

Naruto's mind exploded in anger. Why not? Why not? He couldn't confront the clerk about this. He could hand them to the Old Man. The answer; he didn't like it, but deep down he was aware of it.

"The shop owners don't like me," said Naruto, locking eyes with the stranger. There, he said it out loud. It was not just that they did not respect him or pretended to not hear his questions or act like he was not there. They disliked him. They were going out of his way to inconvenience him, and him alone. They would continue to do so no matter what he did.

"After our clash that evening," said Red, wrenching Naruto from his thoughts, "I took it upon myself to find out what I can about you. You are a very… notorious person, Uzumaki Naruto."

Naruto's face fell. Here we go; one more person who heard the stories about him and decided they don't want to be anywhere near him. He should just pick up his stuff and walk away, but… Oh what the hell.

"You bet! Everyone knows about me! I am Uzumaki Naruto - Konoha's number one prankster and the future Hokage!" Naruto puffed his chest and did his brightest smile on his face.

"I see," the other boy's expression did not change. "Well Naruto, if the shop owners won't let you buy proper equipment, how about you let me buy it for you?"

Naruto felt his face shift into his patented foxy grin. This guy wasn't so bad after all.

* * *

AN:

1) The premise of this story belongs to nobody102, who gave me permission to use it and was kind enough to serve as a sounding board for my questions.

2) I have dyslexia, so I tried rereading it several times, if any mistakes got through, please point them out and I'll fix it asap.

3) Please R&R.


	2. First Steps

Naruto watched the last kunai fly, and with a satisfying 'thunk', sink into the wood, just touching the outer ring.

Writing down his score on the booklet, Naruto felt his heart rise when he went over the numbers. "One hundred over a hundred." He whispered, unbelieving at the numbers in the booklet. A perfect score! Naruto felt like he was going to burst with happiness. Just as he was about to shout out his victory however...

"Please. While you have demonstrated better accuracy and increased skill at handling your weapons, over three quarters of your weapons landed near or on the outer rings, hardly deserving of your so called perfect score."

Ugh. Red was at it again. He was almost as annoying as Iruka-sensei, without the stupid demon head jutsu, but with all the constant nagging about this and that.

"Before you start bragging about hitting a perfect score, why don't you keep practicing until your weapons actually hit the inner circles before shouting your mouth off ?"

Naruto fumed. Even though he liked Red for talking to him, sometimes he just burned him. Well, he would show Red.

"Hey, Red are you a ninja?"

The red-headed teenager seemed to mull it over for a second, which confused Naruto immensely. How hard could it bee to answer the question; either you were a ninja or you were not.

"I am an artist."

Naruto stared at Red, trying desperately not to laugh. Even though people did not tell things (which everybody else seemed to get), even he knew that being an Artist was a 'sissy' job.

"No, I am not a ninja." clarified the older boy with a bit of heat.

"Hmph, then how would you know anything about getting better with these!" Naruto said triumphantly. Lets see him respond to that! What was he going to do, take out his drawing paper and crayons? Naruto was going to eat this guy alive.

"I run a shop dealing in ninja weapons where I deal with ninja on a daily basis. A shop you vandalized as a form of petty revenge, or had you forgotten that as well ?"

Naruto cringed, the argument had sounded a lot better in his head. Why couldn't this guy just give him a break ?

"Suffice to say, I am quite familiar with the usage of various weapons." finished Red, somewhat angrily.

"Oh yeah ?" challenged Naruto immediately, his pride hurt.

Red walked past him, towards the targets, and started collecting the shuriken and kunai. When he had collected them all, he walked over to Naruto, past him and once further back, turned abruptly.

Realizing what he was going to do, Naruto quickly got out of the way.

Red began throwing the weapons. Expertly.

Naruto watched, amazed as Red just let the weapons fly. He did not stop once to judge where the wind was blowing from, which target was supposed to be the next in the sequence, how many weapons he left, or even slow as he took the weapons out of his pockets.

All fourteen kunai struck the target rings, dead center, buried to the hilt in each.

And that was just for the first set.

Slowing, Red switched to the shuriken, and then, walking forwards, started throwing with both hands, in opposite directions.

What the hell! Naruto's head spun as he tried to track both shuriken at the same time.

The shurikens zoomed in opposite directions down the range; Red did not even seem to be looking at the targets as he passed them by.

All fourteen kunai and thirty six shuriken had landed perfectly, dead center on the targets. Fifty perfect hits. Not just in front of him, but on opposite ends of the range. Red was looking at him with an amused smirk on his face.

"Many people are overjoyed to achieved their goals, because to them, these goals seemed impossible at first. You will be surprised what motivation, hard work, dedication and discipline will allow you to achieve given the proper impetus."

Naruto was still staring at the targets. Fifty perfect hits. At an increased distance. With the shuriken, Red had been actually walking when he had thrown them.

"I do not mean to belittle your achievement. It is a considerable improvement considering you have not had proper equipment to practise with." said Red, diplomatically.

Naruto felt his spirits lift, just a little.

"Nevertheless, if you are content to simply coast by on your 'one hundred over one hundred', then by all means, do so." He continued, deflating Naruto's spirit like pin to a balloon.

"Oh yeah! I'll become the Hokage and then we'll see..."

"Really ?" Red cut in, scornfully.

That halted Naruto in mid-sentence.

"Would the _Hokage_, be content with just hitting the targets or would he hit all the targets perfectly ?"

"..."

"Exactly. Many people think that it would be _great_ to be the Hokage, but like yourself, balk at the work."

"I don't balk!" Naruto said, indignant.

"Then keep practicing until all your hits land on the bull-eyes." replied Red smugly.

"...I'll... become the Hokage..." Naruto tried, feebly, to defend himself

"Would you give that a rest already. We've already established that to become the Hokage requires hard work and dedication. Something you decidedly lack. If you were actually serious about your dream, you would not be content to at your current level but keep working to improve yourself."

"..."

"You know, if you want, I could help you in that regard."

"Huh ?" asked Naruto immediately, attention snapping to the older boy.

"Do you pay attention at all ?" asked Red, one eyebrow arched.

"What?" Naruto shouted. Geez, this guy, what was wrong with him ?

"I deal with ninja and weapons on a daily basis. I can help you improve."

"But you're not a ninja, Red. How can..."

"I see." said Red, narrowing his eyes.

"Huh ?"

"Is it really too much trouble for you to pay attention or show even the slightest bit of common courtesy ?" Red asked irritably.

"I am polite! And what about you, huh!" This jerk! He said Naruto was not polite and then used that as an excuse to act like a Stupid Head.

"Naruto, do you even know my name ?"

"..uuh. Your...name..." Naruto tried to stall as he searched his memory. It was not working, maybe he could just bullshit his way out of...

"Don't be silly. Of course I know your name."

"Say it then."

"Wh-"

"It has been two weeks and not once have you asked me my name. Instead you just went on merrily, ignoring this common courtesy in favor of calling me 'Red'. Do you have any idea how rude and inconsiderate this was, not just to the person but to the people around you ?"

"Ok, ok. I'm sorry. I just want to..."

"It is Sasori, by the way. And I find it hard to accept such an half hearted apology."

"Geez! I apologized already! Why are you still acting like a jerk ?" Naruto said, on the verge of screaming; no matter what he did, this guy just did not quit.

"Your dismissive tone suggests otherwise. If you do not truly mean to apologize, then your apology is worthless." Sasori continued, eyes still narrowed. "Do you honestly think you are that opaque ? That people can not tell when you are trying to blow them off in favor of doing 'your own thing' ? If you do not wish to pursue my teaching, at least be upfront about it."

"Well," Naruto began, taking a breath to stop himself going berserk on the guy. "Maybe if people actually gave me advice about things _I wanted to know about_ instead of stupid things like kunai or shurikenjutsu I would actually listen!"

"What, you mean come here and ask you, what do you want to learn about ?"

"Yeah." Naruto ground out.

"That would be a terrible way to teach. In my experience, all people want are novelties or flashy tricks – something to make others go 'ooh' or 'aah' instead of actual work that entails blood, sweat and tears which they feel to be dull and tedious. As you have aptly demonstrated by refusing to work more and increase your Accuracy."

"I'm a lot better now! I should…" Was this guy blind; Naruto had hit all the targets.

"…stop bothering and coast by on a least amount of effort ?" offered Sasori.

Naruto frowned. "Who cares about these stupid weapons anyway? I want to learn cool jutsu, anyway!"

"And who's going to teach you these cool jutsu ?"

Naruto examined his toes.

"You have the gall to talk becoming Hokage. What about making Rookie of the Year ? I may be new in town, but even I have passed the Academy Notice Board. I noticed that you ranked last in your class, Naruto."

Naruto was not going to cry. He was not. Never. Ever. Just wait, he was going to rain down hell on this guy's shop.

"I can see that when you want to, you push yourself to work, even for hours." Re – Sasori began, motioning to the score notepad that Naruto had been using. "As I said, I can help you."

"..."

"I do not require your answer immediately. Think about what we have discussed. You may not agree with me, but instead of _crying like a baby_, you can keep practicing and you may be surprised at the results."

Naruto was so _angry_ at Sasori.

Just as he managed to get his tea – breathing under control and tell him to stuff it or his shop was going to be toast, he found that Sasori had vanished.

He was alone.

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Naruto kept up his work.

Everyday after class, he went to his super secret training ground and practiced his accuracy until his fingers ached and his arms felt like jelly. Imagining that the targets were Sasuke's face made things a lot more easier. He did not keep score in the notepad, not once since Sasori had mocked him. He was going to show that Stupid Head that he knew nothing.

He could not get a handle on the Sasori. First he said Naruto was stupid and not working hard and then he praised him and then when he felt better, Sasori went right back to making him feel small again. What was his deal!

Thunk. Naruto stared angrily at the target post. The kunai stuck just on top of the outer ring. Argh! Why couldn't he improve faster! Ever since Sasori had fun of his Accuracy, it seemed like his progress had hit a plateau.

It seemed like everyone was on his case these days, Naruto thought as stewed in his seat, ignoring Iruka's mindless blathering.

"Ok class. Everyone line up. Quickly now." Iruka's raised his voice over the din of the classroom. Hmph, Iruka-idiot. Another bastard making his life hard for no good reason.

Naruto was still sulking when his name was called. The moment Sachiko-sensei's eyes fell to him, she let out a tired sigh. "Just get it over with, Naruto-kun." She said, rubbing her forehead to offset the coming migraine; hopefully the kid wouldn't throw another temper tantrum and run off.

Another person did not believe he could do anything. Why couldn't he just catch a break ?

Looking out across the field, Naruto sized up the targets. They seemed easy enough.

Wait, what ?

What had once seemed like an impossible distance, the targets now seemed to be pretty damn close. Hell, Naruto could do this in his sleep.

"What is it, afraid that you're gonna get a zero again idiot ?" came a voice from the students and everyone started laughing. Iruka-sensei quieted them down and Sachiko-sensei sighed again.

"Hurry up, Naruto." she said tiredly.

For some reason, he felt uncertain and anxious. There was a rush, like he had just pulled off a prank and had to act normal so that no one would suspect him. Sachiko-sensei was frowning at him.

Before she could remind him again, Naruto opened his weapon's pouch and began.

One.

Two.

Three.

He did not look to see if they had hit their targets, he couldn't. Not now. His hands were already sweaty. The afternoon air was suddenly cold on his skin.

Four.

Five.

Six.

Naruto keep going, the rush rising higher and higher. He nearly fumbled the weapons because of the sweat on his hands. He almost forgot to breathe as he kept going.

Finally, he reached into the pouch and found nothing there. Blinking, Naruto checked his pouch. It was empty. Looking up, he took in the range.

"Ve...very good, Naruto, a perfect score." came Sachiko-sensei's stunned voice.

The rest of his classmates were silent. Iruka-sensei was staring.

And suddenly...

...Naruto didn't feel so bad after all.

In fact, this day could not get any brighter.

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.

.

When he next arrived at his training ground, Sasori was waiting. Sitting on the stump of a tree, his reading glasses on, a book in his hand which he casually flipped through.

When Naruto purposely stepped on a twig, he looked up, a small, satisfied smile on his face. Naruto did not say anything, ignoring him. Lets see how _he_ liked it. Dropping his schoolbag, he immediately began his drills. Sasori was going to be so stunned!

Except...

...he did not hit the center rings like at the Academy. In fact, he was lucky to hit the middle ring; most of his throws at landed between the middle and outer rings.

Gobsmacked. Naruto just stared. Plans of Sasori's comeuppance gone from his mind. '_What...?'_

"Ah, yes. I was wondering when you would notice that." Sasori began in a smug tone.

At Naruto's stupefied look, Sasori just rolled his eyes and motioned for Naruto to follow him. They went over to the target posters on the log where Sasori pointed to the ground. There were drag marks everywhere. It took only a moment for the other shoe to drop in Naruto's mind.

"You've been messing with my training ground!" He exclaimed angrily.

"Hardly, I have merely been moving the targets further back and changing their position from time to time in an effort to make the range more challenging." Sasori explained calmly.

Naruto was fuming and just about to promise retribution when the older boy went on. "Because of the increased difficulty, you did not notice a marked improvement in your skills and thus worked all the more harder to improve."

"You...you..."

"The Academy range seemed easy did it not ?"

"What does that..."

"Do you really not pay attention to anything ?" asked Sasori, now cross.

At Naruto's expression, Sasori adopted a lecturing tone.

"You aced the Academy course because to you, the range was easy, given that you've been practicing on a more difficult range."

"...Oh." Naruto examined his toes in embarrassment.

"Naruto." Sasori began in a placating tone. "You can remain angry if you want or you can agree to put your pride and so called 'superior' knowledge in the back seat and agree to follow my instruction."

He did have a point. "Sure, I guess I'll..."

"Wait."

"Huh ?"

"First things first. I'm not going to help you just for free."

Now this jerk wanted something ? Naruto was back to hating him. "I don't have any money and besides I'm already going to the Aca -"

"The same Academy that you've been going to for the last four years ?" asked Sasori snidely.

"..."

"I did a little research on you. Despite your age, you've failed the graduation exam once already."

Naruto did not like to talk about that.

"Of course, if you wish to stick with that Academy and its instructors, you are free to do so..."

Talking the Old Man into getting him a spot at the Academy did not seem so good in retrospect.

"...or you can make learn from me, for a price."

Naruto stared up at the older boy. He really wanted to, but he had already spent all of his week's allowance. "I told you, I don't have a lot of money, I -"

"Before you say no, will you do me the courtesy of at least hearing out my proposal ?"

"..."

"Good. Now, I find myself in a spot of trouble. There is literally, a mountain of paperwork to be dealt with back at my shop..."

"I hate paperwork!"

"Which though exhaustive," Sasori continued on, ignoring his outburst. "I can find the time to deal with, what I do not have the time for however, is standing around and making sure it all gets delivered on time to the appropriate departments."

"Huh ?"

"I need an office boy. Someone to brew the coffee, pick up orders from clients, deliver paperwork and complete other miscellaneous tasks from time to time. I will even throw in a small salary for your time."

Work at a weapon's shop and get a salary. He never had a salary before; Naruto wanted to accept but...

"What does miscellaneous mean ?"

"Varied or diverse. Just small tasks really, nothing too difficult for an aspiring shinobi."

Well, it did not sound so bad.

"Of course, given that you will be working at my shop, you would get to see and handle a variety of ninja weapons and tools."

Naruto agreed on the spot, his thoughts turning to all the cool things he had seen in the ninja stores.

He completely missed the sly smile on Sasori's face.

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.

.

Sasori's shop was the definition of cool.

There were weapons and armors of all stripes, some of which mounted on dummies, making them look scary.

There were ropes, chains, backpacks, inky black kunai, what looked like claws, super large shuriken, wheels that had sharp fangs, sickles and chains, nets, smoke-bombs, storage scrolls, there were some spears; it was like a view of paradise to Naruto, who was pulled back by the scruff of his neck before he had a chance to rush in.

"You can check the inventory out." said Sasori. "Everything but the explosive tags."

There were explosive tags here ! Naruto's eyes widened to the size of saucers.

"_Everything_ but the _explosive tags_." Sasori repeated menacingly, adding special emphasis on the words.

Nodding quickly, Naruto rushed in.

It was even more awesome than what he had imagined. The whole shop loomed before him.

Naruto tested nearly everything. From the heavy inky blank kunai with weird shafts on the blade to the leather gloves which had metal points at the fingertips. One whole wall had been dedicated to the longer and bigger weapons; the sleek blades were surprising heavy in his hand. As he examined it, Naruto noticed that the light seemed to glint off a section of the metal. Looking closer, Naruto turned the blade up and down under the light until he found it; embossed onto the blade, below the wave decorations, was a segmented black scorpion that seemed to move, depending on how the light fell on the blade.

"My trademark." came Sasori's voice behind him, scaring Naruto, who dropped the blade. Just before it hit the ground, Sasori expertly caught it and placed it back on the stand. "Now if you are done playing around, there is work to be done."

Gah. Naruto was not going to like this. That he knew already; work was always stupid, which was why all adults became so _boring_.

"I've just set up, so I need to do an inventory and make sure everything is here. Would you mind helping me count all this ?" asked Sasori, motioning to the shop around him.

Naruto grinned. Did Sasori even need to ask ?

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.

Working at the shop was not so bad, Naruto decided, carefully arranging the shuriken into neat little stacks, his fingers covered in plasters.

When Sasori ask for his help in sharpening and cleaning some of the weapons, he could not believe his ears. Sure, Sasori kept an eye on him and gave him a tonne of instructions about how to do things, but it was not so bad.

Before he knew it, evening had come and Sasori was motioning to him to come over to the counter. Scrambling onto a chair, his chin just reached the counter-top.

"Normally I will only pay you on the fifteenth and thirtieth of the month, however, as this is your first day here..." Sasori laid down a small wad of hundred ryo notes.

Naruto's eyes widened comically. Now that was a lot of money. "That's just too much, Sasori. I couldn't just take that from you..."

"Ok." replied Sasori quickly. He picked up the notes and put down a single hundred ryo note on the table.

"What!"Naruto exclaimed, outraged.

"I know now that you will accept less money, why should I, as a business, shell out more if I can get you to work for less ?" asked Sasori quizzically.

"Hey !" Naruto exclaimed. Just because he had said it was a lot did not mean he did not want it. He was just...trying to be polite. Yeah.

"Tell you what." continued Sasori calmly, holding the wad of notes in his hand which Naruto's eyes tracked back and forth. "If you keep up the good work, you can get this. However, if you slack off, your pay will be reduced."

"That's not fair!"

"Oh, I think it is more than fair. What if I paid you in advance and you only did shoddy work?"

"I don't do shoddy work!"

"Then you have nothing to fear. When the time comes, this money is as good as yours."

Naruto was starting to get pissed. What was it with this guy!

Smiling, Sasori pocketed the money. "Think of this as a incentive not only for you to work but to actually show up _on time_. Respect is not just given Naruto, it is earned. Lets see if you can earn mine."

Now he was implying that Naruto would just take the money and not show up for work! Of all the nerve. He was just about to give Sasori a piece of his mind when the older boy spoke again.

"Do not think I have forgotten our arrangement. I have promised to help you. You have to but ask."

Oh now he was in for it. Naruto would blow him out of the water.

"Ok then. What is chakra?" Lets see him answer that; even Sakura-chan had a bit of trouble explaining what chakra was when Mizuno-sensei had asked.

Instead of fumbling at the question, Sasori merely smiled.

Crossing his arms, Sasori adopted a lecturing tone, not sweating in the slightest. "Chakra is formed out of physical and spiritual energy. It is the basis..."

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By mid November, Naruto realized that not only did Sasori know a lot about weapons and ninja gear, he knew everything in the Academy books that Naruto had. In fact, he started reading some of them to make sure Sasori was not just messing with him, but that only brought a whole new set of questions; Sasori's answers did not always agree with the books, but he somehow made the books seem wrong and his own answers correct. The more Naruto asked, the more questions he seemed to have about this and that.

Since there was no one else around, he just brought his questions to Sasori.

It got to the point one day that he began fumbling the questions, so Sasori suggested that he start writing them all down and wouldn't you know it, Sasori just had a blank scroll and pen in a nearby drawer. He handed both to Naruto.

"Just write them down in here ?" asked Naruto. The scroll and pen looked like good quality stuff. He was surprised that Sasori would give such nice things to him..

"Anytime, you think of a question or wonder about something that the Academy instructor does not care explain, just write it down." Sasori replied. "Bring it over and we'll go over them together."

Boy, was Sasori nice like that. If he wanted to see the Old Man, he had to wait for an hour or more.

Sasori showed Naruto how to draw flowcharts, arranging facts into a sequence, with main facts and subsets, it was all kind of complicated but he said it was part of mnemonics, which was supposed to help him learn; can't remember the names of the five nations ? Just think of the five main chakra elements, Fire, Water, Wind, Earth and Lightning and vice-versa.

To tell which element was 'beat the other element', all Naruto had to do was start counting on the numbers: One is Fire, because Konoha was Number One, Two was the Wind that Fire could burn, Three was the Lightning that the Wind blew away, Four was the Earth that the Lightning struck, and Five was the Water that put out the Fire.

They even began working on something called a memory palace, where he put things he knew into imaginary rooms and if he needed to recall those things, he just thought of the room. Sasori said it took time to make a memory palace, that he should just start with a few rooms at first, but Naruto already knew what he wanted; his memory palace would be the size of Konoha! At its center woud be_ his_ office, the Hokage's Office, he could practically feel the Hokage's Hat on his head; it made everything brighter and clearer and so much better.

Sasori would talk and explain things and Naruto would right them down in his scroll. Together they went over the material; sometimes it was in the form of a puzzle, or in pictures or in a game. Sasori even asked his opinion on the stuff they went over, and when Naruto explained, he listened.

As time went by, class, well, was not so boring. It was still a drag, but, maybe it was sort of ok, Naruto decided.

Drawing a small comic strip about all the things he would do when he was Hokage (kick Sasuke's ass and marry Sakura-chan and make it so everyday was Ramen Appreciation Day) Naruto tried to tune the teacher out, until he realized that he knew what the man was talking about.

The realization boggled his mind.

Before Sasori had paid him yesterday, he had given him a small cipher puzzle to solve and it was exactly the same thing that was being discussed now. Instead of seeing a meaningless mish mash of numbers and letters on the board, Naruto could almost glimpse the hidden message within. Woah. That was pretty cool.

Things did not end there. The more he paid attention in class, the more he realized that he knew some of these things, and a lot more than was not covered in the book; this was not so difficult, now he could laugh at the others who fumbled the questions and with a face splitting grin, answer the question the teacher put to him and put them in their place! He was going to be Hokage in no time!

Now that started to get things, the Academy, well, it was not so bad, he guessed. Whenever he did not understand something, he simply wrote the questions he had down in the little black scroll that Sasori had given him instead of asking the instructors who would just make fun of him if he did. _Jerks_.

Naruto immediately noticed the strange looks the instructors gave him over the next few days, he had not pranked anyone in a while, but if something happened and he was in the area, those jerks would always try pin it on him. But instead of accusing him of something, the teacher asked Naruto if he had any questions regarding the topic.

Immediately he heard the other students whisper how he was so dumb. He heard them, clear as day. "Only a loser would not understand something so simple." Well, Naruto was _not_ a loser.

Gritting his teeth, Naruto wondered why the instructor had singled him out. They stopped doing that after his first year. Besides, the more he thought about it the more hated the idea about asking a question in open class. They never cared to explain before. Maybe they just wanted to make fun of him. Yeah right, like the Prankster King was ever going to fall for such a lame ass move.

"No, I don't have any questions."

Some of the students laughed or whispered among themselves. The instructor frowned for a moment before continuing with the lesson.

Sasori never made fun of him for not knowing something or frowned at him like that. Instead, he dropped whatever he was doing and sat down with Naruto at his office desk. He explained things, going back to make sure Naruto understood what he had explained. It was not boring like when the Instructors droned on about this and that. Sasori had all sorts of cool stories which he used in his explainations. Even history, the most mind numbing subject that Naruto knew, could be cool when Sasori explained it to him.

"By cutting of the land of Water from the rice farms in the land of Fire, the Sandaime Hokage drove the export of rice underground, and thus.."

"Underground ?" asked Naruto.

"Through illegal or secret means." explained Sasori, without missing a beat.

"But then how did he stop the trade ?"

"Through an agreement with the local Yakuza clans. They would sabotage the supplies and ships, and if they could not, they would alert the Konoha ninja to intercept them."

Naruto was spellbound; who knew the Old Man was connected to the Yakuza!

"What happened next ?"

"Because their supplies and ships kept getting sabotaged, Water was forced to assign ninja to guard both. Thanks to the agreement with the Yakuza, Konoha ninja were informed beforehand and had time to set up ambushes for the Mist ninja."

It was not just boring stuff like Mr so and so did blah blah, which cause blah blah, or that Kage did this and that. Sasori told the stories like he had actually been there!

It made the hairs on his arms stand up and his palms sweat as he listened to Sasori stor – explainations.

There were secret plots, intrigue, double crosses, agreements made in the dead of night, princesses and princes, different Kage, eccentric daimyo, samurai generals, gangsters, assassins, fishermen, monks and nuns, different tribes and peoples, diplomats, farmers and merchants and so many more.

History came alive with people with the men and women who lived it. There was one guy, Takumi Chiba, who started out as a tinker from the land of Grass, who went to become a tailor in the Land of Frost, before enlisting in the Lightning army as a soldier; all the while he was secretly a spy for Fire. Naruto's eyes nearly exploded when Sasori told him about how the man had helped change the course Third Shinobi World War.

A world war, where everyone was fighting everyone else; that sounded like the super epic big boss scene in the comics where the bad guy wanted to destroy the world!

And Sasori did just know a lot of history and stuff about the land of Fire, he even knew a lot of things about the other countries too.

Like how the Earth Daimyo had attacked the monasteries and temples, because he was afraid of the taijutsu skills of the monks and nuns, whom he thought would launch a revolution against him, and so, with a secret deal and some traitors, he had his armies sneak up and attack all the temples and monasteries, all at the same time on the same day! Out of the carnage, only five elders had managed to escape, along with a few of their disciples to make it to the Land of Fire where they had founded what was now the Five Fire Temples.

Or that the land of Water was a mix between various fishing tribes and criminals banished to the far islands, away from everyone else; even today, there were rumors of pirate towns and secret underwater bases. Why, Sasori had heard of an entire community of people that lived underwater, part of an ancient civilization that had once ruled the world before something mysterious happened to them. Nowadays, if you dived deep down, where the light of the sun started to fail and the darkness of the deep started to envelop everything, you could find old ruins and who knew what was inside those. Maybe monsters like the giant squid or something. That really raised the hairs on Naruto's neck.

There were strange tribes that wandered around the desert in the Land of Wind, living a 'nomadic' lifestyle. Even in the desert, with so much sand that it stretched from one end of the sky to another, there was a sea there, but it was no ordinary sea, this sea had water so filled with salt, that if you swam in it, you would float right to the top. But that was not even the strangest about it. In the deep desert, far away from everything, the desert people used water to trade, buy and sell instead of paper money or gold and silver coins.

"But why would they use water as money ?" asked Naruto, eyes round, face rapt with attention.

"Well, because in the desert, water is very important, there is even a religious aspect to it. There is a common saying that from Wind that goes like this, 'Come three days in the desert and you will find that not even all the world's gold can change what a cup of water can'." Sasori explained sagely.

At Naruto's expression, he went on. "Do you remember the story I told you about the rich man, lost in the desert ?"

Immediately, the light-bulb came on. "Oh, he couldn't eat because all he had were coins and gems."

"Correct. If you are thirsty, you can't very well start drinking your money or clothes, hmm ?"

"Well, yeah." answered Naruto, and when the older boy said he was correct, he kind of liked that, it made him feel smart.

Sasori even understood the weird math stuff where you put X here and Y there. Then he said they needed a 'protractor' to measure degrees. All this math stuff was very boring at first, since if he counted even a single digit wrong, that would make everything else wrong. One day Naruto scored a eighty-seven percent on the test in the back of a maths workbook he had, suddenly, it was not so bad. The more he worked at it and just followed the formulas (duh!) the better he became. Besides, the better he got at maths, the more time he got to spend in the shop going over figures ( which was cake ) instead of going over document runs.

Naruto grimaced. When Sasori had explained it at first, it seemed so easy. Surely nothing like delivering documents could he hard right ?

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.

.

"What are you doing here, runt ?" asked the large man behind the counter.

Naruto fished around inside the bag Sasori had given him and eventually found the papers. "I'm here to submit these forms!" He piped, waving the scrunched up forms in his hand.

"Get in line." said the man belligerently.

"I am in line!" Naruto answered hotly. He lined up with all the other people and had been waiting for the last fifteen minutes. Fifteen whole minutes spent standing around; it was forever times by eternity! Had the manager guy not been around, talking to some lady, all the while trying to stare down her dress, Naruto would have been seriously bored.

If there was one thing he loved more than pranking idiots, it was watching people make fools of themselves.

"Well, go get a number from the lady over there and wait till your turn is called. You need to be in that line." The man said, pointing to another, even longer line across the hall.

Fuming, Naruto went and after answering some stupid question from the lady with the ticker, got a number and went to queue up. Eighteen minutes later...

"I'm sorry, but the Konoha wood permit B forms are to be sent over to counter twelve." said the lady behind the counter once she had glanced at the forms Naruto presented to her.

"But that guy just.."

"Please submit these forms to counter twelve. Thank you." said the lady, ignoring Naruto's outburst, before pressing a button which made a beep. "Next!"

It seemed like Sasori had to submit forms to every stupid office in town. Tax for this, tax for that, loan application from the bank, letters to the Konoha Newspaper about advertisement, catalogs of inventory to be delivered to the homes of various ninja, replies back from EVERYBODY.

He was beginning to see why the Old Man hated paperwork. It was taking over the world!

Entering the shade of the shop, Naruto found that he was really hating some of those places. Paperwork, the kind Sasori had him doing anyway, seemed pretty simple; go there, hand in these forms or letters, get a receipt or proof of acceptance, then go on to the next stop and repeat the process. Occasionally he had to receive documents from the officers, where he had to sign to prove that he had taken possession of documents.

It was kind of nice, seeing all these places which he had never known where there. All the people seemed so stuck in their work; go here, go there, stamp this, write this. Always rush rush rush. It was a whole world that Naruto had never known about. The Office World.

What was not nice was waiting in queues and the stupid pranks the clerks tried to play on him.

It was getting to the point that Naruto hated postal runs, almost as much as he hated Sasuke for acting so cool in front of Sakura.

Dropping his bag behind the counter, Naruto switched on the fan and began thumbing through an action novel Sasori had gotten for him. Reading was kind of lame at first, but the queues were long and he had nothing better to do. Besides, this thing had epic battles and if there was one thing Naruto loved, it was Epic Battles between bad guys and good guys.

-_ The Shogun,_ _seeing_ _that His son, Aku, had so callously murdered the brave man defending him, realized that His son was utterly lost to Him. Gathering up His psychic might, He directed it at Aku. Before the Arch Traitor could react, the Shogun used His powers to scourge the very soul, wiping even the echo of it from the Empyrean. In so doing, the Shogun broke the thrall of the Dark Powers, shattering the Curse they had called down on His beloved land. The Dark Powers, their tether to this world broken, were rent asunder by the..._-

The bell above the door jingled as the door was opened.

Looking up, he saw a jounin wearing glasses come in. Some backpacks caught his eye. "Hey, shopkeeper, how much weight can these things..." He asked, turning towards the counter.

Naruto stared blankly at the jounin.

"Oh. I'm sorry, I must have the wrong.."

The man was already out of the door before he could finish the sentence.

"I thought I heard the doorbell ring. Did anyone come in ?" came Sasori's voice, drifting up from the workshop.

Hands wound tight around the action novel, Naruto answered stiffly. "No, it was just me."

"Oh, that's strange. I wonder why we have not had any customers yet. Hmm, well maybe its because the shop is just not popular yet. Anyway, give me a call if someone comes in."

"...su..Sure thing." answered Naruto tightly, struggling to keep his breathing even as his mind raced, out of control with its newest thought. Was it because of _him_, that Ichiraku's was not doing well ? Was it because of him that Ayame-chan and the uncle Teuchi couldn't make it big in the ra...

When Sasori heard a pained gasp followed by the jarred ring of the doorbell, he smiled to himself before he went back to his work.

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Before Naruto knew it, November had ended and it was December; time for the end of year exams, which Iruka had made a point of reminding him was coming in front of the whole class so that they could laugh at him. _Bastard._

Naruto started flipping through the paper; page one had a history question divided into five subsections, pages two and three covered different ciphers that he had to crack to find the message. Some math segments, followed by four different essays, two on history, the other two had a selection of topics which he could write about. Some multiple choice stuff before ending with a map on the last page with some notes about the weather and season; Naruto needed to write directions and draw a route, providing reasons for both in his essay.

After sitting through a few exams, Naruto started cutting them. Book stuff was boring; all the heroes he had seen in the comics did nothing but fight the big boss of the week, so why would being Hokage be any different ?

When he had explained this to Sasori, the older boy had – in typical fashion – given him a serious dressing down before having Naruto go through some tests in his, largely unused, workbooks. Despite how much his head hurt and how much the older boy complained about his calligraphy, they had – just – completed three tests in one afternoon.

Sasori said that these tests were pathetically easy. He was going to be Hokage right ? Well the Hokage would definitely ace the tests. Naruto did not complain so much when he realized that doing the workbook tests meant less document and letter runs for him.

In typical fashion, Sasori had removed the answer sheets – damn him! - and graded them himself. Naruto was free to contest his assessment at any time. So they debated about this and that after going over the tests, fixing mistakes as they discussed answers. Soon, Sasori had some of his own workbooks for Naruto to practice on, so everyday, he completed two mock tests and Sasori helped him grade them.

No way was he motivated – even in the slightest – by Sasori's promise of a twelve scoop triple decked chocolate fudge ice cream with banana slices and melted marshmallows. Nevertheless, Naruto ploughed on. He had found the strength within to persevere in the face of the triple dec - adversity.

Soon, Naruto was working to complete mock tests, quizzes and puzzles that Sasori gave him to get 'Ramen Points'; if Naruto collected enough points, he could get sweets, hotcakes, ice cream and even something from the shop, if he had enough points. Right now, he had his eye on a cool black katana, because most of the heroes he read about had a cool black katana or two. Seriously, who didn't ?

Through all this, Naruto never wondered why Sasori had so much time for him.

But it was really nice that someone did.

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"Go over the paper again."

"I've _triple checked_ it already.

"Well,_ triple check_ it again, asshole. No way, the Retard managed to pass, never mind ace, a written test."

"I'm telling you -"

"Give that here."

Marking papers was the bane of every teacher, it was like an angst fest on steroids; scrawled writing, unidentifiable words, smart ass answers, plain stupid ones, misspellings, little notes or smiley faces asking for extra marks or leniency, wandering paragraphs and arguments that went no where, cheating by various students, plagiarism on some parts, and parents who would throw a hissy fit asking why their children had received bad marks.

It was a nightmare.

Which is why, whenever papers had to be marked, the teachers of the Konoha Genin Academy usually started with the easy ones; in the case of class 403, that meant Naruto's paper, which was usually blank or just filled with bullshit that you could cross out in big swathes of red ink.

Just as Shinsain had uncapped a new red pen – Naruto's papers had a way of devouring red ink – the teacher had given his paper a cursory read ( Naruto little comic explanation strips could be mildly amusing at times ), but what he had read on the paper stunned him. Rechecking the name on the paper, he started reading.

And reading.

And reading.

Not only had the 'Retard' written something meaningful on his paper, the answers showed that he had put some thought into his answers. Spirits above, _original thought_ from Naruto of all people ?

Half an hour in, he was forced to conclude that not only had Naruto passed; if not for some of the opinions he had expressed in his essays, he might have scored even higher. When he had handed it over to the second examiner, the teacher's lounge had experienced their version of a ten point oh earthquake. Suddenly everyone found the time to stop marking their own papers and weight in on the hot potato that had shook the teacher's lounge to its very core.

"That's impossible."

"As far as I can tell its solid."

"And he did not cheat ?"

"Please, that trouble-maker sitting still for three hours straight ? I had one eye on him the entire time. No way was I getting a water balloon thrown at me during..."

"He must have cheated."

"I'm telling you, he was marked the whole time. Sachi, Mizuno and me all had the eyeball, no way he..."

"Maybe he did not cheat bu -"

A loud snort.

"Hear me out. We all know he can get around. What if he broke into the lounge and got a peek at the marking scheme ? Don't give me that look Sachi-chan, he may be stupid but when he puts his mind to -"

"That could explain the multiple choice, maths segments and ciphers but what about the essays. Seriously, listen to this..."

Outside the teacher's lounge, Naruto backed away from the door. Sasori's offer letter to the Academy crumpled in his hand.

Carefully, he straightened the letter out and put it between the pages of his large history textbook, using a bit of string, he tied the book down, pressing the letter in between the pages. Sasori had given him hell when he received a complaint stating that Naruto could not be bothered to keep official documents in good condition.

It was late.

Yeah. That was it. They were just teachers, he should deliver the le -

He could deliver it tomorrow, to someone.

Naruto couldn't face the teachers, he'd just drop it with the secretary and...

Running now, Naruto left the Academy behind in blur.

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Sasori frowned as he watched Naruto attacking the target range. The torn shreds of his workbooks and mock tests littered the floor.

He had shown Naruto how to rig a simple system where he could get the targets to move one weekend and the boy had loved it. With some pride, he noted that Naruto weapons had come closer to the target centers; he still had some trouble moving targets, but if he put in more work, he'd get used to judging the distance, seeing the target progression of movement in his mind and thus anticipating the its future position.

Thunk.

A kunai landed just shy of the center ring.

With a cry of rage, Naruto attacked the pulley on the ground; the rope got cut, the target logs came crashing down and everything descended into chaos. After the dust settled, he sported some pretty nasty bruises. Naruto started kicking the logs and when he hurt his foot, picked up his school bag, threw it down, picked it up and gave it a good thrashing. Tearing the bag apart, he tore the pages out of his books and tried to start a fire to burn them all.

When that failed, Naruto carefully parked himself deep in the undergrowth and out of sight, started crying, rocking himself back and forth as he mumbled things Sasori could not hear.

Despite his attitude to the contrary, Naruto had a deep seated desire to not only be accepted by his peers but by the Konoha officialdom; though he may have disliked the teachers, he, himself had always yearned to realize a half forgotten dream of getting good marks on a test.

With all the practice on the mocks, not to mention Sasori's guiding hand spurring him to complete similar tests, getting high marks was practically a sure thing.

Sasori had wanted to shock both Naruto and the Teachers, while simultaneously providing the Jinchuriki with the impetus to break away from the Academy and whoever the Hokage had installed there to watch over Naruto; the culmination of his three month sub-campaign to denigrate and disparage the Academy Teachers in Naruto eyes.

But perhaps he had been a little too successful in that regard.

One week later and Naruto did not want to study, work at the shop or build his Ramen Points towards the black katana that Sasori had shown him.

Clenching his hands, Sasori cursed softly. He had rushed things. His timetable was set for years, not yet three months on the job and the boy was already eagerly following Sasori's every command. He had been right, the boy craved a stable, nurturing relationship and the lack of any true parental figure in his life had not helped matters, but...

...not only had Naruto been too pliable, the boy was just too _intense._

He was growing, alright; Sasori had not spent countless hours enduring his vapid personality just to let the boy stagnate.

But now that he had a 'friend' who pushed him to excel academically, Naruto focused his energies into just that; all night studying, completing mock exams by the booklet, working hard at the target range, completing his shop work ahead of schedule. And while Naruto was by no means a genius, he was brilliantly creative and innovative. Since Sasori listened his thoughts, Naruto had really started exploring his ideas; while some were stupid beyond reason, Sasori had to admit, some had forced him to rethink his own position.

But all that was in jeopardy now.

With his ten year old mind in chaos, Sasori could not be sure if some of the ill will that was generated would blow back on him for awakening Naruto to the realities of the world around him.

Sasori was not worried for Naruto.

Oh no. The Jinchuriki boy was just another puppet under Sasori's fingers, dancing to his tune.

He was worried about the possible blow back because he not afford to alienate the Jinchuriki at this stage; trust was like a rare flower, so hard to care for, yet so easy to destroy.

However unlikely it might be, if Naruto identified _Sasori_ as the cause of his current heartache, well, the last three months would just be time wasted.

Watching Naruto, Sasori was forced to admit that he might have overplayed his hand. Nevertheless, the was no use in crying over split blood. Since Naruto had reacted like this, Sasori would just accelerate his own timetable.

Now, to be a good mentor and help Naruto channel his energies into more productive areas...

With Phase One was complete, Sasori had gained access to his target's ground; it was time that he advance and kill off the pawns, freeing up the path towards the King.

Time to plant more seeds in that soft little head of his.

.

.

.

Like many of the other Major villages, Konoha was a village in name only. With its sprawling buildings, the place could have passed as a major city. In fact, it was said you could not possibly know everyone in Konoha; coming from a small village, Mr Nikuya had found this hard to believe at first, since he had known everywhere where he had lived.

Six months down the road, Nikuya was a believer. The were crowds of people, almost a sea of them. Thanks to the good roads and constant patrols, travel around Konoha was not only extremely safe, it was actually pretty easy with all the small booths and rest stops here and there. So whenever market day or a festival day came around, it seemed like the whole of the Fire nation showed up at Konoha for the noisy stalls. Children running everywhere in paper ANBU masks, chasing one another. There was din of noise as sellers advertised their wares and people talked about this and that.

But, if there was one exception to the rule, it was Uzumaki Naruto.

Everyone knew about the blond haired devil child which ran wild on the streets.

Even as he brought down his cleaver on a chicken, Nikuya made sure to keep one eye on the blond haired kid with the strange whisker marked cheeks. His usual stupid smile gone, in its place a focused look.

Why did that kid have to make a nuisance of himself anyway ?

Everywhere he went, trouble was sure to follow. No matter what anyone said or did, the kid was not sent to an orphanage or locked up in the juvenile prison, which would have probably done a world of good for the kid, Nikuya thought to himself. The punk may have only been a kid, but he was the most rambunctious tyke he had ever known. Always involved in some stupid scheme. It was things like this which keep the rumors alive that he was some bastard of the Sarutobi clan that Hiruzen or someone else had fathered in secret with a whore. Why else would it be that the boy seemed untouchable by the village laws ?

Not that Nikuya spent his time listening to and spreading rumors. Rumor-mongering was the crass behavior of uneducated louts and wives who had nothing better to do all day but gossip, gossip, gossip, letting the housework go undone. Well not for Nikuya, he was a good, honest, hardworking man.

Still, he had to admit, the kid seemed to have the fortune of the Seven Gods themselves, all the shit he got himself in and then out of on a daily basis. _'Would mind having just a little bit of that luck myself._'

Well, now that he thought about it, the kid had sort of stopped his pranks lately. But that just meant he was saving up for some real mayhem. It was like having a wasp in a room, Nikuya thought, things were marginally better when you knew where it was. When you did not know where the wasp was...

...that was when you got stung.

The boy had disappeared into the crowd in front of the stage where the Taiko drums were being set up, just down the way was where the sumo were...

When he heard the firecrackers go off and saw people rushing this way and that like headless chickens, Nikuya had already thrown the covers over his cuts and was halfway to the nearest Konoha police booth.

.

.

.

Umino Iruka sighed as he stared into the expectant sea of faces.

He had really tried to reach Naruto, but the more he tried, the more Naruto pushed him away. It had gotten to the point that Iruka was starting to wonder this was not just some childish fit but that Naruto actually _hated_ him and the other teachers.

Not that Naruto made his case any easier with his stupid pranks; the boy had been seen in the vicinity of every zone where chaos and confusion had occurred and the only homes vandalized happened to be the homes of teachers that dealt with Naruto.

Oiled piglets let loose, firecrackers set off in the middle of various crowds, water-balloons filled with dyed water falling like rain everywhere, drinks spiked with alcohol, a bee's nest inside the men's toilet and a whole box of spiders in the ladies's toilet, shops vandalized with large painted flowers, soap put into the fish tanks, the Hokage Monument defaced, and a sewage pipe breaking the same time as the surrounding tunnel was so conveniently blocked. Ugh, Iruka could still smell the stink every time he thought of it.

When they had hauled Naruto in, the boy had been adamant that he had nothing to do with any of the pranks. And well, Iruka was trying to believe him, but as a teacher in charge of dealing with little children, Iruka knew that, contrary to popular belief, they could make some pretty fine liars.

Still, that was neither here or there. Security Section had let Naruto go because there was evidence that he had been elsewhere at the time the pranks occurred; which meant someone was purposely framing Naruto to drag his name through the mud unless Naruto had actually fooled them into believing he was innocent.

'_Why couldn't anything be simple with Naruto ?',_ Iruka tiredly wondered to himself. Looking down at the next paper to be returned, he felt the knot in his gut grow.

"Uzumaki Naruto, eighty nine percent. Please come collect your paper."

.

.

.

"And then, because of that, Sakura accused _me_ of cheating on the exam! Kiba, that bastard, he..." Naruto paused as he took in another breath to fuel his rant.

"Naruto, give it a rest." Sasori cut in, still working to repair the flak vest on the table in front of him. "You have vented for the last forty five minutes. End it. Now."

Naruto stared at Sasori, flabbergasted.

"From your expression, I suspect that you feel deeply betrayed."

Hands clenched, Naruto felt his heart stammer. Was Sasori going to make fun of him now ?

"Rest easy, Naruto. Far be it from me to _needlessly_ mock you."

Naruto felt...he did not know what he felt.

"However, it is time you turned your attentions to the people around you, such as your schoolmates and your interactions with them."

What the hell. This was supposed to be about that the pranks and the exam and that idiot Kiba and...Well, they had started out with those bastard teachers had accused him, falsely, of setting off the firecrackers...

"It seems like Sakura, as always, is causing you some trouble."

"NO!" Naruto shook his head, trying to get himself under control; Sasori really hated it if he shouted, he needed to...

"Minus fifteen Ramen Points."

Naruto stared at Sasori in horror.

"If you want to keep breaking the Rules, please feel free."

"..."

"Now, after countless hours of listening to your endless soliloquies about her, its apparent that you feel betrayed by Sakura. After all, you like her, right ?"

Well, even if it was not very cool to well, 'like' girls, because most of them were well, 'girls', Naruto really did like Sakura. Looking up at Sasori, Naruto wanted to nod, but he felt embarrassed.

"So her accusing you of cheating on the exam, all because you scored one point higher than her, must hurt pretty bad."

"She just..."

Sasori sighed. "When will you get it through that thick head of yours that you are better off without her ?"

"I lov – like her." Naruto fumed, getting angry even though he knew he should keep a cool head when talking with Sasori.

"Do you _lov – like_ her still," began Sasori, putting emphasis on Naruto's fumbled words. "..even after she accused you, unfairly, I might add, of cheating on the exam ? We both know how much hard work you put into completing the mocks."

"...She was just confuse-" said Naruto, trying to defend Sakura.

"Like how she is confused about our _dearest,_ Sasuke ?" retorted Sasori.

"..."

"If you truly loved her, then you would accept her for who is she, not for some made up person in your mind. Face it, Naruto, she likes Sasuke who..."

"Is a Bastard! He's acts so arrogant and does not care about Sakura _at all_."

"Really ?"

"_Really._" answered Naruto.

"And this is your final assessment ?"

"Yea -" Naruto managed to stop before he spat the whole thing out; whenever Sasori asked him a question like that, it meant a curve ball. But, as the silence dragged on, Naruto just not see what angle Sasori's counter might come from. Staring up, he met Sasori's expectant gaze.

"Yeah, it is."

"Conviction, very good, Naruto. So, you have already considered what Sakura might see in Sasuke ?"

Naruto stared into Sasori's brown eyes. "There is nothing to see, he is a cold, arrogant prick who is too good to play with me and Kiba or any..."

"Apart from the fact that he the last of a famous clan, is extraordinarily gifted in the shinobi arts himself, is financially well off and has past steeped in tragedy ? Perhaps he is nothing more than a wounded child inside, whose heart was broken and now, fears letting anyone in again because he has had it all taken away before. Now he needs someone special to mend his broken hear-"

'THIS IS NOT SOME ROMANCE NOVEL!"

"Minus thirty Ramen Points."

Naruto almost screamed. Sasori gave him a cool glance over his glasses.

Counting backwards, from _one thousand_, the young boy just managed to get his temper under control.

"You have to admit, Sasuke is a dead ringer for the lead spot of romance novel." said the older boy breezily.

Naruto giggled and the tension was broken.

"Tell me, just how many 'friends' do you have Naruto ?" asked Sasori.

"Well, there's Chouji, Shikamaru, Kiba and Sakura!" answered Naruto easily.

"Did Chouji, Shikamaru or Kiba stand up for you when you were accused of cheating on the exam ?"

"...n..No."

"As for Sakura, unless you have a fetish for masochism, which she, as a sadist, happily supplies you with.."

Red faced now. "Its not like that!"

"I just wonder why you feel inclined to 'like' a girl who hits you."

How could he explain that Sakura was just...well, he had protected her, even though she did not seem to remember it.

"I can see it now: twenty years down the line, you show up at my doorstep, battered and bruised, whilst she has traded you in for a younger model."

"Ewwww!" Naruto hit his face with his palms as he made a gagging sound. Those stupid magazines he had used to create his Sexy Jutsu really did rot the mind.

Sasori started chuckling at Naruto's antics, which earned him a baleful glare from behind the young boy's fingers.

"In any case, none of your 'friends' defended you in the schoolyard ?"

Well, no one had right ?

"..Ye..Yeah."

"That doesn't seem very friendly to me." Sasori said sagely and suddenly, at that moment, it did pretty bad; did Naruto have any real friends at all?

"Are you acquainted with others in your class ?" queried the shopkeeper.

"No, they are all _stupid_ and _weird_, besides, they don't like me." answered Naruto softly, trying to count how many friends he really did have.

"Is that how the instructors treated you ?"

"..." Shamefaced, the jinchuriki looked away.

"Do not judge a book by its cover, Naruto, in fact, don't leap to conclusions, lest others do the same on you." warned Sasori, his voice sharp.

"But what should I sa -"

"That reminds me, aren't the school holidays coming up?"

Naruto stared at Sasori. What did that have to do with anything! His world had just come crashing down and now they were talking about the holidays?!

"Well, you could always..."

_._

_._

_._

The ring of a bell was followed by a chorus of "Yay's" and the sound of chairs being pushed back. "Alright, Class, remember to complete your holidays assignments, I'll see you all next year, don't forget! Dismissed." said the teacher as he gathered up his materials and left for some much needed down time.

As an Aburame, Shino had been warned by several of his clansmen that Academy could be trying.

His Sire, uncles, aunts, the older Aburame children, even the Queen of his branch family had spared a moment to warn him about it and what he should do. Though he had listened attentively, at the back of his mind, Shino wondered if the whole thing was being blown out of proportion.

he had enjoyed the first week of Academy. He enjoyed the classes and meeting new people. The Academy was bright, noisy and something was always going on. It was the complete opposite of the land his clan occupied; under the darkness of the dense foliage, the ground moist and air filled with the constant buzzing of insects, something only made worse with the use of his Clan's cant.

It was a week before the other children learnt that he was an Aburame. So they came over and asked for him to show them his kikaichu, surprised at this, Shino had complied.

When they started pulling off the legs and wings of his kikai and then flicking them when could they not escape, Shino had not only been shocked, he had been so angry that he had punched the another boy and started a big fight.

His first month at school and already he had been sent home with a reprimand and list of demerits. It burned him.

Even though he had kept to himself, word got around that his whole body was filled with 'creepy crawlies', something Kiba had laughingly called 'fleas'. How he wished to repay him in kind and call Akamaru a mongrel despite his purebred status. Thankfully, he already had Naruto for that. For someone who claimed to be pretty tough, Kiba had really thin skin when it came to Akamaru.

As for the rest of the class; nobody wanted to sit next to a 'bug's nest'. The instructors, having seen it all before, tried their best to include him in activities, but Shino found it more and more easier to fade into the background and not make waves like some of his other classmates seemed determined to. With other, more boisterous students, the teachers began devoting more attention to them.

It was nothing, Shino reminded himself. This too, will pass, in time.

Fast forward ten and a half months, he felt exhausted as he sat at the back of the classroom, packing up his bags after another tiring day at the Academy. And to think, he had two more years of this. Shino decided that he just might go insane.

The time before him seemed impossible.

A shadow fell across him, looking up, Shino saw Naruto, self styled as the Prankster King of the World. Given the scale of his last 'prank', perhaps he could actually lay claim to the title.

"I was wondering, uh, would like to join my study group and train together?"

Naruto's face split into a large grin.

Shino stared back from behind his dark glasses, uncertain if he had heard that right; nobody had ever asked _him_ to join their clique.

"Well?" Naruto asked expectantly.

"I'm sorry, what did you want?" asked the Aburame boy, unsure if he had _already_ gone mad.

That seemed to deflate the blond a little.

"I'm..uh making a study group for...stuff. I'll help you with the assignments, if, you know, would you come train with me ?" Naruto repeated, a lot more nervously.

"You are forming study group and want to train together?" asked Shino with a touch of incredulity.

"Yeah!" exclaimed Naruto happily. "I got this super secret training ground hidden away. I've rigged it up with moving targets and stuff. Wanna train?"

Perhaps Naruto had not cheated on that exam, or maybe he had already acquired the answers for the assignments. Either way, this was the first such offer that Shino had ever received and well, a full range would only take an hour. School was out, and frankly, Shino had been dying to figure out how Naruto had aced the test.

"Sure. These targets..."

"Cool, grab your kunai and shuriken sets and follow me!"

Before Shino could say another word, Naruto was already whooping with joy and dashing for the door. "Keep up, slowpoke!" He called, already two rows down.

Shino scrambled after him.

* * *

*Update 17/07/12 - fixed the typos. Thanks for pointing them out.


	3. Building Dreams

AN: Kishimoto Masashi is the ninja in the shadows.

* * *

Holiday assignments were the bane of every student.

It was the ultimate expression of teacher spite; assigning work for the holidays, when people were supposed to be free, not shackled to a desk, enduring the drudgery of homework.

At least, that was how Naruto's ten year old mind characterized it.

Ever since Naruto had fallen asleep reading his first holiday assignment, he had given up on them and just left them undone.

After all, it was the holidays, having to do homework during them was sacrilege against the spirit of the holidays; people should be running around or doing stuff, not cooped up inside, reading words until they became blurry.

Besides, worst come to worst, he could always just crib off Shikamaru's answers like Kiba always seemed to do, the week before school started again.

Plonking his bag down on the counter-top, Naruto took out the large file binder which seemed to be filled to the brim with paper. Colored tags at the edges marked the different sections. Just holding it seemed to make the file heavier and heavier. In fact, the longer he held it, the more he began to suspect that this was some fool's errand; this piece of homework could not possibly ever be completed by any student. It was cursed. Cursed! Anyone who opened it would be doomed to work in homework land forever.

Naruto's dread vanished the moment he went over it.

There were lots of math segments, a tonne of history essays about the Second Shinobi World War, half of which were tied into the Econs page about the export and import of rice with other vital goods. There was some civic stuff about the Twelve Konoha Laws and what you should do as part of your civic duty. The final segment was comprised off Community Service and a couple of different holiday camps for Taijutsu, Weapons, Genjutsu and Ninjutsu.

Naruto reread that section again in surprise.

The holiday camps with combat stuff were set for the coming February and March. Attendance was not mandatory, but it would give them extra merit points. Why had he never heard about these things ?

Feeling uneasy, he opted to just deal with that later. Writing a note to himself in big bold words, Naruto stuffed it into the front right pocket of his jumpsuit, along with a small sweet. That would definitely help him remember. Grinning at his cunning solution, Naruto continued with his work.

First things first; Sasori had taught him to break problems down into bite size portions.

Naruto got out a notepad and started to making plans, as he made a timetable for himself as he allotted his between the shop, work with Shino and the super secret ultra training ground.

From what he read, the bulk of the assignments was so mind numbingly boring that he briefly wondered if anyone went insane from just reading it. At least it was no harder than the everyday office work he did, mentally squashing thoughts about how the books would come alive as Flesh Seeking Zombie Books.

Grinning, he remembered that since he had started doing the shop's accounts, Sasori had let him use his cool abacus to do the figures. Well, that just meant he could use the shop stationary. There would be plenty of paper to draw doodl - write rough drafts on.

The bell above the door rang softly, breaking the silence.

As they had agreed on the day before, Shino would come around every afternoon around one, just after lunch.

After pouring the still steaming tea he had prepared into two nice cups, Naruto went out to greet Shino.

The boys worked in the break-room of Sasori's shop. Since they had the office supplies and stationary to complete everything, there was extra paper to draw pictu – work out lots rough drafts in detail. Yeah, that was it.

Fourteen not so boring – but kind of fun – afternoon's later, and Naruto had helped Shino polish his final essays.

Closing the file binders, they went out and bought some shaved ice with honey and cream from a street vendor to celebrate.

Sipping some cold lime juice, Naruto looked down the list of suggested services; there was the Inuzuka kennels, a Nara ranch where they keep deer, a couple of orchards operated by the Hyuuga, some restaurants and street stalls owned by the Akimichi*...

The asterisk next to the Akimichi name had a small note beneath it. It read: 'Extra hands will be needed because of the upcoming New Year's Festival. Please submit your name to Sachiko-sensei at the earlier possible convenience. Places will be allotted on a...'

Something seemed a bit off about this list.

Scanning further down the list, Naruto frowned.

That could not be right.

Sasori had said community service was something you did for society, but this list seemed more like work for this clan or that clan during the holidays than society as a whole.

Well, at least these jobs seemed better than picking up trash.

Grimacing at the memory of the schoolyard showdown, Naruto decided that he should write off most of the list.

Still, Sasori had said it was time to meet new people and well...

"Hey, Shino?" asked Naruto tentatively.

Shino sipped the last drops of juice in his cup through his straw before replying. "Yeah?"

"Whats an apiary?"

The other boy suddenly stilled. "Uh...its kind of like a farm, but for bees. Its where we harvest honey from." said Shino finally.

"Oh. Well," Naruto hesitated for a second, wondering if he had something wrong. "I was just wondering, you, uh, wanna do community service there?"

Shino was staring at him, making Naruto feel uncomfortable.

"I was just thinking, you know, since you have kikai, well, uhh, would you mind if I joined you there?" Naruto winced once he had finished. He sounded like an idiot.

"Oh, uh. Ok, sure." answered Shino hesitantly.

Neither boy spoke for a few minutes.

"You...don't mind my kikai?" Shino asked softly.

"Well, I think its kind of cool." admitted Naruto.

"Cool?" This was the first such sentiment that Shino had heard from an outsider.

"Yeah!" exclaimed Naruto exuberantly, a grin lighting up his face. "Just think!" He was waving his arms now. "You could scare all the girls in the class by just making buzzing sounds or you could cause some real chaos by putting a wasp or something in the bathrooms."

Shino chuckled as Naruto continued to elaborate how he could his bugs to prank people, the schemes growing ever larger and more elaborate as they progressed.

By the time they had finished the second round of drinks, Naruto was trying to convince Shino to fill the girl's bathroom at the Academy with spiders during recess.

.

.

Following the directions on the back of the Academy pamphlet, the boys spent two hours walking through sparse woods and grasslands, passing a variety of fruit orchards and flower fields along the road.

Even though they had set out from Konoha at seven that morning, it was nearly ten o'clock before they arrived at the their destination.

In front of the main office, an old woman in a white, high collared hoodie was speaking with the Hokage. Whatever it was, it sounded to Naruto like they were arguing.

Just as he convinced Shino that they should get closer to hear what they were saying – because grown ups said all kinds of things they were not supposed – the Hokage turned towards where Naruto and Shino were crouching.

"Looking to gather a little secret information, Naruto?" asked the old Hokage genially.

Naruto just grinned, arms behind his back. "No way, gramps! We were just minding our own business." He tried to go for the innocent look.

"Oh, we?" asked Sarutobi with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, come on, Shino."

Shino looked up reverently at the old Hokage, who had served Konoha for nearly fourty years and weathered a thousand storms that could have each crushed lesser men.

The few times Shino had seen the Hokage, it had always been at a distance, usually when he was delivering some speech on the podium in the Academy assembly hall, or in some public venue.

Up close, his robes were pristine as ever. His skin was leathery with wrinkles, callouses and what Shino thought was a couple of faded scars on his hands. There seemed to be a sort of...peace about him. A calm stillness. He met Shino's gaze steadily and smiled in a grandfatherly way that made Shino instantly like him.

He was also a lot shorter than Shino had imagined.

No doubt something many of his opponents had also thought, just before they had meet their death at his hands, Shino thought as he bowed low, greeting the Hokage in formal tones.

Chuckling, Sarutobi returned his greeting. "Perhaps we can address each other in more conversational tones, I was stretching my legs a bit when I decided to come over and see things for myself. That reminds me, you boys here for your community service?" asked Sarutobi curiously.

"Oh yeah!" exclaimed Naruto loudly before Shino could answer. "We're gonna harvest lots of bees!"

"Why, Naruto, I never thought I'd see you eager to complete some work. Makes me wonder if you don't have some ulterior motive?" asked Sarutobi jokingly.

Naruto face was blank for a moment before he stared up suspiciously at the Hokage. "Have you been spying on me again, Old Man?"

"Of course not, Naruto. I was just passing by a local street vendor the other day, on my way to get a drink when I overhead a voice detailing some plan to give everyone in some teacher's lounge a stomachache of, and here I quote, 'epic proportions'." replied Sarutobi with knowing smile.

"Oh. Heheheh." Naruto scratched the back of his head guiltily.

Sarutobi reached into his robes and brought out small yellow canister. "Here you go, Naruto. This spray will make the bees drowsy and hesitant to attack in case you cause too much ruckus. You can get you gear from that building over there." He pointed at another building across the yard, where Mizuno-sensei was sitting behind a desk in the shade, talking to some people in high collared outfits.

"Torune will explain what you can do to help out." continued Sarutobi as a tall man, completely covered in black gear stepped forwards from behind the Hokage. He had a Konoha headband over a mask that covered all but his lower face.

Naruto jumped back at his appearance. He could have sworn that no one was standing there just a moment ago. Looking at his hands, Naruto saw that he was wearing the same kind of gloves that ANBU usually wore. _'Cool._' Thought Naruto as Torune smiled down at him and Shino. He seemed like a nice guy.

"Lets go get you suited up, Naruto. If you will follow me, I'll explain what we need to do." said Torune in a friendly tone, motioning for them to follow him.

Smiling now, Sarutobi said "Run along, kids. It is still early in the day and there is lots of work to be done."

"Hehe, just you wait, Old Man, I'm going to get that Hat eventually!" replied Naruto cheekily, running towards Mizuno-sensei and Torune, with Shino breathing out a hasty excusal before running after him.

Sarutobi and his entourage watched as Naruto struggled a bit with the protective suit and hood, before he and Shino followed Torune to out to the hives.

Turning back, the smile on Sarutobi's face vanished.

Meeting the gaze of the old woman impassively, he spoke. "As you can see, the boy is..."

"He is dangerous!" exclaimed the old woman before he could finish. "The hives have been agitated, why just earlier today, I.."

"Suzumebachi-dono, perhaps we can take a moment and discuss this inside?" said Danzou in a calm, level tone that overrode her voice.

The Second Aburame Queen hesitated for a moment, but eventually nodded. Turning, she entered the main office, followed by the Hokage's ANBU who scanned everything and everyone before Sarutobi could enter.

As Danzou followed, he turned his head and addressed the empty yard over his shoulder. "Fu, ensure nothing 'untoward' occurs in our absence."

.

.

Overall, Naruto thought this was going to be kind of boring.

Maybe it was Shino or Torune, but none of the bees seemed aggressive at all. Instead of buzzing angrily, they shied away from him.

Looking down through the mesh of the hood, Naruto watched as what seemed like thousands upon thousands of little bees working in the hive. Scurrying here and there as the sound of their 'bzzzz' sound filled the air.

He tried flicking them to get their attention, but the bees deftly evaded his hand and continued on with their tireless work.

Naruto could not even begin to make heads or tails how they all knew what to do. His eyes were spinning from just looking at the hive and trying to imagine it all in his head; endless little hexagons, millions of them all filed with bees working in their mad little world. At the heart of it, the evil Queen ruled all her minions with mind control, driving the bees...to do what?

Maybe it was like the Office World, thought Naruto; always more paperwork to be done, just with honey here.

Always more honey to collect.

Honey until it blocked out the sun!

Flick. A bee was sent flying.

Stoutly, it picked itself up and continued on with its work at the new location.

Watching it, Naruto began to feel more and more guilty about flicking the bee. This definitely sucked.

Naruto had been hoping to find some aggressive bees for an idea that he had been working on since yesterday. Since the Old Man had given him the knockout bee spray, he had been dying to try it and test out its effectiveness.

Not that Naruto was afraid of bees.

No way the future Hokage was afraid of anything.

Even if they zoomed here and there, had weird eyes and made ominous buzzing sounds, stinging you when you least expected.

Well, that was what the this spray was for anyway. Setting up this prank was going to be so easy.

When Iruka-sensei and all those other bastards got back from their holidays, they would find their desks were now beehives with honey over all the papers!

'_That will teach them_.' Thought Naruto angrily, imagining all the teachers running to the Nurse's office with stings all over their faces. What if he found some super food for the bees? He could make a monster bee the size of a desk and have it attack the teachers. Yes. Monster Bee would wreck havoc and destruction and the future Hokage would be there to save the day. Hehehe.

"...and so, pollination helps improve the yield and quality of various crops." continued Torune with his explanation.

Focusing on listening, Naruto banished the thoughts about monster bees and hives the size of buildings. Stupid mind was running away with him, as always, whenever he thought about something...

Focus! Naruto forced himself to listen to Torune, drowning out the other thoughts...leaving them all alone under the dark, stormy clouds in the freezing rain to die. Desolated by his abandonment, they...

FOCUS!

It would be really bad if Sasori quizzed him and he had no idea what the bee farm was for. Torune continued to drone on, explaining how they were going to harvest some honey.

The moment he took out a small, shiny can attached to a nozzle, something called a 'Smoker', Naruto found it was very easy to focus on what Torune was talking about.

.

.

Sitting at the canteen with the fan to cool him off, Naruto thought the day had not bee too bad. He had been given a whole jar of golden honey to bring home.

Naruto ears twitched, catching soft voices from floating across the yard easily. "...if you have questions, Elder Danzou will be more than happy to expla -"

Torune was talking to Shino, who pointedly looked away from the older Aburame.

'_Whats up with that, isn't he like, a relative or something to Shino?_' wondered Naruto, straining his ears to pick up anything else.

Torune was holding out a small piece of paper to Shino, who was suddenly pretending not to see anything. With the ghost of a smile on his face, Torune let the piece of paper fall from his hand to the ground. Walking away, he just sort of became invisible; all traces of him vanishing completely.

Walking over, Naruto saw Shino hastily pick up the small piece of paper, his left hand tight around it, crumpling the paper in his palm.

Hearing Naruto's approach, Shino stiffened. Stuffing his left hand into the pocket of his shorts, he turned around.

"Hey, are you alright?" asked Naruto in a casual voice, wondering to himself if Torune was trying to bring Shino over to the Dark side or something. He had always been a sucker for secret notes; Naruto loved to read them just to know them, but if they contained juicy secrets well, that was not so bad either.

"Yeah, sure." answered Shino. "Uhm, I heard Sakura and Ino chose to work at the Shoka flower field, you want to drop by? You could walk home with Sakura."

"...naw. Lets just head home for today. Has the supervisor signed your report card?" asked Naruto, intentionally changing the subject away from Sakura.

Shino stared at him for a moment. "Yeah, she did."

"Oh. Ok. Well, lets go."

Throughout the whole walk back to village, along the path, right up to where they parted ways after submitting their report cards in the drop box at the Academy assembly hall, not once did Shino take his left hand out of his pocket.

That really worried Naruto.

.

.

"LET FLAMES OF YOUTH FILL YOUR SOUL! LETS DO ONE HUNDRED MORE." roared the green clad man. His exuberant voice possessing a quality not unlike a mallet driving a wooden stake into your forehead, at least, that was the way it seemed to the students who had shown up for the Taijutsu camp to be greeted by this green...

...Thing.

However, Naruto's mind had more important things to consider than the Green Thing; the growing pain in his chest confirmed that yes, breathing itself, had become painful and taxing.

The Flames of Youth, did in fact, exist.

They were searing Naruto lungs with his every breath, cooking him from the inside out.

It was only seven thirty in the morning and already Naruto felt like he was on his last legs.

When he had shown up at the training ground listed on the assignment paper for the Taijutsu program, Naruto had been confronted by some jounin in what looked like green spandex, speaking at the top of his voice as he ordered the late arrivals to go through one thousand push ups for 'warm up'.

The thought of it had caused Naruto's head to spin.

This was a warm up?

Looking up, Naruto paused to take in the sight of the green clad man doing one handed handstand push-ups...

...with his fingers.

What the hell!

With his right arm behind his back, the jounin was using his left thumb and index finger to push himself up and down. His body appeared ramrod straight, somehow maintaining perfect balance all the while as he did his finger push ups. From what Naruto remembered of the Taijutsu class, you had to bend your body when you did a handstand for balance and...

As if preternaturally aware, the jounin turned his head in a way that Naruto thought should have snapped his neck.

How was that even possible?

Looking up at him, the jounin grinned, making a 'ping' sound with his teeth as he did so.

"This is how I trained for my fingers for the Explosive Breaking Point. If you learn this, you too can break even giant boulders with a single finger!" He proclaimed enthusiastically, his right arm now giving him a thumb's up sign.

For just a moment, Naruto thought he could see a raging fire, burning brightly behind the man. Rubbing his eyes, the flames disappeared. Probably a genjutsu or something; lots of high level ninja loved to use simple genjutsu to freak people out. Yeah, that had to be it. Looking at their instructor, Naruto could almost feel the heat from the...

Gah!

Casting his mind about for something else to think on, Naruto decided to wonder about this guy's freakish stamina. Pondering on it a moment, he decided that maybe, it was because the jounin used more than ten spoonfuls of sugar in his breakfast cereal - more than Naruto did in any case - that should explain his unnatural stamina.

Thinking about a food made his stomach grumble; that was the last time he ever went without breakfast, ever.

Cold milk, straight from the fridge, some heated honey mixed in with six or seven spoons of sugar on top crunchy cereal with raisins and nuts and...

Quickly, he clamped down on his mind before it could run away with the thought.

Lowering himself, the jounin pushed hard and actually lifted himself up a few feet into the air.

"COME ON EVERYONE! LETS DO THREE HUNDRED EXTRA LAPS TODAY!" He exclaimed, already jogging away without waiting for anybody. "REPEAT AFTER ME. DETERMINATION. WILL. COURAGE..."

Sullenly, the students started trudging after their crazy instructor who was already halfway down the field.

By the time lunch came around, Naruto's arms and legs had changed from flesh into noodles and jelly. His shirt and shorts were covered in grass and dirt, both completely soaked with sweat.

Breathing was now annoying in addition to painful and taxing; the air inside him seemed unbearably hot.

Naruto felt that he was now quite ready to kill for a glass of cool water. In fact, he would if given the chance, he decided.

Stepping into the shade of a large tree, he immediately felt cooler. A passing breeze made him fee positively heavenly. The moment it passed, Naruto got mad at the wind.

Looking around, he saw that only a few of his classmates was left.

Chouji was huffing and puffing, one hand over his heart. Shikamaru was standing and staring up into the sky, muttering about how troublesome it all was that only if lightning struck, could it get any worse. Sasuke, the bastard, was breathing easily, not panting like everyone else, still somehow looking cool despite his sweat matted hair.

Meeting his gaze, Sasuke raised a single eyebrow as if to say "Yes?"

Ignoring the Bastard, Naruto searched for Shino and found him doubled over beside Kiba, his breathing heavy.

Sakura and Ino both seemed to be winded, but Hinata seemed fine. She was smiling at him.

Smiling back at her, Hinata suddenly knelt to tighten her sandals.

Just more girl weirdness, Naruto decided. Apart from Sakura they were all weird beyond belief.

"AND NOW, WE DO BREATHING PRACTICE!"

Naruto shuddered in fear at the voice.

From what he had seen and heard from the others, it seemed that this jounin, Maito Gai, was insane.

Five hundred pushups, four hundred and fifty squats, four hundred sit-ups and seven hundred laps around the field.

That was without the 'extra' repetitions.

Nobody in their right mind could complete it.

Even Sakura had started cheating on the count when it became apparent that everyone was doing it.

Naruto heard that Iruka-sensei coughing, his face was red and clothes soaked with sweat. He was barely standing as it was.

Now, Gai wanted to do 'breathing exercises'. Naruto's mind raced at the thought, imagining Gai ordering them to do a thousand exhales without inhales.

They were all going to die! Die!

Looking up, he saw Gai sitting in a perfect seiza. Breathing in and out slowly.

He was sweating, but apart from that, he seemed perfectly fine. Naruto decided that Gai deserved his own category of 'Weirdness'.

His ears twitch as someone else began copying their jounin instructor.

Turning around, he saw Sasuke, also in a seiza with his eyes closed, breathing in and out slowly.

"Come now, my budding flowers! You need to breathe properly if you want to keep your youthful flames alive." said Gai, his voice still effortlessly filling the field.

Startled, some students gasped as they looked up at the jounin, whose face was suddenly adopted a serious and grim mien. "Quickly now! If you don't start breathing properly you will all DIE!"

Quickly, all the students who were still with them began copying Gai, who would speak from time to time as he instructed them on the proper breathing pattern.

Sighing, Naruto decided to just go with the flow.

Forcing himself to exhale and inhale just as Gai did, Naruto felt the pounding of his heart slowing. Slowly, it became less and less of a burden to maintain the proper breathing pattern.

This was kind of relaxing even.

Naruto did not notice that his eyes were now closed.

A few minutes later, Naruto lay down on the cool grass, his chest rising up and down in rhythm with the exercise.

He felt asleep on the field, in the cool shade of the tall tree under the afternoon sun

.

.

Naruto grappled with Shino.

No matter what Naruto tried or made up, Shino managed – just barely – to keep his balance.

Getting frustrated by the stalemate, Naruto tried to disengage. Just as he was about to prise his wrists loose, the bigger boy suddenly let go.

Surprised, Naruto stumbled backwards, arms wind-milling around to as he tried to regain his balance.

Before he could however, he felt Shino's left hand take grip his right shoulder, the right hand gripping his left sleeve, both pushing him backwards. '_Oh shit.' _Naruto thought, knowing what was coming coming next.

Executing a leg sweep, Shino drove Naruto down into the ground.

Slamming his arms down, Naruto managed to break his fall and negate most of the impact. But even though most of the forest floor was covered in layers of leaves, he still winced when lances of pain shot up his arms.

Before he could recover, Shino dropped down, one knee over Naruto's left bicep, pinning it to the ground.

Seeing the dull grey kunai in Shino's left hand, Naruto brought his free arm up and caught the left sleeve of the other boy's shirt. Without hesitating, Naruto pulled it to his right with all the strength he could muster as he simultaneously raised his hips to buck Shino off.

Taken by surprise, the other boy tumbled over and Naruto managed to get to his feet, his left hand dipping into the weapon's pouch on his leg.

Shino already had his guard up, the dull grey kunai now in his right hand, the left was clenched in a fist.

The afternoon sun cast long, dark dancing shadows through the tall trees and leaves, which whispered all at once in a thousand voices with the breeze.

Panting softly, the boys circled each other.

Once.

Twice.

Three times around, as they each search for openings and weaknesses to exploit.

This was a dangerous game; the temptation just wait a few more seconds was a strong one. Always a few more seconds while you regained your strength.

What you had to remember was the longer you put off attacking, the more the other side could recuperate as well.

In between one step and another, Naruto attacked with a scream; what he insisted to be, in fact, a fierce battle-cry to terrify opponents .

Instead of a evading or defending, Shino moved forwards to clash, throwing his fist forwards in a punch.

As Naruto weaved away from the punch, Shino opened his hand, releasing a cloud of dust and dirt that he had picked up earlier.

Some of it got into Naruto's eyes, blinding him. Immediately, he began backtracking, and by the swift _swish_ that followed, just avoided Shino's follow up kick.

Wiping his eyes over and over, Naruto finally managed to clear his eyes, just in time to see Shino to sock him with a vicious right to the jaw.

When he came too, Shino was leaning over him and he could feel the cold, but blunt, edge of the practice kunai resting on his throat.

Dragging it across his bare throat, Shino muttered "Dead."

Rolling his eyes, Naruto just muttered "Yeah, yeah. You got this round."

Iruka appeared in a swirl of leafs. "One point to Shino. Half point to Naruto. Good job, Shino, keep up the good work. Naruto, perhaps you should take a moment to flesh out your strategies more, you are telegraphing too much."

Shino bowed to Iruka while Naruto just ignored him. Iruka frowned at this but said nothing.

"Hey, Shino, a hand?" asked Naruto sullenly.

Taking the outstretched hand, Shino had just begun to pull Naruto up when he felt a strong tug on his arm.

Grinning, Naruto pushed himself up with his right hand as he pulled down with his left, unbalancing Shino.

With another fierce battle-cry, Naruto attacked.

.

.

The two boys toweled themselves down in the Men's changing room of a bathhouse near the Academy.

"I'd never thought I say it about a Taijutsu class, but that camp was insane." said Naruto.

"It was certainly trying." replied Shino, putting on a clean undershirt.

"Makes me wonder what kind of wackiness is gonna happen at the weapon's camp." continued Naruto casually, stuffing a towel into his schoolbag.

Sighing, Shino turned to him. "I can't skip any of the camps, Naruto, and I doubt you should either."

Instead of exclaiming his innocence and denying anything of the sort, Naruto surprised him by just raising an eyebrow. "Why?" He asked calmly.

"Haven't you seen the advance timetable?" asked Shino.

"No, what happened?" asked Naruto. He seemed genuinely curious.

"Well, it looks like they've scaled back the book stuff while increasing the combat classes." explained Shino.

"No way!" said Naruto in a worried tone.

"Here, lemme show you." Shino unzipped a small pocket on his bag and handed Naruto a folded piece of paper.

Scanning it, Naruto saw that it was an Academy timetable for their class.

Class was still five weeks away, so where the hell had Shino got that?

"You can get it from the lady in the Academy office, Naruto. How can you not know that?" explained Shino without prompting, looking at him strangely. "You've been going to the Academy for four years..."

Naruto cringed. Would he ever live that down?

"Hehehe. You know me." He scratched the back of his head. "Hey, Shino, could you lend me this? I just need to copy a few things. I'll be sure to get it back to you tomorrow, first thing."

With a thoughtful frown, Shino said "Sure, no problem, Naruto."

.

.

Hearing the tell tale ring of the door bell, Naruto sidestepped out of the way as a violet haired woman in a jounin vest came out of the shop.

"Oh, please excuse me." she said, frowning when her eyes found him.

Naruto was about to reply but she was already walking down the road without sparing him a second glance.

Another bastard out to make his life tough. Geez. He had not pranked anyone in months! Why couldn't people just cut him a break?

Entering the shop, Naruto saw Sasori's red hair behind the counter top. A stoccato of lightning quick 'tak tak tak tak' sounds filled the shop.

Coming around the counter, he saw that Sasori had his reading glasses on. He was working the abacus with his left hand while he wrote figures with his right. No slack at all in either operation as his hands danced back and forth.

Without stopping, Sasori continued on for a few minutes, before writing a final figure, underlining it once and rounding it up to the nearest hundred thousand with final underline added.

Woah. Must be a big order.

"Ah, you finished with your taijutsu practice for the day, Naruto?" asked Sasori, spinning his pencil around his thumb a few times.

It was so annoying; Naruto had tried for ages to master that trick. How the hell did Sasori do it!

Taking his eyes off the pencil, Naruto resisted the urge to grimace at Sasori's knowing smile. "Yeah, and I'll figure out how to do that eventually!"

"I'm sure you will. In the meantime," Sasori hefted a small manila folder onto the counter top. "Why don't you start cracking at these?"

Naruto hopped onto a stool and opened the folder. Taking a pencil from the drawer, he began going over the figures. After he had done a few pages, he turned to Sasori.

"Its a custom job." said Sasori before he could ask. "The client wants to have a broken sword reforged, with some considerable extras thrown in during the process."

"Oh, a sword?" asked Naruto, his eyes widening.

"Alright, what's bothering you?" said Sasori, laying down a order catalog.

"What?"

"Naruto, I know you well enough to see that you are bothered."

Something moved in his heart; it was nice to have someone know things about you without having to explain stuff.

"Well, I just saw the advance timetable for the Academy and its terrible!" began Naruto.

"Oh. How so?" asked Sasori, paying full attention.

"Yeah, they've gone and cut down all the book stuff and doubled up on the combat classes."

"I thought you enjoyed those classes, Naruto, especially taijutsu." said Sasori questioningly.

"Well, its crazy, first they want bookstuff, so I do like, a million mock tests and now they change course completely. I mean, I like the taijutsu and weapons classes, but well, I keep getting beaten in taijutsu and now, because of my stupid chakra control, the ninjutsu and genjutsu camps will be hell, never mind next year!" explained Naruto. "I was going to blow Sasuke out of the water and get the Rookie of the Year award. But this totally screws up my plans!"

"Don't you have chakra control exercises which can help?" asked Sasori with a quizzical frown.

"Yeah, but they don't do anything!" exclaimed Naruto, glad that he had someone who could always listen to his problems. It felt like he had done like a million upon a million upon a million leaf exercises but nothing was working!

"Oh. Well, that is strange. Hmm." murmured Sasori, his chin resting on his left hand in a thinking expression.

"Yeah." Naruto nodded. "I told the Old Man a few times, but all he said was I need to do more." He finished with a shrug.

"This Rookie of the Year award must mean a lot to you."

"Well, yeah." replied Naruto.

The Old Man had not asked him about last year's exam, but that just made Naruto feel kind of guilty about it. Thinking about it as he looked back made him realize why people had - and still - disbelieved it; he had never seriously worked at something, so jumping from the bottom of the class to the very top was bound to cause some doubt.

He had even beaten Sakura, the smartest girl in their class in book stuff!

Well, it had only been by one mark but well...Naruto still grinned at the memory. He would show them all how smart he was, because now, it was time to change everything and demonstrate to everyone just how awesome their future Hokage could be.

All he had to do was get high marks in well, everything, and reaching the Award would be a cinch. No sweat. Naruto could already see it in his mind; standing victorious on the podium with the trophy in his hand. He was going to bury the opposition.

Besides, achieving the award would show the Old Man – and others – that he really had not cheated on exam but was on the road to becoming the next Hokage.

Hehehehe. It was time to knock Sasuke off his pedestal and show Sakura, once and for all, indisputable proof about just how awesome he really was.

"Well, I believe I can help you out, Naruto."

Wait a second.

His daydream about Sasuke sulking in the back of the classroom and Sakura professing her love for him vanished.

Looking up at Sasori, Naruto raised his eyebrows. "Help with my chakra control?"

"I believe I know of a way to give you a little boost with your taijutsu and weapons classes too." answered Sasori offhandedly.

Naruto stared at Sasori in disbelief. How the hell could he help with that!

"Of course, there will be a price, Naruto." added Sasori, bringing his hands up in front of his face.

"And its not money?" asked Naruto hopefully.

"Oh no, nothing like that. You just need to do some volunteer work and spare a few afternoon's off." answered Sasori with a kind smile.

Well that was a no brainer. Naruto felt that he willing to do anything, so long as he could improve his lame chakra control and win the award. If he had to give up a few free afternoons, so be it. Show him the mountain and he would climb it!

"Sure thing!" said Naruto happily. "Where's this volunteer place?"

"Its the clinic on the corner of Nerima and Saotome. We can go tomorr-"

"Lets go now!" exclaimed Naruto loudly, jumping off his stool. By the time Sasori got his coat on, Naruto had his bucket hat and walking stick ready in his hands.

Smiling, Sasori placed the hat on his head and deftly twirled his walking stick around in his hand.

"Well, if you insist Naruto. Lets go."

The doorbell rang as they left the shop.

.

.

Because of its large size, Konoha had several small clinics dotted all across the city. Ideal places to for the more senior medic-nin to break in green aspirants, put 'field dodgers' to some use and serve as a post for more senior shinobi to serve now that they had retired.

And there was always some work to be done in the clinics.

From filling out prescriptions or handing them out, doing tests and examinations, basic healing procedures with a few advanced ones under the watchful eyes of two senior medic-nin, ferrying patients from their homes to the clinic, and if serious enough, taking them to the Konoha General Hospital for a room until more experience staff could help them.

Each clinic was expected to be run all day, everyday.

Stepping out of the cool evening air, they were instantly hit by a wave of noise.

A mother was cooing to a crying baby. Several children were running around the small playpen. A couple of nurses were talking behind the counter, going over patient files before, arguing whether they should bother the doctor who was going hunting high and low through the dispensary for some medication. A field of murmurs where the people sat, talking softly about this and that as they waited for a doctor to see them.

Instead of taking a number to be called, Sasori led Naruto through the hustle and bustle, further into the clinic.

People were staring at them, or more specifically, Naruto, who suddenly found himself hating them. Sasori turned and met the stare of an old man, sitting alone one of the benches.

After a few minutes, Naruto felt bit self conscious, but Sasori ignored the tugging on his sleeve.

"Is there a problem, sir?" asked Sasori in a overly polite, sugary tone, the way some of the secretaries talked to Naruto during his documents run.

Frowning, the man just turned away.

Sasori tugged his sleeve out of Naruto's hands. Looking down on him, his face usually severe, Sasori said "Don't ever let people give you shit for no reason, Naruto."

Stunned, Naruto was about to thank him when Sasori continued down the hallway, heading for the stairs.

Instead of ignoring the old man, Naruto turned around and stared straight him. Afraid but unwilling to look away now, Naruto took a few steps up him and looked him straight in the eyes.

For just a second, the man seemed really scared. Suddenly, he spat on the floor and left with an angry frown, mumbling under his breath about 'no good brats'.

Feeling very pleased with himself, Naruto scampered down the hallway after Sasori.

.

.

It was a struggle to sit still while the silvery haired teen in a lab coat counted softly beneath his breath, two fingers on Naruto's wrist, measuring his heartbeat.

A few boring minutes later, the older boy smiled and made a note in a new file.

"Looks like you are in perfect health, Naruto." said Kabuto, closing the file. "Apart from your weight, which a few extra vegetables and balanced meals should cure, I don't see any problems whatsoever."

"Ugh." Naruto made a gagging sound. "Vegetables?" Those things were squishy and nasty.

Laughing, the older boy fished around in a drawer before pulling out a bright chart. "Yes, Naruto, vegetables. A growing shinobi needs to have a good, balanced diet if you want grow." There was a pyramid divided into different sections for food.

With growing apprehension, Naruto noticed that the chart advocated less sugary stuff. No way was he cutting down on the sugar!

"Diet? I don't need to lose weight!" said Naruto defensively.

Shaking his head, Kabuto said "A diet doesn't necessarily mean loosing weight or skipping meals. Why would you...Oh." With a knowing grin, he said "Some pretty girl already caught your eye, Naruto?"

Blushing hard, Naruto stammered out an angry denial.

Chuckling, Kabuto tore off the top sheet of a notepad he had been scribbling on and handed it to Naruto.

"Here. You don't need to follow the list exactly, just go with what you feel comfortable with, but that does not mean you get to ignore the part about vegetables, Naruto." finished Kabuto warningly.

Naruto grinned mischievously. "Ok. Ok."

Leaning back, Kabuto continued "So, from what Sasori-san has told me, you are interested in improving your chakra control?"

"Yeah!" exclaimed Naruto excitedly. "Can you help me with that?"

"Well, there are a few things we can try out." answered Kabuto thoughtfully. "But, you'll have to agree to help out here at the clinic. Its part of our training program."

"How can I help out?" asked Naruto curiously.

"Just show up here from Monday to Fridays. Come around one thirty and find me. You can help me deal with the afternoon traffic." answered Kabuto easily.

Holy cow. That was all week. There would be no time for anything else.

"Would I have to do paperwork stuff?" asked Naruto tentatively, positive that more paperwork on top of his school and shop stuff would drive him nuts within a week.

Chuckling, Kabuto said "Nothing like that Naruto. You'll just have to do some studying as we work on that control. Then you can help as I do my rounds here."

"Oh..." Naruto looked at the floor, hesitant at the thought of more book stuff.

"Could you let me know your answer soon, Naruto?" said Kabuto, breaking the silence and snapping Naruto out of his thoughts. "We only have a few slots left open and they fill up pretty quickly. I've only kept his one open because I owe Sasori-san a favor and if you don't want it, well..." He trailed off.

"I want it." said Naruto, cutting him off.

"Really?" asked Kabuto doubtfully. "Because if you can't make it..."

"Don't you worry. I'll show up everyday. Believe it!" replied Naruto with more confidence than he felt.

"Good, there will be a couple of forms you have to fill out, but why don't we get a head start on that chakra control..."

.

.

Naruto pushed open the shop door a little harder than was necessary.

Irritated and sweaty, he went over to his place behind the counter, opening his courier bag and dumping the assorted documents, along with the bag, in a pile. Switching on the small fan, he sat down to cool off for a few minutes.

Down a flight of stairs, Naruto found Sasori in the airy workshop, wearing his stained leather work clothes as he cleaned a wicked looking black katana which seemed to reflect no light at all.

Taking a seat at the worktable, Naruto picked up a heavy wooden mallet and started working repairing a dented chest plate.

Together, they continued working for some time before Sasori came over and helped him to sew repaired layers of armor together. They cleaned it thoroughly before shining the outer pieces. Once the colors were bright and clear, the red armor was mounted on a mannequin. Naruto watched as Sasori slowly traced out the kanji characters for 'Barbeque Pork' on the front of the chest plate.

Packing up the cleaning materials, Sasori said simply "The general library had nothing?"

Using the sleeve of his shirt to wipe the sweat from his brow, Naruto grimaced. Taking a moment to get his temper under control, he said "No, and the librarian was no help at all."

"Hmm. And you checked the back issues of the Konoha Gazette?"

Sighing, Naruto said "Yeah. The name Uzumaki does not up anywhere, either in the five years prior or after the Kyuubi attack. It looks like...I..."

"Hush. Don't worry about it, Naruto. These things have a way of working out." said Sasori reassuringly.

"Yeah." said Naruto, sniffing but feeling a bit better.

"In the meantime, I have a gift for you."

"Oh that's nic - wait what?" said a bewildered Naruto.

Naruto eyes widened as Sasori reached down under the worktable and brought up a beautiful kodachi with in a mahogany colored sheath.

Smiling at Naruto's fish imitation, Sasori merely said "Congratulations, Naruto. You've come a long way."

Whooping with joy, Naruto hugged Sasori, who allowed it briefly. Soon enough, Naruto began waving the kodachi around, making 'swish' and 'vshrum' noises as he cut imaginary foes.

"Now, I want you to remember that this is a dangerous weapon, Naruto." admonished Sasori in a strict voice.

Naruto, annoyed at the interruption, wanted to reply flippantly, but catching himself, sheathed the blade and said seriously. "I'll remember."

"Good, now, just for today, you can test your sword on a target dummy. I've got one upstairs, it just needs assembling before..." Sasori trailed off as Naruto dashed out the room, his new toy in hand.

Sasori relaxed visibly, letting the tension roll off him. It had taken everything in him to not bat away the touch and strike Naruto; the stinger inside his abdominal cavity had tightened reflexively and nearly speared the Jinchuriki when he had entered Sasori's personal space.

While he needed to connect with Naruto emotionally, it would be best if he set down some ground rules on physical contact early on. Speaking of which, it was time he had a few words with Kabuto to set the next phase of his plan in motion.

Gathering himself, Sasori composed his features and climbed the stairs of his shop towards the first floor where he had renovated two different shop lots into a multipurpose weapon's range so that customers could test his weapons on various dummies.

Naruto was busy screaming as he ran his kodachi through the target dummy. He was aiming and - mostly - hitting the weak spots and targets identified in the books and class at the Academy, but his motions were jerky and uncertain.

Allowing him a few more minutes, Sasori approached Naruto, who was admiring the blade. "As you remember, Naruto, I'd promised to help you in your other combat classes. Now, listen closely. We're going to pull a prank on..."

.

.

Naruto stared at the soft green door.

Finally he was here.

It would mean spending less time with Shino, but he had to do this if he wanted an edge on his classmates.

Standing on his tiptoes, Naruto just managed to reach the button on the wall.

Before he could press it however, a violet haired woman in a night sky yukata opened the door and Naruto jumped back in surprise. He had not heard anyone approaching. '_Wicked_.' He thought, taking this as a sign that she was ANBU.

Uzuki Yugao frowned at the sight of him but did not slam the door close like Naruto had feared.

"Can I help you?" she asked in a polite enough tone.

Four simple words and Naruto's palms were sweating in the cool morning air. He had spent one whole week preparing for this conversation with Sasori.

Staring up at the frowning woman, her expression severe, it suddenly did not seem like enough.

"I work at the Eternal Beauty." began Naruto. "And I think I know a way for you to save some money that order you placed."

Her frown was replaced with small smile. "Oh, and how could I do that?"

"First things first." Naruto replied coolly, feeling suddenly giddy. "Will you help me train me in some taijutsu and kenjutsu?"

There seemed to be a really short training sword tied to his back. Not holstered. It was literally, tied to his back.

Chuckling, she said "Depends on the savings, kid. And from the looks of things..."

"I can help you knock off ten thousand from the estimate." began Naruto with a quaver in his voice, the image of her closing the door in his face flashing before his eyes.

"Please, I don't know why I got out of bed for this..." She was slowly closing the door, sending a flash of fear through Naruto.

"No wait! Fifty seven. Thousand." said Naruto, almost screaming with desperation. The door paused and the violet haired woman stared at him coolly.

Naruto could hear his heart pounding in his ears and the cold morning air freezing the sweat on his hands; Sasori had said that fifty seven thousand was the absolute highest he could go, any more than that, and Naruto would have to dip into his own savings.

"And you can go no higher?" asked Yugao in a neutral tone.

Naruto shook his head so much that the world starting spinning.

Somehow she managed to groan and laugh in the same breath. "So why did you sleep on my doorstep?" she asked.

"I didn't sleep there, I was camping!" said Naruto indignantly. He was not some vagrant or tramp.

Shaking her head, Yugao thought back to her ANBU training where they had to water walk down a waterfall. Staring into Naruto's bright blue eyes with his confident grin, it felt like she was just about to go off the edge again.

"Ok, why were you camping on my doorstep then?" she asked, feeling like an idiot. Yugao had been awoken at four in the morning by a village guard who feared that Uzumaki Naruto was planning to vandalize her home; he had been going over some paper, mumbling to himself about 'The Plan' as he sat on her doorstep for the last three hours.

"I was just arrived early, so I wouldn't be late, you know?" said Naruto in a matter of fact tone; as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Shaking her head consternation, Yugao decided that it was just too early for this shit. In a polite voice, she said "Come in, Naruto. You can have some tea. Let me get some coffee and then we can talk."

Naruto was ecstatic. She even knew his name already, this was awesome!

.

.

Scrunching up his nose, Naruto mopped up the vomit on the floor.

This was definitely not what he had in mind when Kabuto had asked him to help at the clinic, he thought to himself as he washed up in the bathroom.

Leaving, he rushed over to Kabuto's office; the older boy had asked him out to lunch and Naruto had jumped at the offer.

But after searching high and low, Kabuto was no where to found in the clinic.

Hearing footsteps approaching, he looked up and saw Kabuto come round the corner of the stairs, talking with a couple of nurses and other staff. Seeing him, Kabuto smiled and held up two lunchboxes. "Sorry, but with all the work we've been swamped with lately, it looks like lunch carryout cuisine for us, Naruto. Come on and join us in the break room." said Kabuto, motioning for Naruto to come over.

Feeling extremely nervous, Naruto followed them.

The break room was nice and bright, with a large fan overhead that did not creak despite the high setting.

"Can you help me with the drinks, Naruto?" asked one of the nurses, an older girl he had seen at the Academy before. He was the only person in the room without a headband. "Sure, nee-chan." answered Naruto, trying to sound as confident as possible.

Naruto poured drinks from a large container taken from the fridge while the nurse, Haruhi, made tea.

In a few minutes, everyone was seated down, gossiping and joking in between bites.

Naruto felt like at any moment, he might say something stupid and ruin everything, but Kabuto made it a point to talk to him and include him in the conversation. Nobody seemed to mind that he was just an Academy student or that he was not wearing a headband.

Relaxing a bit, he joined in, careful to follow all the rules Sasori had put down to 'not be annoying'. Soon enough, he forgot about his nervousness and just was himself.

Before Naruto knew it, lunch was over and everyone was packing up their lunchboxes.

Looking over to Kabuto for direction, he saw the older boy flirting with nurse. Sensing him, Kabuto turned and winked while the nurse giggled. Feeling his ears burning, Naruto closed his lunchbox and left for Kabuto's office.

After a few minutes, Kabuto joined him and Naruto had to resist the urge to sing 'kissing in a tree'.

The afternoon blurred into more work; with Kabuto having Naruto completing menial tasks when he was not studying or helping around the clinic.

By the time evening came around, Naruto was bone tired.

Wrapping up his notebooks, he followed Kabuto out to dinner, this time with some medics from another clinic, one of whom had recently passed the Surgeon's Exam. Despite the fact that they stopped him from drinking sake with them - which Naruto did not really mind - they allowed him to join in their toast.

Kabuto was so cool; popular with everyone wherever he went, always nice and polite and ready to bail a friend out of trouble.

When he helped a drunk Kabuto back to his apartment, the last thing he expected was being asked to stay over due to the late hour.

The next morning, over a big breakfast, Kabuto even gave him a few ideas on how to find out more about his family.

Wasn't he just swell?

.

.

Through the hustle and bustle of the hospital, Naruto led his patient, an old lady, to the correct ward. Setting her down on a bench, he calmly told her he'd be right back.

Running off to the nurse's station, Naruto ignored the matron's scathing look and handed her the folder that Dr Moriyama had told him to present to her.

Frowning in concentration, the matron quickly went over the folder, expertly picking out the salient points. Calling another nurse to help her, the matron went over to old lady and began asking her questions about her condition in a soft voice.

Naruto listened – he could not help it – and answered a few questions with what the doctors at the clinic had said. The matron listened to his answers but ignored him, which was fine with Naruto, because his ears were twitching.

The second nurse came quickly, her shoes clacking on the nurse's stairs. She almost ran out of the station. The second she passed him, Naruto darted into her shadow and zipped into the nurse's station, jumping onto a chair, he reached for the key rack and snagged one marked 'Records'.

Without a pause, he somersaulted over the counter top and zoomed down the hallway, not once looking back.

.

.

Hiding out under a couple of bushes with the aid of a couple of snack bars and a thermos, Naruto had waited until the last lights had faded and the cool night air rushed in.

He could be patient when he wanted to, besides, the dark did not scare him; Naruto could see very well in the dark, better than most of his classmates in any case.

From his spot on the bushes, Naruto's sensitive ears made out the soft ring of the bell in the distance. It was time for the midnight shift to take over from the evening shift. Personnel everywhere would be busy during the hubbub, their minds elsewhere instead of at their jobs.

Stuffing the wrappers a container and screwing the thermos top, he dumped both into his courier's bag. Taking out a flimsy roll of cloth, Naruto tightened the straps of his bag before wrapping himself in the cloth. Focusing his mind, Naruto ran through the exercises Kabuto had taught him before applying his chakra to the cloth.

With the Academy semester starting in just a week, it was now or never.

Crawling inch by agonizing inch, he slowly approached his goal. Feeling giddy with excitement as the large, beige colored building which had no windows became closer and closer. At this range, he could make out the words on the door.

As Kabuto had explained, quick access of patient's medical history can mean difference between life and death, and so, in many hospitals and clinics, there is usually a file cabinet kept near the nurse's station, ready for the medical staff to peruse.

Oftentimes, these files are in pristine condition, written in clear script with words and letters evenly spaced.

That is because these files are often copies of copies; the originals having been carefully analyzed by nurses before transcribing the information onto new forms and charts, sanitizing the 'doctor chicken scratch' from the margins of the forms and charts so that the words are easily legible. Or so Kabuto's explanation went. The originals were then stored in an offsite location, to be updated if anything changed. If not, they just sat there, gathering dust.

With his heart pounding in his chest, Naruto crept into the shadow of the doorway, letting the technique dissipate. Testing the key he had stolen earlier, he found that it slid into the lock without resistance. Turning it, he heard the mechanism click before he felt the pressure of the lock change.

Grinning, Naruto never thought he would be glad for paperwork, where it seemed that everything had to be done in triplicate or quadruplicate or something-cate and where no form or slip of paper was ever destroyed.

Armed with his trusty flashlight and a map cobbled together from Kabuto's description of the place, Naruto slipped into the darkness of Konoha Records Storage Facility, Sub-Division Six.

Carefully, he closed the door behind him, locking it.

If he had a birth certificate, it would be here.

And, if he had one, listed on it, in black and white, would be the name of his mother and father.

The file cabinets loomed in the darkness ahead like towering black monoliths.

Hearing nothing but the howl of the wind outside and some scurrying paws off to the left in the distance, Naruto smiled to himself. Covering the flashlight with his hand, he flicked it on and took in the hand drawn map one more time.

With that done, he switched the flashlight off and vanished into the gloom.

* * *

* Update 17/07/12 - fixed some typos. Thanks for pointing them out.

* Update 18/07/12 - added a few scenes to deal with the scene changes.

AN: I've never written anything this long before, so I hope the characters are not ooc or something. Any thoughts, comments or suggestions? I'm open to anything that will make my writing better.


	4. Roses are Red

AN: A big thank you to everyone who reviewed! ^_^

Disclaimer: Kishimoto Masashi is the man behind the Tobi mask!

* * *

After ages of wandering around in the dark and updating his cobbled map periodically, Naruto felt that he had finally narrowed down the area where the files for the year of his birth should be should be.

Rolling up the now hopelessly scribbled and utterly indecipherable page, he turned the flash light towards the corner of the file cabinet and read the number there.

Heading three rows left and two down, Naruto came to a corner of the facility.

The excitement was so such that his hands shook as he opened the nearest cabinet and pulled out a folder at random. Reading it, Naruto chortled; he had found Kiba's birth cert. Hehehe. Was that idiot in for now, thought Naruto smugly.

"Inuzuka Tsume, blah blah blah, mother of Inuzuka Kiba. Bingo. Blah blah age twenty, father was... "

Naruto almost discarded the file before the thought struck him.

Opening the folder again, he skimmed through it quickly before finding the relevant entry. Kiba's mom had been eighteen when she had her first child, Inuzuka Hana. So did that make her seventeen when she had conceived Hana or was she already eighteen?

Naruto knew that lots of girls married and had kids way before their eighteenth birthdays. Only last year, Uncle Teuchi had joked that Ayame was becoming an old maid, with her seventeenth birthday come and gone with still no boyfriend or interest in boys at all.

Thinking back, and finding it very hard not to blush, Naruto realized that Ayame must have felt a lot pressure to get married, especially one year after her Majority birthday; girls faced pressure to get married and have kids; the thought was utterly alien to him. Needless to say, it was – like all girl related things in his mind – weird beyond belief; because thinking about it opened up a whole new vista of - weird - thoughts. Did this mean wombs were village resource?

FOCUS.

Shaking his head, Naruto frowned. This was the bad thing about thinking, particularly with his mind; you give just a little leeway and suddenly it ran away over the hills and far away. Setting himself anew to the task, Naruto began searching through the folders, one by one, searching for the name Uzumaki.

Finding none, but discovering that just about every mother in the cabinet had given birth at least twice before their twentieth birthday, he closed it and began searching on the next cabinet.

Glancing down the row – he could not help himself – Naruto winced.

Only a few hundred more million cabinets to go. Or what seemed like it; a quick count revealed that there were thirty cabinets, and in each, he could expect to find a few hundred files per drawer.

Looking down at the opened drawer, Naruto did some quick mental arithmetic. There should be fifteen thousand or so files or so in the thirty file cabinets, give or take a few. A yawn escaped his mouth at the thought.

It had been really cool breaking in here, but this file searching seemed even more mind numbing and demanding than the usual paperwork stuff. Scrunching up his face in determination, Naruto decided that he would just have to keep going. No way did Uzumaki Naruto, the future and most awesome Hokage that there would ever be, quit because of paperwork.

He would just have to slay the paperwork. Yes. That was it; slay the monolith with a katana wreathed in flames. Even in the face of sheer boredom, the Hokage rises, triumphant over his foes!

And so, in between the dancing shadows and flickering light, Naruto did battle with the dark cabinet monoliths, housing their nefarious and forgotten secrets, as he sought ancient knowledge vital to not only the survival of Konoha but to the very balance of good and evil in the world.

Oh, and there was a Princess involved somewhere. A very beautiful princess who was trapped here. She needed saving and Naruto was going to save her.

And a evil monster, Minion of the Forgotten Evil, warden of the princess's prison; dark and bad, this guy definitely needed to be defeated.

Oh, lets not forget the Evil Big Boss itself, buried in the shadows; a fragment from a time beyond mortal memory and ken, and now, slowly breaking the seals that bound it, this unspeakable evil now sought to wreck havoc...

Left alone, ignored by almost all adults and shunned by most other children, Naruto had let his imagination - aided by comics and storybooks - fill the world around him. Besides, wasn't it more cool to think of this as an epic quest to rediscover a lost truth, facing unspeakable ancient evil along the way to save a princess, than say, opening a thousand different file cabinets and rummaging around to find the correct folder out of thousands?

Dispatching another evil monolith with the appropriate "VSOOUM" sound, Naruto plowed on, undaunted by the field of enemies before him. The number of foes mattered not, for he was a Hero who always won in the end; always saving the girl (because they always seemed to need saving in the comic books he read) and married her and live happily ever after.

Glaring up at another file cabinet, twice the size of him, Naruto rushed forward, making soft sounds to himself as he ambushed the ancient beast.

"Hyaaah!" Naruto roared as he yanked open a file drawer; striking a fell blow against the monster.

Within were dusty files; each containing the desolate and damned souls of those who had sought to make the darkness their own, never realizing how they were being warped and twisted into soulless monsters...

The file cabinet creaked; this evil beast was wounded, but not mortally so. Out of the shadows, putrid arms of rotten flesh, the skin sloughing off the bones, blindly grasped for mighty Hero.

"BOOOSH." They were destroyed by his awesome Hokage jutsu.

Picking up another mouldy folde – Secret Scroll Thingy – caused another wave of monsters to appear out of the shadows.

And so he did battle once more.

.

The cockerel's call startled Naruto.

Jumping up, he succeeded in slamming his head against the underside of an open file tray, upsetting the folders inside and causing a few to fall to the floor. Holding his head with both hands, eyes closed in pain, Naruto did not notice that the surface of the floor had changed.

Taking a few fumbling steps, Naruto stumbled when one of the files under his feet moved.

Arms windmilling comically, he tried – and failed – to retain his balance on the small mound of discarded papers.

Wincing at the lances of pain shooting up his arms, Naruto shook his arm a few times to shake away the numbness. That was the last time he ever tried the Breakfall technique on concrete. Irritatedly, he noticed that there was still another fourteen more cabinets to go. Another cockerel's call filled the air outside, this one followed quickly by two others.

Damn. That meant it was either four or five o'clock in the morning now and he did not know if anyone would come round during the day to check up on the place. Grimacing as the pain in his arms faded, Naruto decided that maybe it would be best if he left and came back again tonight or the night after.

Looking down at the mess of papers under his feet, covered in places with dirty sandal shaped smudges, it looked like escaping was going to easier said that done. With a weary sigh, Naruto quickly went about cleaning the papers as best he could before returning them to the correct folders.

As he slid the last folder into place and closed the file cabinet, the sound of clapping hands reached him, nearly causing his bones to jump out of his body. Who the hell was here? What if this place was haunted by a ghost...

"Cleaning up to hide the evidence, Naruto?" came the voice of the Old Man, breaking the silence.

Oh shit.

Looking up, he saw Sarutobi sitting on one of the file cabinets, the Hat hanging on his shoulders and an impish smile on his face. Staring up at the Hokage, Naruto's tired brain melted as it tried desperately to formulate some escape route.

Grinning at his discomfort, Sarutobi just shook his head, adopting a serious mien and shocked voice, he said gravely, "Naruto, I'm sure you know that medical files are confidential. Why, accessing them like this represents a serious crime. You could do prison time!"

Unsaid was the fact that Naruto had triggered no less than eight alarms and other security measures on his way into the grounds, not to mention when he broke into the facility. Fortunately, Sarutobi had called off the dogs before the Rapid Response Teams had showed up.

"No way I'm going down! Face my super one hit KO jutsu, Old Man." said Naruto defiantly.

Sarutobi merely raised an eyebrow; he had long ago become used to the young boy's grandiose proclamations.

Stifling the urge to laugh outright, he chuckled softly as he got to his feet. Making a hand signal for his ANBU guards to hang back, Sarutobi clasped his arms behind his back.

"Do your worst, Naruto." said the Hokage in a stern voice, his face grim and foreboding. "There is nothing you can do to avert your punishm- "

"Sexy Technique!"

.

Giggling to herself, the blond changed back and quickly made his escape.

As usual, his super duper awesome unbeatable S-rank abilities had come through to save the day.

Whooping in joy, Naruto realized that he had just beaten the Hokage in single combat. Could he get any more awesome?

Why yes, he could. In fact, when he became Hokage, he would be so awesomely cool that..

He was so immersed in his fantasy that the ANBU closing in nearly managed to grab the collar of his jumpsuit; at the last possible second, Naruto turned, moving just out of reach and causing the pursuer to gain nothing but a feathery touch at the edge of their fingertips.

As adrenalin pumped through him , Naruto continued laughing to himself in the post victory high, partly to wake himself up but mostly to annoy the ANBU. These guys were a joke; cornered in a closed enviroment with multiple team mates, they had the opportunity to set up in advance and they still could not touch him.

Seriously.

He had just defeated the Hokage.

These guys had no hope at all.

Naruto's mocking laughter was cut short as he ran straight into an invisible wall at full speed. Dazed, Naruto fell awkwardly, his eyes becoming two little spinning whirlpools as his brain rebooted itself. Shaking his head, he brought up several hazy arms to massage his nose.

Or he would have, had he not been attacked by several ropes. Coiling around him like a hundred different snakes, the ropes moved themselves into various knots, giving him a nasty case of rope burns in several instances. Soon enough, Naruto found himsef hanging upside down and staring downwards – or upwards – he corrected himself, at a bunch of ANBU in full body cloaks and masks that had a large kanji for "Fire" written across the forehead area, instead of the usual animal traits.

They were speaking softly, but his sensitive ears still managed to catch some of what they were saying.

"...shed Hokage...doctor...transfusion...immediate...tact...Setsu...double..."

Woah, the voice seemed to be coming from each of the masks at the same time; Naruto decided that after he escaped, he was definitely going to steal one of these masks.

Suddenly they all looked down at their prisoner.

"...do...th...brat?"

Before he could let off a curse at them, one of the ANBU reached forwards and touched his forehead.

.

Jumping up in surprise, Naruto succeeded in getting tangled with the blanket around him.

Disorientated, he looked around.

He was tangled up in the blanket of a soft futon. The room was bright and airy. It looked traditional, but there were concrete walls behind the sliding panels. Looking out the window, he guessed it was late morning, close to the all important lunch in any case. He was probably late for work at the shop, but Sasori would not mind as long as the paperwork got done.

Some stuffed toys sat at the base of a nice workdesk; there was a sheep with a baffled expression and a wolf with a hungry one. Naruto liked the funny expressions on their faces. Before he could pick up a grumpy looking lion, his ears twitched at the sound of someone approaching.

Three smart raps on the door preceeded a woman with spiky violet hair and light brown pupil-less eyes that reminded him of Hinata.

She had a long tan trench coat, a dark orange leather skirt and a silk bodyweave designed to give the appearance of flesh under the wire mesh; having handled lots of equipment at Sasori's shop, Naruto was familiar with the armor.

That leather skirt actually reminded him of the leather tool pouch that Sasori kept back at the shop; you could unroll it to reveal a whole set of pointy tools. Staring at her skirt, Naruto wondered if she kept hidden tools there. He could not see a Konoha headband, but she was probably a kunoichi.

Smiling, the woman sat down on the desk and introduced herself in a soft voice. "Hello, Naruto-kun. My name is Mitarashi Anko, I've been assigned to watch over you for a bit, at least till the Old Man finishes up his work." The way she said "Old Man", with just a bit of mischief, instead of the deferential - and stuffy - "Hokage", made Naruto instantly like her.

People were so caught up whenever he called Sarutobi 'Gramps' or 'Old Man' instead of 'Hokage-sama'; it was nice to see someone else sharing his joke.

"You hungry, Naruto?" asked Anko with a smile.

Was he ever. "Yeah. Lets go get some takeout from Ichiraku's!" said Naruto.

With a grimace, Anko said "No can do, buddy. We've got to stay here, the Old Man himself said so."

At Naruto's downcast look, she chuckled and winked. "But I can make a mean sandwich. Come on, slowpoke." said Anko, already heading towards the door, motioning with her hand for him to follow. Grinning, Naruto dashed off after her.

Could this get any better?

.

Over a sandwich down in the large kitchen of Sarutobi's house, Naruto munched happily as Anko sat down opposite him, pouring another glass of freshly squeezed orange juice.

They talked about this and that, about the Academy, about his grades and how hard mock test papers could be. Soon, Naruto was describing the bee farm to her, how he hated losing to Shino in Taijutsu spars and that Maito Gai a.k.a The Green Thing was probably a secret Genjutsu master that bent on driving everyone around him crazy.

Talking to Anko was really cool; it was hard for Naruto to explain, but she was so vibrant; bursting with energy like him. She found things funny and laughed a lot. Just being around her made everything interesting and fun.

Reaching for his glass, Naruto tipped it back to take a big gulp.

"So, Naruto-kun, you got a girlfriend yet?" asked Anko, a knowing smile on her face.

The orange juice was promptly expelled through his nose, much to her amusement.

.

Lunch came and went with a five layered sandwich consisting of chicken, bacon and beef interspersed with lettuce, tomato slices, mayonnaise, onion rings, two fried eggs, five slices of cheese and (because Anko was a girl and therefore weird) pickles followed by the Yellow Death (Mustard) on Anko's half of the Super Duper Epic Conclusion Finale Destiny Deathmatch of Doom sandwich.

Yes. It was epic.

A sandwich worthy of a Hero, and since Anko was rapidly rising in likeability, a Heroine.

Struggling to fit the whole half of his sandwich into his mouth, Naruto was annoyed to see that Anko had already taken a large bit out of hers. She winked at him in a smug sort of way that said: "Nyeh nyeh."

No matter what anyone said, Naruto had decided that pickles were evil. Which probably meant that Anko was using dark powers bestowed upon her to beat him.

Glomp.

Now that Naruto had managed to fit a corner of his sandwich into his mouth, he was finding it somewhat difficult to make his lower jaw connect with his upper jaw.

Together they explored the kitchen as they chatted on and off about everything and nothing. After gutting the pantry of its biscuits, they eventually discovered a tub of vanilla ice cream hidden at the back of the fridge. Hah, there is no hope for the Old Man now! though Naruto as he took a scoop straight out of the tub.

Anko showed him how to make fruit fritters, like the street stall merchants sold.

Mixing some flour with eggs and sugar, they added a bit of milk and "Taa-dah! That is how you get batter. Now, we just have to dip the apple slices in, make sure they are covered on both sides before we fry them in hot oil." finished Anko, nodding sagely.

Soon, they had a whole plate full of apple fritters to go with the freezing vanilla ice cream.

Before he knew it, Naruto was telling stories about his adventures, wanting to impress Anko.

So he told her about the Super Secret Training Ground he had rigged to have moving targets. She promised to come over and help him with his Accuracy and weapons skills. He had not even asked and she had offered to help him; wasn't she just awesome?

By the time the second round of fritters were being fried, Naruto was explaining, in great detail, about his quest to find his True Origins; his daring plan to swipe a key when the Evil Matron was not looking and then hiding out under the bushes before he used the Cloak of Invisibility technique to sneak up to the facility. He even drew what he remembered about his cobbled map onto a napkin to show Anko, who was suitably impressed at the detail on it.

"You know, I even defeated the Hokage! And I would have gotten away with it, if it wasn't for those meddling ANBU and their evil rope."

"No way."

"Uh-huh. He was like 'you can't defeat me' but the moment I used my super secret one hit KO jutsu, he fell like the rest of them. You want to see?"

"Hmm, how do I know this isn't some lame ass attempt to knock me out and steal all the ice cream?"

"It only works on some women, don't worry...You're not a pervert are you, Anko-neechan?" asked Naruto seriously, his earnest blue eyes gazing at Anko.

"No way. Give it your best shot, kid."

Puffing up his chest, Naruto demonstrated his Sexy Technique right there and sent Anko into a fit of laughter so intense she had trouble breathing for a few minutes. Wiping the tears from her eyes and snot - "Its not blood, gaki!" - from her nose, Anko mussed his hair, much to Naruto's annoyance.

When Naruto explained how he and Sasori had tricked a customer into giving him lessons, Anko was really interested. "So, Yuugao-chan is teaching you basic kenjutsu?" asked the violet hair woman as she lifted the fritters out of the bubbling oil.

"Yeah, because Sasori said" here Naruto adopted the caricature of a serious face, "I won't be having you running around, waving a blade because you think its cool. You could seriously injure not only yourself but someone else."

Shaking her head, Anko put another scoop of ice cream over the steaming apple fritter. "Say, Naruto, I'm pretty handy with a blade too, why don't I join you, then we can all train together?"

Nobody but Shino had really wanted to train with him before. "Sure thing, we're meeting at training ground One – One – Seven, every Saturday morning and Sunday afternoon." said Naruto excitedly, jumping at the chance to make a new friend.

"Cool, see you there, Naruto." said Anko. Glancing at something in the hallway, she whispered in a conspiratorial tone. "Looks like the Old Man has returned. Lets keep this our little secret."

"Sure thing!" If there was one thing Naruto loved more than reading secret notes, it was keeping secrets. Winking at him, Anko touched the side of her nose and made a "shush-ing" motion.

"Ok, gaki. Go out to the garden. The Hokage will see you now."

.

Out in the garden, Naruto found the Old Man standing on a high branch of a giant tree, feeding some monkeys. He looked pretty serious; Naruto hoped that the Hokage was not too pissed at having lost to him, after all, he had warned the Old Man a thousand times about his awesomeness super jutsu.

Coming around him, Naruto sat down in the shade of the tree.

The old Hokage plucked a dull green fruit from one of the high branches and descended, the branches barely swaying as they took his weight.

Petting the place beside him, Naruto jumped up onto the branch and took the half offered to him, biting into it after the Old Man started with his.

Wow. He looked pretty serious.

So serious in fact, that Naruto could not properly enjoy the sweet and sour taste bursting in his mouth. What a bummer, well, it looked like it was time to face the music.

"I hear that your medic-nin sponsor put you up to breaking into that facility, Naruto." began Sarutobi after a while.

Spitting out the fruit in his mouth, Naruto sputtered. "n..No way, Gramps! I just asked him about my birth cert and where I could find the original. I swear, he had nothing to do with it."

Sighing, Sarutobi folded his knees and turned to Naruto. "Naruto, you are an orphan, I've checked..." he said in a gentle voice.

Scrunching up his face, Naruto grimaced. "But, Gramps, I've read the newspaper. It said that the survivor lists and those lost were..."

The Hokage listened with half an ear as Naruto defended Kabuto, taking on all the blame for his 'prank'.

Naturally, he had been informed of about Naruto's request to see the back issues of the Konoha Gazette and about how the blond had threatened to bring the Library down on the heads of the librarians if he even suspected them of blocking him somehow; Naruto may not have been involved with the Festival Prank last year, but he was certainly capitalizing on it; people now feared some super prank as retribution for a perceived wrong committed against him that they were quite willing to play along with Naruto's demands.

But that was not the main problem; Sarutobi had known that someday, Naruto would wonder about his parents and look for clues, despite whatever explanation he was fed.

Yet, putting off this inevitable day in his mind, he had convinced himself that it might never come. Certainly, Naruto had never wandered about his origins that much before; he was just another orphan, one of the hundreds left in the wake of the Kyuubi's devastation.

Looking down into Naruto bright blue eyes, alight with joy as he explained his "ingenious plan to discover his roots and uncover his True Identity", Sarutobi felt his heart ache.

First it was the Konoha Gazette. Fortunately as wife of the Yondaime, publishing Kushina's name was forbidden, and was making any reference to her, however oblique was punishable by death; the security protocols for the Hokage's family, already among the most stringent in the Village, had only been tightened after Minato had rescued Kushina for a second time.

Still, listening to Naruto explain how he had cobbled together a map of the facility from secondhand accounts, the knot in Sarutobi's stomach grew.

Naruto was set on this course and knowing the child as he did, Sarutobi was certain that the boy would not give up.

He may have been a little slow on the uptake certainly, but now that he was applying himself seriously, Naruto was really showing progress.

At his employer's suggestion, Naruto had tried the Gazette, spending an entire week combing through back issues.

An offhand remark by his sponsor and Naruto had decided infiltrated a secure government facility to view confidential files with the hope of learning who he was. But what if someone had mentioned the Security Archives?

Or god forbid, the Hokage's vault which held the personal letters and documents of the past four administrations. Naruto had been perfectly willing to break the law before for a 'maybe'. If he knew that there was a place where he could certainly find out the truth...

All it took was a wrong word here or there and perhaps an enemy agent could lure Naruto away with the promise of information about his parents...

"Hey, Gramps, is everything all right?" asked Naruto, eyes concerned.

"Ah, I was just lost in memory." replied Sarutobi with an easy smile, making Naruto smile back. Spirits above, without the whisker marks, the boy looked exactly like Minato did, examining him with a probing gaze.

Sighing, Naruto continued on with his story about how the giant black monoliths – his name for file cabinets – seemed to contain endless file folders, otherwise no way would he have been busted because he was simply too awesome for the 'lame ANBU' to ever catch him.

"Seriously, Gramps. If it wasn't for those meddling ANBU and the rope, no way ever would I have been caught..."

.

Should he tell Naruto about Minato and Kushina?

The ache in Sarutobi heart grew into a sharp pain.

It had taken Anko five minutes of smiling and talking over some food get Naruto talking and once he did, he had not stopped; by now there would be a preliminary report by Anko on his desk, to be followed a complete analysis by Ibiki of everything Naruto had said and done – re-examined in light of new information – for the past few months.

If Naruto had paid more attention at the Academy classes before, he would have instantly recognized how Anko had been guiding the conversation, making him reveal important information through seemingly innocuous remarks.

Yes, telling Naruto would be a gigantic mistake; one wrong word, a single remark made in the heat of the moment and the boy would be facing a slew of Kumo assassins, not to mention all the other freelancers that would come once they heard that Minato's scion was alive and well.

Add to the fact that he was the Kyuubi Jinchuriki and the boy would probably be kidnapped to be used in some breeding experiment to produce 'superior' ninja through some attempt to recreate the famed clan of the Kingin Kyoudai, with their natural immunity to the chakra of the Bijuu and the impressive chakra reserves that came with it.

His blood and body would probably harvested in some hare-brained attempt to unlock the Yondaime's famed Flying Thunder God technique, which even now, people still killed one another over scrolls rumored to contain instruction on the technique or for information about the personal branch of Fuuinjutsu developed by Minato to bridge the time lag associated with the Activation and Completion of his techniques.

And all that was just from the beyond Konoha's walls; while selective breeding was technically banned in Konoha – under the Senju Thousand Hands Law – many ninja clans still forced their children to mate with regards to ability, record and allegiance; love was something you shared with a person you held hands with*, not your wife or husband.

If the clans knew of Naruto's heritage...

Despite the whispers, Naruto's abysmal record had dispelled all doubt that he was the son of the Yondaime. But now those same rumors were resurfacing in light of his recent actions. Even if Sarutobi had his agents remove the whispers, the Clans themselves were always on the look out for talent and if Naruto kept upping the ante at the Academy, well, he would find friends easily enough.

No doubt _romance_ would soon enter into the equation if Naruto proved himself; especially if it was known that he was the son of Konoha's most famous shinobi.

Romance...

The word triggered a rampage of thoughts; Jiraiya, who was currently pushing his puppet into a takeover of the Kizaru-kai yakuza clan. Now that he had found out that his student's son was alive, what measures would he take to contact Naruto?

His wayward student had always been temperamental and if push came to shove and the Council decided to block him, would he start a civil war? If he did not, it would simply be another mark against the Council in Jiraiya's mind. One that he could use to sway the Clan Heads against them. Sarutobi could see it now; his student talking in secret about how the Yondaime's son was being mistreated by the Council and how they were blocking him from even seeing the poor boy.

No doubt some would see this as a chance to promote their own causes and fall in with Jiraiya's plans to advance those goals in his possible future coalition. Assuming that Jiraiya did not just kidnap Naruto and bring him on the road to 'tour the Elemental Nations' and see the World. Precisely the sort of harebrained scheme that would cause several international incidents.

And what of Danzou?

He could keep a lid on Koharu and Homura but with the specter of civil war looming, Kumo assassins on the wings, every major clan in Konoha out for Naruto's genetic material and loyalty...

The old war hawk had been trying for ages to manipulate Naruto and turn him into a weapon; preferably through extreme emotional conditioning, sealed into an endless dream state, which could be used to in turn to transmit images of targets. Awakening from the dream state would initiate the mental triggers to unleash the Kyuubi's foul chakra...

Sarutobi felt sick at the memory of the scroll that his spies had delivered to him. And that had just been one idea detailing how Naruto might be 'weaponized'.

Looking down at the center of all this potential chaos, Sarutobi mused that it was one thing to make a law, but the law itself could not change what was in people's hearts or how they behaved. Naruto looked up at him with his bright blue eyes, a worried smile on his face.

"Whats wrong, Gramps?" asked Naruto earnestly.

_The world is ending, Naruto._

"Oh, I am sorry. As I get older it seems that the wool gathering gets worse." said Sarutobi lightly, covering his anxiety.

_I'm sorry, Kushina._

"Dont'cha worry, Gramps. Pretty soon, I'll become Hokage and you can retire." said Naruto confidently, patting Sarutobi's knee as if to make it all better. "Then you can just kick back and relax while I take care of everything." finished Naruto with a cheeky grin, unaware of how much the words pained the Hokage.

_I tried to give him the freedom you yearned for_.

"Tell me, Naruto, do you remember the story behind the Kyuubi?" asked Sarutobi conversationally even as drove a kunai into his heart.

_But in the end..._

"Oh sure, it attacked the village and killed lots of people, but Yondaime rushed in and saved the day because the Hero always does!" said Naruto enthusiastically. "When I am Hokage, I'm gonna be even more awesome than the Yondaime, just you wait and see, Gramps. Believe it!"

_I can not change this_.

Chuckling lightly, Sarutobi said "Keep up your hard work at the Academy, Naruto, and I'll rest easy. Now, let me tell you a story, young man. It is about a woman called Uzumaki Mito. You see, a long time ago, when the Shodai Hokage founded Konoha, he needed someone to contain the..."

.

The afternoon heat was dulled by the ice creeping through Naruto's veins.

This was wrong.

Wrong Wrong Wrong Wrong Wrong Wrong.

"...so you see, the name Uzumaki is given as an honorary name to the Jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi, in memory of the Shodai's wife." finished Sarutobi in a soft voice.

Naruto stared up at the Hokage, wild eyed as he stumbled backwards.

"So..they hat...ate...hate me? I am a monster and the Kyuubi..." asked Naruto in a small voice.

"NO!" said Sarutobi loudly, nearly shouting at Naruto.

Before Naruto knew it, the Old Man's arms came around him, picking Naruto up and enveloping him in a tight hug. He was warm warm warm, smelling strongly of tobacco and ink and paper.

"You are a very beautiful, sorry, I mean very handsome, young man with a bright future, as strong a shinobi as any of the clan children." said Sarutobi, trying to lighten the mood. "Why, I hear that if you keep up the hard work, you're set for becoming Shinobi of the Year and maybe even overall Rookie of the Year." finished Sarutobi with a touch of pride.

Eyes moist, Naruto ignored him, hands scrunching up fistfuls of the Hokage's robe as he practically breathed in the smell, trying to think of something better. Gramps was just saying these things to make him feel better.

But nothing could make this better; the stares, the empty playgrounds, why nobody wanted to play ninja with him, why the instructors were all jerks, the reason why he did not stay with the other orphans in the hostels and why Uncle Teuchi never made it big and why Sasori's shop was barely breaking even. It was just wrong. Everything was wrong wrong wrong and it was all his fault because he was...

"NARUTO!" said Sarutobi in an urgent voice, shaking him. "Listen to me! You are not a monster, you are not the Kyuubi, you are just YOU!"

Placing a palm over Naruto's stomach, Sarutobi went on "The Kyuubi is just something kept inside here, you are NOT the Kyuubi and it CAN NOT hurt you, Naruto."

Touching his forehead to Naruto's, Sarutobi pretended not see the hot tears trailing down Naruto's cheeks as he focused on instead on his bright blue eyes.

"Nothing has changed, Naruto. You are still a gifted young man with a bright future. You are still you, nothing has changed save for the fact that you know a little more about the world than you did before. Why, I'd bet that if you had half a chance of getting away with it, you'd paint the Teacher's lounge in bright orange and eat all the ramen in Konoha if you wouldn't burst at the seams from all those noodles."

A sob became a hiccup giggle cough.

"You think so, Old Man?" sniffed Naruto.

"I know so, Young Man." answered Sarutobi confidently, pulling Naruto in for another hug. "No matter what happens, I love you, and I always will."

.

Storming into the shop, Naruto glared at Sasori, who was coolly flipping through a catalog of Konoha oaks.

"Aren't you supposed to be with Uzuki-san? Its bad form to skip meetings, especially with your schedule." inquired Sasori serenely.

"It ended, she had to talk with her friend and they started arguing." replied Naruto flatly, still giving the evil eye to the older boy. Sasori hummed absentmindedly as he filled out an order form. Minutes passed and the teen kept flipping through the catalog, using a red marker to occasionally circle certain selections while he folded others pages to review later.

"Yes, Naruto?" asked the older boy after a while.

"You knew." said Naruto.

Sasori's thoughtful frown turned into an indulgent smile. "Ah, I was wondering when you would get around to this."

"So what, that's it?" asked Naruto angrily.

The older boy raised an expectant eyebrow. "Should I have told you about the Kyuubi?" he asked in a neutral voice.

"Damn straight you should have. I deserved to know."

"For argument's sake, lets say I told you about the Kyuubi. Would you have rushed to the Hokage and demanded answers?"

"Hell yeah, its because of this that -"

"Thirty seven people are dead."

"What!?"

"We are talking about an S class secret, Naruto. In other words, matter of national security. Had I told you, I would be woken at two in the morning by ten ANBU teams barging into my apartment. Naturally I would be tortured for all I knew and later executed for breaking the law. Did you know that under this law I would have no right to legal counsel during my tria-"

"I. Deserved. To. Know. Anyway." bit out Naruto.

"So I should have faced the death penalty because you _deserved_ something?"

Grimacing, Naruto conceded – only to himself – that it did sound kind of stupid in retrospect. Barely one minute into this conversation and already things were going down hill.

Sasori sat back in his chair as he cleaned his glasses. "Tell me, Naruto, are you enjoying this?"

"Enjoying what?" asked Naruto, mystified.

"I mean this whole, stomping around like a bear with a sore head. Coming up to me and demanding answers as you throw around accusations with heated words. What did you think was going to happen, hmm? That I would break down and cry and beg for forgiveness as I explained my actio-"

"Look I was wrong, alright? Don't change the subject."

The pleased smile flashed so quickly that Naruto could not be sure he had seen it.

"Oh?" asked Sasori innocently, like butter would not melt in his mouth.

"You've been manipulating me, the mneno thingy exercises with the mind palace, the mock tests and games, setting me up to study with Kabuto and with Yuugao-neechan."

"Really? If I remember correctly, we made a deal and I simply delivered my end of the bargain."

"I trusted you. How could you manipu-"

The older boy snorted loudly. "Do you manipulate the Hokage into giving you extra allowance?"

Miffed at being interrupted, Naruto replied hotly "Of course not."

"Even when you tell him how hungry you are?" retorted Sasori sharply.

"Look, Sasori-"

The red headed teen smiled smugly.

"Fine, whatever. Ok, but that's not the po-"

"All interaction between people involves manipulation of some sort, Naruto. We are but puppets, pulled this way and that as the strings-"

"What the fu-"

"You eat when you feel hungry, correct?"

"Stop chang-"

"So then, does your stomach manipulate you?"

"FUC-"

"Minus fifty Ramen Points. That persistent potty mouth is unbecoming, Naruto."

It took everything in him to not attack Sasori outright. Instead, Naruto took a deep breath and started counting back from a million, going over all the pranks he could pull on the shop. Why the hell was he pursuing this line anyway? Time to focus on what really mattered.

"Ok, fine. Whatever. Why have you been manipulating me?"

"You mean helping you with academic subjects by teaching you how to organize your thoughts? Or are you referring to the fact that I helped you to improve your accuracy with weapons before getting you a paying job and additional training like your slot in the Young Medics program? Let us not forget that business with Uzuki-san who has-"

"...Ok, you've been helping me. Why?" bit out Naruto, at the edge of his patience.

This time Naruto did catch the pleased smile before Sasori went back to his serene expression.

"Because I have been testing you Naruto. You have vast potential, something I can help you realize." said the older boy over his steepled hands.

Naruto blinked. Sasori was still leaning back in his chair, staring expectantly at him over his hands.

Sasori wanted to train him?

He had never been told that he had vast potential...

"What can you teach me?" asked Naruto, his curiosity immediately piqued.

"Information gathering, poisons and their antidotes, traps, Fuuinjutsu, Taijutsu, Ninjutsu, Genjutsu and Weaponry of all stripes." replied the older boy seriously.

Taken back, Naruto felt giddy at the thought of all that Sasori offered. Still...

"I thought you said you were not a ninja." said Naruto, trying to keep the accusation out of his voice.

The red headed teen folded his arms behind his back. "As I told you before, I am an artist, Naruto."

"You lie-"

"I did not lie." replied Sasori hotly. "An artist is someone who devotes themselves to their chosen field. If you thought I messed around with crayons and paint, well..." He gave Naruto a smug smile. "Its not like I put the thought in your head."

"You just let me continue on believing it."

This time Sasori did not let the pleased smile fade. "Now you are learning, Naruto."

Neither boy spoke for a time and the silence stretched. Naruto's mind was a whirlwind of jumbled thoughts. It was not like anyone else was going out of their way to help him right? But from what he had learnt from Sasori about deals...

.

"What is your price?" asked Naruto wearily, his head still swimming at all that had happened.

The smile on the older boy's face was positively sly now. "I am the master of a Secret Skill..."

Naruto stared at Sasori with eyes as wide as saucers.

"...and I find myself in need of a Disciple. Someone to whom I can pass my skills." finished Sasori.

"What secret skill?" asked Naruto breathlessly, unable to help himself.

"Puppetry." said Sasori proudly. For the first time ever, Naruto saw him puff his chest up proudly.

Naruto just stared at the older boy.

Sasori raised his hands, the fingers jerking in strange motions.

A nearby mannequin of a samurai warrior in full armor suddenly moved. It spun a heavy steel spear around in its hands as if it weight nothing before performing a flashy kata. Finishing with a heavy thud as it planted the spear on the ground, haft first.

Naruto frowned. "That's it? Why not have a clon-"

Another mannequ - puppet suddenly moved behind him. Spinning around, Naruto saw the kunochi manne - puppet thing cackle loudly. The skin seemed to crack, causing rivulets of blood to trail down everywhere . The whole chest cavity burst open as a loud whirring sound filled the air.

Raising his eyes over his arm, Naruto saw that its innards were filled with spinning blades. The two arms had become a spindly six, four held long blades while the remaining two in the middle were sharp claws with drills coming out of the palms.

The sound of something breaking drew his eyes up to the puppet's throat as it bulged obscenely. The lower jaw broke into two different sections, revealing row after row of razor sharp fangs. It jerked in ways that were not natural as a deep cackle filled the air from an half open throat, still leaking blood. At the back of the throat was a flickering flame.

Oh s-

Naruto just managed to escape the gout of flame by jumping backwards.

Another puppet masquerading as a mannequin suddenly broke into several sections, each hanging in mid-air; connecting the sections was a wide mesh of wired net.

Before Naruto knew it, he was trapped against the wall, snug as a bug under the heavy netting which fortunately was not barbed.

"This..." hissed Sasori in a sibilant voice. "..is the Art of Puppetry. I do not boast when I say that I am the greatest master of this Art who has ever lived."

Over the last few months, Naruto had come to have a feel for Sasori's moods. It was by no means definitive - since he could go from hot to cold and back again at the turn of a coin - but by Sasori standards, this was him practically shouting with pride and joy. If Naruto treated this lightly, the older boy would be seriously pissed.

"Uh, why have I never heard of this...Puppetry before? I thought only Clans had secret skills." said Naruto tentatively.

Sighing, Sasori made clacking puppets kneel down and the net holding Naruto to come apart with a sweeping gesture of his hands. "Being a Puppeteer is an extremely demanding vocation, requiring not only extreme dedication but extensive knowledge and experience in a wide array of fields and skills. There are several significant drawbacks to it, as with any Secret Skill." finished Sasori a tad defensively.

The older boy raised his left arm, his fingers dancing in the air as the puppets around got up and silently took up their poses once more as mannequins to display the shop's wares.

The red headed teen seemed lost in thought and Naruto was about to speak when Sasori suddenly spoke. "Before me, there were only a handful of true Puppeteers. Most used their Art for entertainment purposes, hosting shows and plays. It originated with the Shadow Theater where they would shine a light at the small puppets, casting large shadows on a wall to act as characters for a large audience. There was no founding Clan to begin with because Puppetry could be picked up by anyone, provided they had the perquisite chakra control and a teacher familiar with the Art."

Sasori motioned to the puppets hidden unobtrusively around the shop.

"I am a master craftsman, Naruto, and even for me, each of these took a month to complete." He pointed at the samurai puppet with the spear. "This one took nearly three months of work to before it was combat ready."

"So its like entering a business then." said Naruto, thinking about all the forms and papers he had to deal with. "Its not easy to start up."

"Correct. Nearly all battle puppets are unique creations, requiring many months of work. Due to this highly personalized aspect and the secrecy involved with the process, learning Puppetry can take many years, even decades, especially when it was mostly an oral tradition."

"Oral tradition?"

"It means passed on by word of mouth. As with many Secret Skills, masters usually impart lessons to their students through lectures and discussions. However, I have created a series of standardized puppets to go with a codified scroll containing instruction to make entrance into this field much easier. I suppose you could call me the Father of Modern Puppeteering." said Sasori wistfully.

Did that mean he mean to say that he had revolutionized an entire Secret Skill?

"So you're famous then?" asked Naruto, awed at the thought of standing before a ninja master.

"Only to puppeteers and a few older ninja. Many believe I am now dead." said Sasori neutrally.

It took only a second for the other shoe to drop. "Something which you don't bother correcting." said Naruto slowly, testing the thought aloud.

Sasori gave him a quick grin. "You catch on quick, Naruto." He said, making the blond jinchuuriki flush with pride. He was pretty awesome after all; it was good that people finally give him recognition.

Shaking his head, Naruto tried to order his thoughts. "You're going to teach me all that if I be your disciple in Puppetry?" He asked carefully.

"Worried that it is too good to be true?" asked Sasori with a predatory smile.

When Naruto did not respond, Sasori went on "Puppetry a demanding vocation, you will require substantial knowledge in all these fields to advance."

"Ah, so you're saying that I have working knowledge in all that stuff to advance in this secret skill."

Without realizing it, the blond jichuuriki slipped back into the pattern of games that Sasori had taught him. Uncertainly, Naruto glanced at the samurai puppet. "So, if I uhh...I mean, I have to...understand how to use a spear if I want...my puppet to use one?"

"Correct." said Sasori brightly. "Even with superb chakra control, you can not make a puppet dance if you yourself do not know the steps."

Naruto paced nervously, scratching the back of his head. "Uhh. Sasori..uhh...about my chakra control..."

.

The cool jell tickled as Mystical Palm technique crossed his abdomen.

Kabuto gave him a bright smile and cancelled the jutsu. "It took a while, but I was able to narrow down the infusion of chakra to his Hara. That's your center, Naruto. The source of your chakra." clarified Kabuto.

"Infusion, so chakra is being pumped into me?" asked Naruto, astounded at the thought.

"It certainly looks that way. Nobody truly knows how the Yondaime's personal branch of Fuuinjutsu works but I believe that it is safe to say he either intended for this seal to purify the Kyuubi's youki into useable chakra for your system or..."

Naruto's pulse quickened; why the sudden ominous pause?

"...he failed to completely seal away the Kyuubi, which is why min-"

It felt like he had just taken a punch to the gut. "Did you just say FAILED?" said Naruto, nearly shouting in alarm.

"Relax, Naruto. Let me finish. Now, this is just speculation, but I believe that the Yondaime could not totally seal away the Kyuubi, thus he took an alternative path and allowed for your chakra's to mingle."

Naruto just stared at the silver haired boy blankly.

Sasori took out a mock exam booklet from a shelf. Opening it, he turned it around and placed it before Naruto. "Tell me, Naruto, have you ever hit the hundred percentile?" asked the red headed teen.

"There is no hundred percentile, the highest is only ninety ni- Oh. Ok, I see what you mean." Glancing down at the booklet, he looked up at Sasori nervously for confirmation.

Nodding, the red headed teen continued. "In a nutshell, lets say that the Yondaime managed to score ninety nine point nine percent, or somewhere thereabouts. Because of this, the Kyuubi's chakra is constantly escaping from the seal, pouring into you."

"What does that mean?" asked Naruto nervously.

Sasori and Kabuto shared a glance. Pushing up his glasses, Kabuto went into doctor mode; definitely not a good sign.

"Naruto, the scan is somewhat ambiguous but I'd speculate that your chakra coils are, shall we say, scarred, from the constant pressure. Normally chakra production spikes in your early teens to adulthood. However, your system has been under constant stress since you were used as a sacrifice." explained Kabuto. Seeing that he was losing Naruto, he paused for a moment.

"Lets say you have a water balloon and you need to fill it up. You turn the tap slowly, because the balloon will burst if filled too quickly." Seeing Naruto nod, Kabuto continued.

"Now, think of chakra coils as a balloon that can stretch, over time, as you use it repeatedly. For others, this is chakra training to expand their reserves. For you however, this balloon has been stretched since well...forever. Its under constant stress day and night. I am afraid to say, but chakra control will always be an issue for you, Naruto."

Naruto felt his stomach drop. It felt like the ground underneath him had opened up suddenly. Would he end up like that cripple kid in the upper years who could not mold any chakra? Was he going to be cripple...

...or was he already stunted? He thought, feeling the urge to vomit. His world was in tatters; what if he could never ever become a shinobi...

Sasori placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Fortunately for you, I happen to be a Master in fuuinjutsu and Kabuto is no slouch. We believe that we have a solution."

Close to tears, all Naruto could do was nod glumly.

.

Slowly, the stinging sensation was numbed by the cool chakra of Kabuto's healing technique.

"How do you feel, Naruto?"

"Uhmm...Ok I guess. Actually, its like...I suddenly took off my backpack filled with gear. I feel...kind of light." answered Naruto nervously.

He had almost missed it at first, but now that he was walking around with Sasori's seal, he felt...better. It was like he had been carrying around something for ages and had forgotten what it was to just...not carry it.

Laughing out loud, Naruto found that he felt great.

Kabuto chuckled as he wrote down something on Naruto's medical file. "Don't forget, you still have lots of work to do if you want to improve your chakra control."

"I won't forget, Kabuto. Thank you." said Naruto seriously.

"That's good, why don't you find Sasori, I'm sure he is eager to begin your lessons."

Naruto rushed out of the small room, eager to get away as fast as possible.

.

Frowning in concentration, Naruto felt a bead of sweat trailing down his forehead, tickling his ear and... entering it?

The strange sensation of the water entering his ear broke Naruto's focus, causing him to tilt dangerously backwards.

Gasping, Naruto quickly reacted; overcompensating for the change as he channeled more chakra to the soles of his feet.

With a loud crack, the wood broke and sent the blond boy tumbling downwards. He was caught in mid air by a violet haired woman. Drawing him in close to her chest protectively, she somersaulted and landed on her feet, hardly disturbing the grass.

"More chakra is not always the best solution, Naruto." chided Yuugao as she set him down. With a pair of tweezers ready, she helped extract what splinters had entered his feet before the small boy used his Mystical Palm technique to repair the minute damage. Instead of the proper pink tenderness that should fade in seconds, Naruto technique left angry red splotches in its wake.

"I'm sorry, its just that its been four days and I've barely reached the midway point! The Academy is starting the day after tomorrow and my progress is still stuck." said Naruto in frustration. "You told me you did this in two days and now..." he trailed off, biting his lips.

"Relax, Naruto. Getting frustrated accomplishes nothing and only stresses you out further. As for the Academy, after all your hard work these last two months, I'm pretty sure you will be a cut above the rest of the class. Now, generally men require twice as much time, if not more, to progress in terms of chakra control when compared to women. Frankly, I'm amazed at you can keep this up. At your age the most I could handle was eight minutes of this training before I had to rest and you've been practicing for over an hour." explained Yuugao softly.

Instead of cheering him up like she had hoped, the reference made Naruto look even more downcast . Sighing, Yuugao realized that she had better break this preconception early on, otherwise Naruto might try something truly stupid and injure himself or worse still, miss the point of the exercise completely.

It had always astounded her how many greenhorns thought that if they just did more of the exercise, over and over again, their chakra control, skill or whatever would somehow magically increase proportionally to their effort; while training was good; unsupervised training where an initiate kept repeating their mistakes throughout - since nobody was around to correct them - would lead to all manner of foolishness and mayhem; harming the trainee over the long term as they internalized often serious flaws as the 'correct' method of application.

Switching tact, Yuugao spoke in a firm, clear voice. "I warned you about this, Naruto. It is one thing to talk about training but it is another when you are actually doing it. Progress does not automatically come. Some things can only be gained with time and experience."

Wincing at her rebuke, Naruto automatically took a few minutes to run through the mental exercises Sasori had given him. Soon enough, the fatigue lessened left him, leaving Naruto clearheaded and he focused on the task before him. Taking a deep breath, the boy picked himself up and took a few tentative steps up the tree.

Yuugao followed his progress up on an adjacent tree. "That's good. Now concentrate, Naruto. I want you to intentionally increase the chakra flow to your feet as you ascend higher. The goal is to gain mastery over your chakra by consciously directing it. It deals with the same principle as the Leaf Concentration Practice. Think of the tree as a leaf that you need to stick to your feet." she directed in a clear voice.

Soon enough, they were both halfway up their respective trees; Yuugao easily maintaining her posture while Naruto occasionally swayed back and forth.

One step. Two. Three. Four. Five, before Naruto's balance begins to falter again.

Taking a few moments, the jinchuuriki used the sleeve of his shirt to wipe his forehead of sweat. Focus regained, he took a hesitant step forwards.

It was another four steps before Yuugao reached out and caught Naruto's arm as he fell. She swayed for a moment but eventually steadied. "Are you ready, Naruto?" asked the ANBU captain.

At Naruto's nod, she swung her arm upwards and Naruto let go, using her arm as a springboard to launch himself up. He latched onto the tree with both his hands and feet.

It was a few minutes before he felt confident enough to unclasp his hands. Yuugao now was standing upside down on a nearby branch. Pouring some water from her canteen into a cup, while upside down, she handed the cup to Naruto. Four fifths were filled.

"The goal is to spill none as you descend from the tree. You have twenty minutes to walk down face first, Naruto."

At Naruto's nervous glance downwards - they were still at the dreaded halfway mark - Yuugao decided to up the ante. "If you manage this, I'll teach you another kenjutsu technique, Naruto."

Scrunching up his face in determination, Naruto slowly wobbled down the tree, a cup of water in his hands.

* * *

AN: As always if there are any mistakes, please point them out and I'll get on them ASAP. So, any thoughts, comments, or suggestions? I hope the pace of story progression is not to slow.

* * *

***Wombs**: I read about this in an old book about spaceships. Usually when one village raided another, the boys and men were killed off by the raiders who were then more than happy to keep the women alive. In a war torn world where ninja die everyday, the pressure on women to bring about the next generation, produce heirs and increase the clan numbers must be considerable. Would you consider woman's womb to be a resource?

**Fireblade**: The personal guards of the Hokage.

***Person you hold hands with**: euphemism for a romantic interest. In this AU, ninja within the clans do not marry because out of love for each other, though there is the usual pomp and ritual surrounding the ceremony that suggest otherwise. Shinobi and Kunoichi marry with regards to bloodline, skill, renown and lastly, financial wealth through an elaborate matchmaking (read negotiation) process, especially in the Major Clans. Though it is extremely rare, some ninja still marry with love being the primary motivation. Oftentimes however, people hope that the married couple will come to 'an understanding' each other over time if no romance develops.

***God mode Naruto**: it is not happening in this fic. However, since he will be taking lessons from an S-class criminal, Kabuto and several others, he will not be the One trick pony (who has to rely on the Kyuubi to bail him out where he would otherwise die) from the manga either. You ever count how many times Naruto would have actually DIED if it were not for the Kyuubi pulling god mode and bailing Naruto out of trouble?

***Naruto's heritage/Sandaime**: I hoped to preempt this with the scene about Sarutobi's thoughts and Sasori's conversation with Naruto, but just in case someone misses it. Our loveable blond is currently ten years old. Yes, he is the MC. No, that does not mean he gets to learn (or even deserves) to learn State Secrets.


	5. Violets are Blue

**AN:** Thanks for all the feedback guys, sorry about the delay.

**Disclaimer**: Kishimoto Masashi says that there can be no cow level.

* * *

**Last time on The Scorpion's Sting:** _Uzumaki Naruto, Boy Genius, Future Hokage and Most Awesome Academy Student Ever, has undertaken an epic quest to discover the truth about his origins. Having faced the unending hordes of darkness, he has succeeded in shattering the Black Monoliths and learning their dark secrets. Unfortunately the Old Man and his meddling ANBU appeared on the scene soon after. Faced with a difficult choice, Sarutobi revealed a dark and terrible secret concerning Naruto's origins. With this new knowledge, patterns emerge that force our young hero to confront his best friend, the shopkeeper Sasori, who was revealed to be a ninja master. What's more, he is searching for a disciple to whom he can pass on the Secret Art of Puppetry..._

* * *

Naruto sat at his worktable, going over the oddly shaped building blocks that Sasori had provided him.

At first, the stuff he had completed were all simple and straight forward; mostly common shapes or other simple objects. Delighted at his quick progress, Sasori had decided that Naruto could skip a few levels. Now...well, things were not going so good.

The shopkeeper laid the last of the oily black shuriken into a small cardboard box, folded the covers and wrote a price in neat calligraphy. "Have you completed the set, Naruto?" asked the older boy without preamble.

He had not even got past number four of this set; there were still six other puzzles of varying difficulty to be completed before he moved on to an even harder level; there were nine more levels of this stuff until he could move on to the next stage of training.

It was a never ending hell of torment.

Gritting his teeth, Naruto quickly took a moment to calm himself before replying: "I got stuck on number four."

Sasori tilted his head in birdlike manner. "You lack patience, Naruto."

"What does patience have anything with this stuff?" snapped the little boy.

"What does patience have to do with this?" corrected Sasori annoyingly as he place the box of shuriken on a shelf and made a notation on a nearby clipboard. "Patience has everything to do with everything, Naruto." he said at last.

Naruto confidently placed a piece near the top of the tower he was building. It caused the whole thing to wobble precariously.

When Naruto did not reply, Sasori grabbed a nearby wicker stool and parked himself from his disciple. Holding up both hands, he pulled back the long sleeves of his heavy robe and then, passing his each other, made a bottle of soursop juice appear in the palm of his right hand.

Now that he had Naruto's undivided attention, he removed the cap and handed the bottle to his disciple. "Now that the classroom is easy, you feel that field skills so be just as easy?" asked Sasori as Naruto greedily chugged down the sweetened juice.

The little boy nearly choked, gasped for breathed, coughed and then glared blearily at red headed boy.

"The benefits of being in a small town, Naruto, is that everyone talks about everything."

Oh.

"Well, its not fair." said Naruto sulkily after a few moments.

"Tell me, Naruto, did you think that a few months of training would simply allow you to defeat all your opponents?"

"..."

Shaking his head, Sasori continued, "Your classmates train as well, Naruto. Being the child of a shinobi family means that most, if not all of them, have trained since the day they could walk. Many of them train from daybreak to sundown. That is why the top ten spots of the Academy rankings board are almost always held by clan children or as you might say, clan kids."

"But all that training with Yuugao and Anko..."

"Has mostly been about patching the holes in your education and bringing you up to scratch. Your classmates will have their own instructors and teachers, pushing them to excel."

"Yeah, so when are you going to start teaching me taijutsu or something?" replied Naruto sharply.

"Patience, disciple. Patience. I think it is time we started on Homework."

"Homework?" the blond boy asked quizzically.

"I think you will find my version of homework to be a bit more challenging that the usual fare served at the Academy, Naruto." replied Sasori confidently.

"Why do you keep doing this?" asked the young boy, frustration marring his brow.

The teen raised a fine eyebrow, the picture of innocence. "Hmm?"

"Whenever I want something, I've got to get something or do something first before you'll help me. Just like Kabuto won't tutor me or let me join that study group if I don't attend those stupid medic classes." said Naruto irritably.

"Because we are not here to spoon feed you, Naruto. If you really want something, we need to know that you are willing to go the distance for it." replied Sasori unsympathetically. "Speaking of which, you really should attend more of those lectures at Hospital."

"I don't have the time. In the morning its the Academy, then the entire afternoon with either Kabuto or you. On the weekends I training with Yuugao and Anko, if she's free. There is no time!" said Naruto, finally letting off a little steam.

"Have you not accrued the necessary fifty days at the clinic?"

"..."

"Are you afraid of going to the lectures?" asked Sasori in a tone that suggested as much.

No way was Naruto afraid of anything. "Of course not! No way am I afraid! I'll go to a hundred lectures and you'll see!" replied the young boy, his cheeks coloring.

"Very good, Naruto." came the purred rejoinder, not a second later.

The blond jinchuriki nearly slammed his head on his desk. How could he be such a moron?!

"We have gone over this, disciple. The path forward is simple and clear; It involves hard work, toil and struggle. Now, will you attend the perquisite classes?"

"Yeah. Whatever. I'll be there." said Naruto in a huff.

"Now, you were saying that you get tired? Have you been taking the pills that I gave you?"

"Yeah but its still not enough."

"Pack the puzzles and follow me, Naruto."

Quickly placing everything back in its casing, the little jinchuriki got up and followed Sasori. They came to one of the few locked rooms in the Eternal Beauty. Taking out a bunch of keys, Sasori somehow selected the correct one from a mass of similar looking keys and slid it into the lock.

"Naruto, there are some rather dangerous things in here, I trust you will not touch anything." said Sasori, turning to face his disciple.

The blond haired boy was a little too slow covering up the eager smile on his face.

"Naruto..." continued Sasori warningly.

"Ok. Ok. I won't touch anything."

Pale brown eyes rested on him for what seemed like an eternity. "Wait here." Sasori said finally.

"Aww, come on."

"Consider this a lesson in patience, disciple." said the older boy pompously as he opened the door and walked into the darkened room.

"More like a lesson in sadism." muttered Naruto softly as he gazed into the mysterious room, trying to make out as much detail as possible.

The room smelt strongly of antiseptic and chemicals. There was a stainless steel table and a wooden desk. A pane of clear glass cordoned off a large wooden cabinet that seemed to have a thousand little drawers. No doubt containing juicy little secrets that Naruto needed to learn. In fact, he could hear them calling out to him, whispering his name...

Somewhere in the back, Sasori opened a fridge, bathing the room in soft light as long shadows were cast everywhere.

Woah.

Naruto decided right then and there that he would one day learn every juicy secret that this room contained. The large door closed with a click, shutting off the young boy's view. The red headed boy handed his disciple a large metal bottle.

"Take a teaspoon of this once every morning, preferably with your breakfast and once again at night, again with dinner or some snack."

"More prep stuff?"

"Yes." replied Sasori simply, already turning away and heading for the workshop.

Taking a moment to gauge Sasori's mood, Naruto decided to risk it. "Will this prep stuff ever end?" he asked, trying hard to keep his voice level and neutral. The older boy stared at him for a long, drawn out moment. A mixture of irritation...and something else.

Suddenly, Sasori's face was oddly...neutral, instead of his serenity.

"Tell me, Naruto, do you ever feel anger with you spar?"

.

.

Homework.

Such was its evil nature that the word itself had become twisted, corrupted by Homework's insidious influence and wrought into something else entirely with the weight of the psychic scarring caused by eons of suffering children under its yoke.

Naruto mentally went over the list that Sasori had provided.

The brief glance caused a feedback surge to wash over him, super heating his blood to boiling and wrecking motor control as the caustic wave seared his mind and flayed his body err, skin from the inside out.

Was it skin flayed from body or body flayed of skin? Besides, wouldn't his flesh explode or something if blood was boilin-

An blackboard eraser landed squarely on Naruto's forehead, releasing its toxic payload in large cloud that seared his nerves even as it caused the cellular bonds of his body to break down.

With a cry of anguish, Naruto fell to his knees, his vision swimming. With astonishing speed, the skin peeled off his face as muscles atrophied. Great swathes of flesh fell from his frame in a river of blood and gore. A gurgled scream was all th-

"Stop daydreaming, Naruto. Enough with the hand waving. Pay attention!" came Iruka's angry voice from the bottom of the lecture theater.

The boy mimed death in his seat.

"Naruto..." came Iruka's voice, trailing off dangerously.

Iruka-baka again. Would this guy ever be off his case?

The young boy leveled a baleful glare at the instructor, but Iruka was already continuing with the mind numbing lesson. He wondered how could such simple junk have ever been beyond his genius level intellect. Having memorized his textbooks and completed additional workbook exercises during the holidays, the young boy found the Academy to be dull and boring. Well, classroom stuff was boring anyway.

"Your turn, Naruto." came Shikamaru's laconic voice.

Glancing down, Naruto frowned at the shogi board and then glanced at the clock hanging over the blackboard . It had only taken five minutes for Shikamaru to make move; either this was a world record - because the other boy had actually fallen asleep between turns more than once – or Shikamaru was moving in for the kill.

Weighing his options with the Grim Resolve of Determination, Naruto moved a piece several seconds later; after all, a Hero had to make the hard choices that no one else could.

Clack.

Naruto grinned. Lets see what he does about that!

Clack.

Shikamaru moved a piece forwards.

Oh shit.

Studying board carefully, Naruto almost broke out into a grin. Suddenly everything made sense. Hehehe. Well, we'll just have to see about this!

Clack.

Naruto moved a piece forwards.

Clack.

Clack.

Clack.

Clack.

The little jinchuriki stared down at the board in befuddlement.

"Game over, Naruto." said Shikamaru, smirking in victory as he gently laid his piece on the board.

_Damn! A__nother victory for the forces of Darkness_. Thought Naruto with a frown, mentally going over the game in his head.

"What do you say we make things interesting, Shika?" asked the blond boy suddenly.

The other boy glared suspiciously at Naruto. "Hey. Hey. I beat you fair and square."

Naruto just grinned. "Don't worry Shika, I won't prank you."

Shikamaru did not look particularly reassured. The tubby boy beside Shikamaru coughed something that sounded suspiciously like 'bullshit'.

"Have you ever heard of Lightning Shogi?" continued the blond boy innocently.

Shikamaru narrowed his eyes. "What's that?"

"Its shogi, but with a twist, every move must be made within ten seconds." explained Naruto.

"So what's the catch?"

"If you win, I'll do your math and ciphers homework for month."

"And if you win?" asked Shikamaru suspiciously.

"Me and Shino do some light sparring, every other Saturday. Taijutsu and Bukijutsu. Training ground One – One – Seven. Join us. Oh yeah, bring Chouji too."

"Sparring practice?" asked Shino, one eyebrow raised in question.

Naruto glared at Shino.

"Ah yes, sparring. Please join us. It would be mutually beneficial for all."

Chouji and Shikmaru traded a look, doing their whole 'talking without actually talking' thing.

"Just think, win ten games and you'll be set for the entire year, Shika." added Naruto, trying to sweeten the pot.

"Only if you help with Chouji's homework too." said Shikamaru emphatically.

"Deal."

This time, the game only last fived minutes, finishing just in time for the bell.

.

.

The horse drawn cart came to halt in front of a drapery.

"Hurry up, gaki!" said the thickset man with the reins.

"Yeah, yeah. Just don't be a bastard and leave be behind again." said Naruto with feeling as he jumped off. "Or else, who knows what might happen?"

The driver grunted but did not comment, choosing instead to light up a cheap cigar.

Inside the drapery, Naruto made his way down a aisle overflowing with merchandise and into a large back room behind the counter.

Tak tak tak tak tak tak tak tak tak tak.

There was a tall, wizened old woman who sat at a large wooden desk, going over a ledger with an abacus, her spidery fingers working the abacus in lightning quick motions. Like nearly all members of her clan, she wore dark shades and heavy robes that concealed most of her body and face. Naruto presented the receipt Sasori had given him. Without a word, the lady motioned to an assistant who went somewhere further in the back and came back with a small package, covered in coarse brown wrapping paper.

Unzipping his courier bag, Naruto fished out an envelop marked 'A. Silk'. He handed it over to be counted. Satisfied, the Aburame lady nodded at her assistant.

A few minutes later, Naruto hopped back on the cart and took his place in the back, next to the stuff that Sasori had ordered.

.

.

Several coolies went about unloading the goods from the back of the carts.

"That's everything?"

"That's everything, kid." replied a burly man, handing a clipboard to Naruto.

Naruto signed with a flourish, carefully slipping several notes in between the pages as he handed the clipboard back.

"Much obliged." said the big man, smiling down at the little boy before turning to his men. "Come on, hop to it you sad sack sons of bitches." he hollered as he walked out the back of the shop towards the laden carts.

A few curses were lobbed back and there was some general muttering about how the supervisor was useless piece of shit. Naruto watched the coarse coolies move leather, wood, some rocks, a couple of batches of ceramic tiles and barrels of who knew what. He would have lent a hand, but most of what Sasori had ordered weighted more than he did.

The clear ring of the shop's bell broke his concentration.

Hurrying inside, he found that the door to workshop locked tight. Shadows danced under the door and hot air rushed out, warming his feet.

Heading up a staircase, Naruto came out next to the break room. Turning, he passed the workspace used for paperwork. Hopping on a large wooden stool brought most of his head above the store counter.

There were a couple of chunins stalking up and down the glove and claw section, pointing and mumbling at this and that.

"Can I help you?" asked Naruto, careful to keep his tone polite as he put on a sincere smile that Sasori had assured him was necessary keep things moving along smoothly.

They seemed a little nonplussed at his appearance.

The two chunin did that grownup glance at each but lets not actually do anything for a moment.

One of them coughed. "We heard that this guy, Sasori, does B-rank seal stuff for weapons and armor. Is that true?" asked one of the chunin, breaking the awkward silence.

"Yeah, one sec, I'll go get him. What did you guys want?" replied Naruto politely, eager to play along.

"Let says I'm looking for a storage seal with a little...oomph on release." answered the chunin, smiling in an attempt to break the ice.

Naruto did not bother to reply, with a polite nod, he left. He reached the break room before bumping into Sasori.

"Sasori, there's -"

"I know. Incidentally, isn't there a lecture or something going on somewhere?" said Sasori, cutting off the young jinchuriki in midsentence.

"What about-"

Sasori simply walked by, heading out into the shop. Naruto could hear him greeting the chunin.

Fuming at his dismissal, Naruto turned and bumped into Sasori.

Three of them, in fact.

What the fu-

"I think that I have everything under control, disciple." replied the middle Sasori, the fingers of his left hand twitching occasionally.

Oh. Puppets.

The Sasori on the right held up its hand.

Naruto's elation turned to dread as he saw what it was holding.

His courier bag.

The Sasori on the left made a show of looking at the clock. "You have twelve minutes to make it to Konoha General. You just might make, if you hurry."

Frustrated and cornered, Naruto grabbed his bag and stomped off, planning his revenge.

.

.

Konoha General is more than just a hospital.

The entire north-east section is dedicated exclusively to learning. There are lecture halls, classrooms and laboratories, complete with dormitories, apartments, and houses which accommodates both students and staff. Naturally, the higher one's rank in the chain of command, the better the accommodation which can be expected.

Naruto hurried past the quad, passing milling students and staff on their breaks. He stopped at the notice board and paused for a few minutes.

It took him roughly twenty seven seconds to alter his frame of mind.

Feeling calm and focused, the little jinchuriki opened his eyes and took in the public complex map and the oh so useful 'you are here' dot. Unbidden, a mental image of the campus coalesced in his mind. It was hardly concrete, but it will have to do.

Seven minutes later, the blond haired boy ran up several staircases, narrowly avoiding head long collisions in several instances. The sight of a student rushing to class is hardly uncommon. Students will be students, after all.

But the sight of Uzumaki Naruto, The Bane of Konoha, Little Blond Devil, Delinquent Terror of the Streets, rushing to and fro, asking directions to classroom Seven - Nine , is not. Several harried people and two paperwork explosions later saw the little jinchuriki parked in the back of a small lecture theater.

No way is he afraid.

Uzumaki Naruto is not afraid of anything.

He is merely being tactically sound; there is a clear line of sight on everyone below him and the big desks ensure that not everyone can see him should he decide to start shooting paper wads at people.

_Hehehe. I'm such a genius_. Thought Naruto with smug pride at his tactical prowess.

A bunch of people – students probably, are entering in now. Most were older than him. Seven of them...seem younger. Every one of them looked like a Teacher's Pet.

Naruto knew then that this was Place of the Damned for surely they have all been warped by the power the Homework and corrupted beyond all recognition of humanity._ That's it_. Thought Naruto with contempt. He decided to bail the moment recess came around.

Its not like learning to be a medic can be hard right? Pfft, he'd just memorize everything using the technique Sasori taught him and then replay it to get into Kabuto's study group.

Lets see how _they_ like to be manipulated and moved around across the board like shogi pieces. _Bastards_.

Besides, nobody could be worse than Iruka-baka.

.

.

The clock chimed as it as it struck six thirty.

Naruto briefly glanced up at it, hoping beyond hope that recess had finally come but steeling himself nevertheless. He is a warrior of justice and knew that there could be no reprieve, merely lulls between battles, for such is his unending task in the service of Good.

Still...

...this class is like no other class he had ever attended.

There were no periods like at the Academy, where you had maths, ciphers and then geography or something before taijutsu or bukijutsu.

Worst of all, there was no recess!

Beyond even that unimaginable diabolical horror...

...everyone – except Naruto – had packed snacks and drinks.

They had been in the classroom for nearly four hours now, occasionally taking a drink or bite during the class.

Eating in class!

And the teacher wasn't stopping them!

It was insane!

"Ok everyone, see you back here at seven thirty. Lets wrap this up by ten tonight, so no funny business. The more time you waste, the longer we have to sit here." said the instructor, Kuroda Tsubaki. She was short, well shorter than Iruka-baka. Shorter and definitely worst than Iruka-baka.

Once she had marched – Kuroda-sensei did not walk – into the classroom, it had been full speed ahead with the work.

Sometimes she used a projector with slides from a worn folder. Sometimes her hands blurred across the whiteboard, the marker and duster flying everywhere at once.

But worst of all where the times when she simply put down her teacher's stuff of Warping Homework Darkness of Doom and Damnation and said "Discuss" and everyone started talking at once.

The rub was that the scenarios or questions she asked were not in the textbooks or any of the workbooks.

She was actually making the shit up!

It did not help that he never raised his hand, like everyone in the first four rows did. Kuroda-sensei asked: "What do you think about this, Uzumaki-san?"

As far as Naruto knew, classrooms were never places for discussions.

The teacher or whatever bastard just stood there, explained whatever they wanted you to learn and then you repeated it back.

When asked, you simply said the right answer and the teacher moved on. Sure, he'd discuss some stuff with Sasori and Kabuto, but at that moment, looking down at the sea of expectant faces, Naruto found his mind uncomfortably blank.

Kuroda-sensei didn't want rote answers, he'd seen how mad she got when someone in the second row did that when she asked a question. And if you answer was not good enough or something, she would change the question. What the hell was up with that?!

She was cheating by changing the question!

The rumblings of The Great Beast broke the little jinchuriki's train of thought. Naruto rubbed his stomach. Boy, he could go for some Ichiraku's right now.

Stashing his stuff in his bag, Naruto rushed out the classroom.

.

.

The world disappeared in a blur.

Instead of coming to a full stop, Naruto fell head over heels.

He rolled with the flow to disperse the extra energy. Even so, the blond boy still skidded when he came out of the roll and he was forced to place one hand on the ground to increase his drag as he slid down a street.

He came to a painful stop just before some trashcans. They practically oozed resentment at Naruto for not smashing into them.

Looking down at his hand, Naruto cursed softly. Just great. His palm was grazed and three fingers were bleeding. Two had broken nails. Right now, there was adrenalin in his system but the moment that faded it would hurt like a bitch. The little jinchuriki quickly applied what medical jutsu he knew to speed up the recovery and suppress the tingling pain that was already starting. Say what you want about broken nails, they were annoying as hell to deal with.

Now dust marred the Holy Orange. His shirt spirit was wailing in agony!

The trashcans were now oozing smug contentment.

Naruto's grumbling was cut short when he saw the inviting light of the Ichiraku.

It was a heavy weight, yes, but he had borne heavier on his weary shoulders. He was the Hero after all.

A quick check confirmed that there were no other customers there.

"Hey Uncle!" shouted Naruto exuberantly as he hopped on a stool.

Teuchi grinned at the sound of his voice. "Hey. My favorite customer. Where have you been?" asked the stocky cook.

"Bleh. Just life, I'll tell ya all about it, in the meantime-" Naruto slammed down a wad of cash on the counter. "-I need thirty bowls of your best miso ramen!"

Teuchi was shaking his head ruefully but stopped when he saw the wad of bills. "Looking to make up for lost time, Naruto?" he asked, already reaching for the noodle ladle with his right hand as he picked up the soup ladle.

"Eh. I got a job now, Uncle. He's a slave driver but at least its money. And don't worry about that, I want some veggies in my ramen."

Now that got Teuchi's attention. "You do?" he asked, stunned. In all his years, Naruto had never wanted that. The boy had nearly thrown a fit when he accidentally added some; the young boy had been adamant that they were poisonous.

'Yeah! And a boiled egg with every bowl!" replied Naruto, still grinning.

Laughing, the old man quickly reached for the shallot slivers and chopped cabbage, adding a dash of ginger before making a show of adding some beansprouts.

"These will make you shoot up, little boy. Hey, don't glare at me. Had you eaten your veggies from the start, you wouldn't be so little." said Teuchi jokingly, grinning down at his favorite customer as he place a large bowl of miso ramen, the first of many, on the counter.

"You'll see, old man! The Ramen Gods favor me before all others!" replied Naruto before tucking into his food with gusto.

Somehow, the stress from everything just faded away.

Just like before, no matter what happened, Naruto found that Uncle Teuchi could fix nearly anything with a bowl of miso ramen.

.

.

Two stacks of bowls were raised homage to the Ramen Gods.

Grinning, Naruto gulped down an entire glass of iced pear juice, with just a little sugar added for that extra boost.

"Twelve bowls, Uncle! Count em and weep! And this is only the beginning!" proclaimed Naruto triumphantly.

"You sure you don't want some tea or warm water? Its better for you than all these cold drinks." asked Teuchi calmly, having seen it all before.

Naruto stared at the ramen cook.

Teuchi stared back at the little boy.

"You're an old man, Uncle." said Naruto in a deadpan. " But I'll never grow old!" exclaimed the little boy as he held up his glass.

The ramen cook made a face like Naruto was going to be the death of him. Still, he poured more juice, ice clinking as it tumbled into the glass. Turning to his other customer, he asked: "Will that be everything, miss?"

"Yes, thank you. Here." said a brown haired lady in a chunin vest as she paid.

It was Kuroda-sensei.

Naruto mimed a fish for several moments. How the hell did she come here?

And why the hell was she here?!

Now his one place of ramen zen was defiled. Defiled!

_Ichiraku's must be reconsecrated_. Thought Naruto sourly. _Hmm, I shall devour a hundred bowls of ramen to appease my patrons. Yesss_. That was how the story should go...

"Good evening, Uzumaki-san. Perhaps we should hurry. Class starts in five minutes. Would you like to catch a ride with me?" asked his teacher, holding out her hand, oblivious to the chaos she had caused and the disharmony that was now destroying everything he held dear.

Take _Her_ hand?!

No way. He was not a _baby_. He'd do it by himself. Naruto did not need help from some stupid instructor, Sworn Enemy of the Ramen Gods and Arch Traitor of all that was Good. It would probably be better if he did not phrase it like that though. Especially the bit about the Ramen Gods Undivided.

"Uhh...I'm ok. I'll see you there." replied Naruto hesitantly.

"Very well, I'll see you in class." replied Kuroda with a kind smile. Thanking Ichiraku again, she took several steps out the small stand and disappeared in between one step and another.

_What a show off_. Thought Naruto sourly.

.

.

Naruto lashed out with a series of kicks that put Shikamaru on the defensive.

_This is too eas-_

Just before the little jinchuriki could land his last kick, the Nara boy dropped his arms and ducked under the kick.

Surprise stole Naruto's initiative for a second.

Grabbing hold of the leg in the air, Shikamaru pushed it up and away while he moved into the open space created. Instead of fighting to bring his leg back down, Naruto leveraged himself against his opponent's body and tried to bring his second leg up against the other boy's face.

_Lets see how he likes that!_

Instead of rising like he had expected, Naruto found his leg blocked. Glancing down, he saw that Shikamaru had extended his own leg forward.

_Oh shi-_

Dangerously unbalanced, Shikamaru simply pushed, ever so lightly.

Both boys went down in a tumble of legs and arms, wrestling furiously. Despite Naruto's best efforts to trap Shikamaru in an arm lock, the dark haired boy writhed like a snake. Suddenly, the Nara boy had a knee beside Naruto's head and a foot at his throat.

Shikamaru leaned forwards...

.

.

The pungent aroma of smelling salts woke Naruto.

He inhaled.

In hindsight, that was a bad idea.

Hacking and coughing, the little jinchuriki tried to get up and stumbled into Shino, who held him up for several minutes as Naruto took hungry lungfuls of air. Across from them, Chouji pocketed the smelling salts, barely hiding a wide grin.

"Perhaps you should have tapped out." said Shino after several moments.

_No duh._ "Hehehe. I almost got him in the end." replied Naruto, still a bit woozy.

Naruto parked himself on a log that Chouji had moved there. Despite being fa – really tubby and big boned – the Akimichi boy was physically stronger than him, Shino and Shikmaru put together. In fact, Naruto suspected Chouji could have moved the log all by himself but Shikamaru had insisted they all pitch in.

"Wanna hit the weapon's range?" asked Naruto, arranging his shuriken in his hand for quick throws. No way was he going to lose to Shikamaru again. This time, he would smoke him like a fine cigar.

The boy in question was staring at the ongoing spar between Chouji and Shino. The little jinchuriki was about to repeat himself when Shikamaru glanced at him strangely, as if confused. The Nara boy seemed to realize this though and quickly turned to face the spar again.

"We should watch the fight." said Shikamaru after a moment, lost in thought. "There is much we can learn."

Naruto stopped messing with his shuriken and tried to pay attention to the fighting. It was just a fight; what could they possibly learn from it? As usual, Chouji was trying for a grapple and Shino was content to play it safe with hit and run, like everyone who faced the Akimichi boy did.

Getting frustrated, the brown haired boy reached for his practice kunai, sending several at Shino in quick succession as he moved forwards, trying to get into range.

Shino batted the kunai away, dancing backwards. As he did though, Chouji burst forward quickly, coming up beside Shino who tried to shift momentum and get behind the tubby boy for a kidney blow, one of the few instant win options for kunai.

Despite his size, Chouji somehow turned in mid stride and tripped Shino even as he fell.

Game over.

The tubby boy recovered first and closed the distance between his opponent in a flash. In a second, Shino was hoisted high above Chouji's head.

Wisely, the Aburame boy tapped out.

Unless you were insanely skilled like Sasuke or in Kiba's case, insane, you were pretty much toast if Chouji got in close.

.

.

A shiny five ryo coin tumbled on to the countertop.

Gritting his teeth, Naruto glared at the coin.

Seated across from the little boy, Sasori had four coins dancing across his left hand while his right hand was _somehow_ folding – mashing a small piece of paper into a paper crane.

How was that even possible?!

The red headed shopkeeper placed a slightly crumpled paper crane on the countertop beside the shop strongbox. Jerking his left hand up suddenly, the shiny coins hung in the hair for a second before disappearing into Sasori's right hand. Opening his right hand, the red headed boy showed that there was nothing there.

Clink clink clink clink.

Four five ryo coins fell from Sasori's left hand, landing one on top of the other.

Despite having his usual serene expression plastered all over his face, Naruto could tell that Sasori was very, very pleased with himself.

_Artist. Yeah right. Read 'self absorbed'. Obviously Sasori was an attention whor-_

"Yes, Naruto. I am smug." said the shopkeeper in a voice that was wholly unrepentant.

_How did h-_

"No, I am not a mind reader."

Naruto glared at Sasori suspiciously.

Rolling his eyes, the older boy made a single handseal and disappeared under a cloud of smoke.

Bright blue eyes stared back at him. No way was his face _that_ expressive...was it?

Another handseal broke the transformation.

"I've been practicing, but it comes out wrong." said Naruto sourly. Why the hell did he have to practice this stupid Noh Mask thing anyway? And now lame coins tricks?

Origami...such was his Damnation that now...

...Naruto was on the path to learning Kunoichi stuff.

Eww.

He felt Unclean. Tarnished.

His immortal soul would probably be forever scarred by this.

Suddenly Naruto had a vision.

It was beginning and the end. The entropy of the world. Slowly, the sun became cold and dark, a puncture wound in the fabric of the world. He saw himself learning the Darkest of all Kunoichi arts.

Fangirling.

Bloody tears of Manliness began to trail down his face as he quickly repeated the Mantra of Purity to gird his soul from Corruption. Naruto would _never_ sink to such depths. Only idiots like Sakura and Ino and the worst half of their class would, oh and Sasuke as well. He didn't deserve to be a called a Man anymore. Yeah. He was a Bastard, so it was only natural he be mixed up in this. Hmm, this train of thought wasn't so bad.

Sasori was looking kind of pissed.

Naruto shook his head, chasing the errant thoughts away. Focus!

Two months now as Sasori's disciple and they still had not started on Puppetry. They needed to have a serious talk about what the fuc-

"We work on this because it is essential for the next phase of your training, disciple." answered Sasori in a bored voice. "Just like these puzzles." he added after a moment, briefly touching the building blocks. "You only have three more to complete. It would be a shame if you stopped now."

"And making coins disappear in my hands is supposed to be a perquisite for puppetry? Or would that be the palm origami?" replied Naruto, unable to stop himself; there was simply no way you could fold origami with one hand.

It was physically impossible to do. There was absolutely no way it could be done.

Sasori gave him a pleased smile. The older boy loved messing with him. This guy really was a sadist or something.

"While good manual dexterity will help you control puppets, I was thinking of, I don't know, something more along the lines of pickpocketing a target or dropping a little poison into someone's morning tea. Perhaps a little diversion here to palm an item there...you know how it goes. What the eyes see and the ears hear, the mind believes."

Naruto's eyes grew to saucers. "Wait, this is actually a lesson?! Like a real lesson?"

Sasori made a show of resisting a sigh. With a snap of his fingers, he made a normal looking mannequin – puppet appear, clad in everyday working clothes. The pockets of the clothes the puppet wore were filled with small wads of cash and some pieces of paper. The back pocket was bulging with a small brown box.

With a sweep of his hand, a thin scroll unsealed several more puppets in different shapes and forms. One was a woman, carrying a doll in place of a baby. Another was some sort of official in dress robes, carrying a large scroll. There was one that looked like a ninja, but wearing a bandolier over a vest with twelve pouches. And then there was those shiny little...

_Oh boy_. Though Naruto sourly as his Great Beast dropped into an abyssal pit.

Each puppet had a tonne of small little bells attached all over their clothes, clustering around the pockets like deadly mines.

"As I said, Naruto. Manual dexterity." came Sasori's smug voice.

Naruto thought furiously, his eyes locked on the large scroll the scribe puppet thing was carrying. It practically screamed 'Secret Scroll Thingy'.

_My preciousss...come to me..._

The Secret Scroll Thingy remained resolutely in the puppet's arms.

"All things with time, my disciple." drawled Sasori, thin blue threads extending from his fingers and connecting with ten clothed puppets. He had nine walk over to the edge of the room while the 'Workingman' started a circuit around the room.

As the other chakra threads disconnected with the other puppets and connected with the Workingman, it seemed to gain...motion?

The arms seemed to move more smoothly as its gait changed, becoming a sort of feet drag... something. Naruto felt his mind becoming fuzzy as he tried to take in all the details at once.

Somehow the puppet just seemed more _alive._

Interesting.

"Care for a try, Naruto? Anything you manage to retrieve without setting off a bell will be yours to keep." came Sasori's voice again, breaking Naruto's train of thought.

_My preciousss, I come for you!_

.

.

Sasori waited until Naruto began his daily meditations.

Implanted commands took over, helping with the mental transition. A montage of memories would come unbidden. Some growing clearer as others faded. Slowly, the mental architecture of Naruto's mind shifted. Soon, the little jinchuriki would be ready for some of Sasori's more deadly arts.

Once Naruto's breathing evened out, the Puppeteer counted several minutes before ghosting from the room.

He found Kabuto caressing some spiked armor in one of the shop's aisles.

The spy's hands found the weak spot at the gorget and lingered there for a moment. With a deft flick of his wrist, the silver haired boy closed his eyes, immersing himself in memories of warm arterial spurts and dying enemies.

Sasori carefully stopped himself and took in the sight of Kabuto reliving a kill.

Unbidden, the image of a young Kabuto, hiding under a sand covered tarp came to mind and Sasori felt a frisson of anger course through him like acid at the reminder.

The silver haired spy had been_ his_ puppet and that stupid Snake Summoner had taken him. Right under Sasori's nose, his own spy had become triple agent; well on his way to becoming a quintuplet agent intent on assassinating Orochimaru. If not for Sasori's quick intervention, who knew what chaos Kabuto would have caused. Now, Kabuto served as constant reminder of just how far he had fallen.

Had he not been such a skilled agent, Sasori would have killed him long ago, simply to be rid of it.

One day soon, he promised himself. When his plans finally came to fruition, he would be sure to spend a lot of time with Orochimaru. They would get to know one another deeply. One might even say, intimately. After all, the red headed boy fully planned on adding the Snake Summoner to his Collection.

Sasori smiled inwardly.

In Kusa culture, snakes represented rebirth and renewal. Turning that traitorous snake into his puppet would make for a fine catharsis.

The spy detected the click of Sasori's sandals. A single second was all it took for Kabuto to wash away the joyous expression on his face. With a polite smile and earnest expression firmly in place, he left the warm blood behind. He found Sasori going over a ledger.

"I've managed to obtain two of the five blood samples you requested. The other three are impossible right now. As for the delivery, that should be here by the end of the month." reported the silvery haired medic.

"Very good. The chemicals?" asked Sasori, his mind already ablaze with plans.

"By week's end. How is your disciple coming?"

"Impatient and frustrated at the slow march. How are his studies going over at the hospital?"

"I've secured him a slot in the top medic class, by all accounts he is seriously challenged. It won't be long before they realize how much use he can be in surgery though. I won't be able to block his transfer."

"But you will try anyway."

"Trying to push him to the edge?" asked Kabuto worriedly, the picture of brotherly concern.

Sasori grinned.

"Merely another level."

.

.

Naruto hated the smell of hospitals.

It was just so...clean.

Antiseptic and Clear Meadow, or whatever the air freshener they used was called.

The fact remained that it sucked.

"Alright class, lets begin." came Kuroda-sensei's voice from the middle of the room.

On the metal table in front of Naruto was a dead body.

A real, live dead body.

Well...not live anymore...but it was definitely dead. If it got up, would that count as alive?

Maybe it would count as Zombie.

Zombie Outbreak Apocalypse! Brains. Give us brains!

"Oii. Stop zoning out. Seriously." came a girl's voice.

"Forget him, lets just get to work and finish, if she catches us slacking off we'll be 'volunteering' again." said a boy.

The boy and girl shivered at the memory; Kuroda-sensei had a habit of 'volunteering' students to help around the General Hospital; all students were expected to help out at the General Hospital, doing grunt work in the trenches so that they could learn first hand. However, there was a vast difference between cleaning bedpans and writing prescriptions.

Across from Naruto sat Nara Misato and Nara Shiroshi, twisted hell spawn of Homework's corrupting influence.

A quick game of Rock – Paper – Scissors gave Misato the job of writing things down on a clipboard while Shiroshi had to weight the organs and help with the...

Oh shit.

The two Nara children looked at Naruto.

These bastards decided to give him the short end of the stick, eh?

Well, we'll just see about that!

With a sigh, Naruto began the handseals that Kabuto had taught him. A few minutes later, the faint greenish hue of chakra appeared around his palm. Focusing, the blond haired boy brought his considerable chakra reserves to bear.

Lets see how they like this.

As the chakra changed to a slightly darker shade of green, the small scapel grew into a short saw of coruscating chakra. Naruto felt slightly lightheaded as he focused his chakra. On reflex, he mentally recited the trance mantras that Sasori had taught him and felt the pressure recede.

Naruto began with chest, dragging his fingers across the torso, easily breaking the ribcage. A few flicks of his hand – just like how Kabuto had done it two nights before – and the ribs broke one by one as Naruto moved around the corpse.

"There you go. Assholes. Your turn." said Naruto in a polite voice, finishing with a smile.

Dumping him with all the hard work, what bastards.

Instead of...well reacting, the Nara children just groaned.

Shiroshi placed bulky rib cutters aside. He and Misato then opened the ribs, no need for clamps or vices to pry over the ribs. Just like Kabuto had said, you could open up the whole ribcage like a flower. From there you could reach just about everythi-

"Good going, dipshit." said Misato tiredly as Shiroshi picked up a organ.

"What's wrong?" asked Naruto, genuinely curious.

In reply, Shiroshi placed the organ on scales. It was cut deeply. Slowly, the Nara boy coaxed a shard of bone out.

Naruto grimaced. That definitely did not happen when Kabuto had done the autopsy.

"The rest?" asked Misato tiredly.

"All have some degree of laceration. None are salvageable. Its like he used an explosive tag or something. They're shredded. Parts are just pulp."

Misato gave a long suffering sigh. "Look, new guy. That really was a cool technique you used to break the bones and everything but try to at least _crawl_ before you start reinventing the damn whe-"

"How are things going?" came a woman's voice.

Kuroda-sensei.

Shit.

.

.

Calligraphy lessons.

By all that was Ramen, Sasori was a sadistic fuc-

"Hi."

Naruto looked up from his sandbox, resting his stylus on one side so as not to disturb the sand. The dark haired boy seated beside him had white skin.

White. Skin.

As in paper white.

"My name is Sai."

Cue facial muscles slowly moving.

A smile.

Naruto blinked. There was something...seriously off about this guy.

"Uhh. Hey! My name's Naruto." replied Naruto hesitantly, mentally smacking himself over the head. He sounded like such a idiot.

"What are you doing?" asked Sai, a weird smile still plastered on his face.

"Ca-Calligraphy. I've been told I need neater handwriting." replied Naruto a little nervously. He was nearly eleven for crying out loud.

"Ah, so you've just joined?" replied the fair skinned boy smoothly.

"Yeah."

"Cool. Me too. I hope to improve my drawings."

"Oh, you draw?"

"Yes, would you like to see?" said Sai, a small notebook in his hand.

Something changed with the way this guy was talking.

A quick check confirmed that the teacher was busy helping another student with her sandbox, carefully helping to trace the proper brushstrokes in the fine sand.

Flipping open the book, Naruto found it filled with pictures of people.

There was a farmer with a rake and a fisherman with a line of fish. A wizened old lady in muslin robes, some prayer beads in her hands. Opposite her was samurai warrior in full wargear, a drawn nodachi in his hands, held overhead for a strike. In another, a young woman with long black hair held hands with a child.

They were...lifelike. Was this what Sasori meant by Realism?

"Cool." said Naruto as he continued flipping the pages.

Sai's smiled. "Do you draw?" asked the dark haired boy.

"Eh, sometimes. I want my comics to be featured in Shonen Jump someday. I'll be famous!" declared Naruto.

"What is Shonen Jump?" asked the pale skinned boy.

Naruto stared at Sai. The sudden, searing pain that gripped his heart was like a lance of pure desolation. No what kind of depraved life have you been forced to live!?

Everyone was staring at them. He had actually said that out loud.

"I think you mean 'deprived', Naruto-san." said Sai, still smiling his weird smile. Either he was oblivious to the stares or he did not care.

The calligraphy teacher, an old man named Choedan was making his way over to them, an angry frown on his face.

Bummer.

.

.

"So you were orphaned during the Kyuubi attack?" asked a small blond haired boy over a stack of _R__uroni_ comics.

"Yes, but Konoha has been good to me. Thanks to them, my life continues." answered the pale skinned boy as he flipped through something. The cover depicted a boy dressed in some training gi, a scaly dragon behind him.

"You..you aren't angry about the Kyuubi?" asked Naruto hesitantly.

Sai blinked once. Twice.

"The Kyuubi attack, it was like a force of Nature, Naruto. When the rain comes, it falls on the good and bad. What happened, happened. Neither of us can change that." replied the fair skinned boy peaceably.

"Oh." replied Naruto sedately, lost in thought.

Closing the comic, Sai picked up another, this one with a dark haired boy and a red headed girl in training gi. "What matters is now the future I can shape, thanks to Konoha."

There it was again. That...quality in his voice.

"You really like the Village, huh?" asked Naruto. Even as the words left his lips, he suddenly felt stupid for having asked.

"Oh, yes. Konoha has provided me with clothes, food and a home. I'm even signed up for the Chunin Reserve Program!"

"I've neve- Oh. I haven't seen you at the Academy."

"I only studied there for a while. I flunked my Genin exam so..."

Neither boy spoke. In time, they returned to the comics.

By the time they left, both were carrying stacks of books. All of which Sai had to read if he wished to save his soul.

They parted with a promise to meet up that weekend.

.

.

"It's impossible."

"Nothing is impossible. Use your mind." replied Sasori, not even turning from his workbench as he fiddled with a puppet.

All the while, the puzzle blocks were doing a rendition of "nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeeeeeeeh"

For the life of him, Naruto could not figure out how to finish the damn thing. The pieces just would not fit together. Nothing made sense.

"Can't we do hand tricks? I'm not going to get this today."

"No."

"Ok then, I'll practise my calligraphy."

Sasori made one of the magnification lens thingies swing down on his weird spectacles as he leaned over the worktable. He did not reply.

Fine, if he wanted to be a Bastard then fine.

Naruto crossed his arms.

Somehow, Sasori knew. Turning back to his disciple, he took off the spectacles and packed his tools.

"Tell me, Naruto, do you know where your drive lies?

Oh, now he was going to try and reason with him? _Probably with some mumbo jumbo or BS pulled from the air_. Thought Naruto as he scrunched up his face and glared at the older boy.

"You been studying at the Academy for many years, but before me, did you ever apply yourself seriously to your studies?"

"..."

Seeing as he was getting no where, Sasori said: "I heard someone broke into the teacher's lounge at the Hospital.

Eyes down, up, down and glancing up again.

"The meditation technique for focus, the mnemonics exercises, the pills and special medicine I gave you. You know what they are, Naruto?"

The little jinchuriki kept his face neutral.

Sasori continued on calmly: "They are tools, Naruto. Nothing more, nothing less. Having them makes the journey easier but it does not remove the road you must travel."

The red headed boy's voice became short, dripping with disgust. "Just because you memorize your textbooks and exam papers does not mean you will prevail in your medical studies. I could give you scrolls detailing techniques and forms that would allow you to defeat even multiple jounin simultaneously."

This time, Naruto's gaze did return to the floor and Sasori smiled inwardly.

Time to sweeten the bait.

"I have genjutsu that grants both the greatest raptures and darkest despairs. A taijutsu form specifically designed to defeat the Jyuken. My arsenal includes ninjutsu techniques to destroy targets, utterly, leaving no trace behind. All these and more...but what good are they for you? You can not even sit still."

Red in the face now, Naruto was about to reply when the world around him shifted.

Suddenly he was in the middle of the Academy Sparring Grounds, surrounded by people. His left foot was resting on...Sasuke's bruised cheek.

A wave of sound buffeted the little boy.

It took a moment for him to realize that they were shouting his name.

The little jinchuriki's eyes were drawn to a large orange banner proclaiming: "Uzumaki Naruto, Rookie of the Year!"

Time slowed to a crawl.

Stopped.

A section of the crowd disappeared in wisp of smoke, revealing a teenage boy in heavy robes. Sasori was not smiling or gloating or wearing his serene 'I am at peace' expression but somehow...

...Naruto felt that he had failed.

Bigtime.

"Correct me if I am wrong, but for the last four or five years, this has been your dream?"

The blond haired boy felt his eyes tearing up even as he denied it. Sasori had no right to fuck around like this.

"Yet all your thoughts seem to fly here. You do not care – not really – about your medical studies. The appeal there is Kabuto, nothing else."

"..."

"Do not think me cruel for belittling your dream. I am doing you a mercy. If this is what you want in life, then you had best quit the Academy after you defeat the Uchiha."

The Academy grounds faded and they were back in the workshop. Naruto was about to bolt when Sasori appeared beside him and placed his palm on the little boy's shoulder. Something ran through him, freezing his body.

"In mortal combat, it matters not how much money you have, who your relatives are or what societal position you may hold. Nothing matters except you and your opponent. Life or death, Naruto. It is not some game where we shake hands and make up. They will be trying their very hardest to kill you. I need to know that you are committed. You must be ready to employ every tool at your-"

With great effort, Naruto disrupted the paralysis technique and attacked Sasori with a snarl.

The older boy simply stepped aside and held his arm out, right under Naruto's jaw.

Hacking and coughing, the jinchuriki just managed to stop himself from throwing up. With trembling hands, he activated the Mystical Palm technique and brought his hands up to his throat. Slowly, the pain faded.

"Forgive me, Naruto. I acted hastily." continued Sasori in a distant voice, as if nothing had happened. "You have immense potential but clearly you are unwilling to go the distance. Like so many others..."

A small brown envelop fell to the floor.

"Your severance pay."

Sasori turned to leave. He made it halfway up the stairs before tilting his head to one side. The little brown envelop sailed past him, barely ruffling his hair.

"What the FUCK did I ever do wrong?" screamed Naruto as he ripped open a shuriken box.

The other boy did not reply.

Naruto loosed half the box in one volley. The other following swiftly behind.

Both volleys of shuriken flew wide, lopped around and then dug themselves into the ground around the little jinchuriki.

Even as the realisation hit him, the world around him shimmered again.

Sasori was still seated.

Naruto was standing in the middle of the room, panting and...throwing shuriken at the earthen floor.

"You really should talk to someone about your anger, Naruto. I hear Academy actually has their own psychi-"

"Fuck you."

"A witty defense." replied the red headed boy in a jovial tone.

Sasori...was not angry?

Not dissapointed...

...that sick bastard. He wanted this.

Naruto scowled. With as much venom as he could muster he asked: "You get your jollies off by messing with kids?"

The red headed boy started laughing. A full, deep throated laugh that filled the room.

Fuming, Naruto barely managed to keep his temper in check.

After a while, Sasori finally wound down, shaking his head and sighing. "Oh, Naruto. I forget that you've read oh so many magazines."

For some stupid reason, the little jinchuriki felt a blush coming on. What the hell was wrong today! Everything was just...Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

"You a sadistic bastard, Sasori." said Naruto, trying to keep his anger focused.

"A bastard? No. Sadistic? Yes. I most certainly am -"

Huh?

"- however, disciple, I am also your Master, so you'll just have to get used to it." continued the teenage boy in a drawl.

Pfft. Yeah right.

"Is this gonna be how your lessons go? Because it seems pretty lame as-"

"Why do you ask, Naruto? Afraid you can't hack it?" asked Sasori in a voice that suggested as much.

When Naruto did not reply, the older boy returned to the puppet he had been working on.

"What the hell does turning up at class or sitting still have to do with teaching me?" asked Naruto once he got his temper under control.

"Add to that your reticence for eating properly and your hesitation to employ your newest meditation technique. Simply put, I need to know that you hunger for improvement, Naruto. I need to know that you have the _drive_ to be my disciple. Instead, you've been dragging your feet this month. Had I not pushed you, I doubt you would even shown up for the lectures."

The little boy did not reply.

"Go now and think on whether you truly want to be my disciple. Are you wiling to make the sacrifices? Because I mean to train a supreme shinobi, not some Academy graduate."

"Oh, I get it" said Naruto heatedly. "You want me to give up the crown."

As always, there was _something_ more to pay. Some price that Sasori had conviniently 'forgotten' to mention. Now he wanted Naruto to give up the Rookie of the Year? No way!

The older boy smiled indulgently.

"Hardly, disciple. Achieving the Rookie of the Year award is cleary important to you. As you master, it would remiss of me not to help you attain it." replied Sasori serenely. For some reason, he seemed inordinately pleased with himself.

Careful now, Naruto picked up the shuriken from the floor to give himself time to think.

Obviously this was another retarded mind game. Act nice then nasty then nice again at the turn of a coin and pretend like it was all _his_ fault. Well not this time.

With great effort, Naruto managed to rise above the swell of his anger and enter the peaceful, trancelike state of thoughtfulness. For now at least, he was above the tempest.

Now, what the hell did Sasori want?

.

.

Go to class.

Eat properly.

Sit still.

Use the meditation technique.

...His mind could not connect the dots. If there even was any dots to connect; it was possible this was part of Sasori's stupid game.

Unbidden a voice said in his mind: "No problem can solved on the level by which it was created."

Sasori's maxim for solving difficult problems.

So what was the previous level?

And Naruto's mind supplied the answer: before you became Sasori's disciple.

So this bastard was somehow part of the problem...

...but that would mean that Naruto was also part of the problem.

No way!

He did everything Sasori wanted...right?

The things Sasori had mentioned...

...were all things that he felt Naruto should have done by himself.

The earlier conversation replayed in his head: _"had I not pushed you_..."

"I am dedicated." said Naruto slowly in a heated voice, glaring at Sasori. After all that had happened, he was getting grief about that?!

"Oh, that I do not doubt. But just how dedicated are you?" replied the older boy gleefully, cocking his head aside with a nasty smile.

"You want to become Hokage and defend Konoha?"

"Of course! I'll be the Bestest Hokage Ever!"

"Veggies in ramen? Hah. You can not even defeat your own stomach. How will you go toe to toe with the greatest warriors on the continent when your tummy is able to bend your will?" asked Sasori plainly.

"..."

"Mouthing the words of an oath does not make it real, Naruto. I need to know that you are _commited_."

"Just state what it is you want." said Naruto as calmly as he could.

"But I already have." replied Sasori in wounded manner.

Naruto nearly snorted at that. "Yeah, like I'm gonna agree to be 'commited'. Who knows what strings you've attached."

The older boy smiled but did not say anything for a moment.

"Trust me, Naruto."

"You know I do."

"Then follow my commands."

"...I already do."

"Ah. Ah. Ah. Just the slightest bit of hesitation there. Next time, be sure to leave that out." replied Sasori with a serene expression on his face. "In a nutshell, what I want is for you to obey my instruction. If I ask you to do something, do not question whether or not it will help you. Just do it."

"Like all the Homework so far?" asked Naruto in a snide voice.

"Still sore that you are have...what, four or was that six months worth of homework to do for your classmates?" countered the older boy coolly.

Naruto frowned but was unwilling to be drawn on the subject.

After a moment of silence, the little jinchuriki felt that Sasori was...somehow pleased.

The older boy made a large, barrel shapped puppet appear. It had one large head, some kind of demon, with several small, human heads clustered around the neck.

Before the little boy could study it any closer, the puppet spun and suddenly it was covered in a coarse clothes with a farmer's strawhat with leather strips hiding its features.

"The caligraphy lessons were to prepare you to study Sealing. I have not the time nor the inclination to decipher your chicken scratch. Besides, I heard that you picked up a sparring partner there."

Somewhat mollified, Naruto met Sasori's gaze.

"The shogi on the other hand is to prepare you for Puppetry."

A current went through the little jinchuriki and he sat up straight.

Ten faintly gleaming chakra strings appeared at the tips of Sasori's fingertips. In a flash, the building blocks were arranged like pieces on a shogi board. Coming around the table, the red headed boy diverted the strings to arrange an opposing army out of some nuts and bolts.

"One of the biggest weaknesses of Puppetry is that there is a slight delay, a lag if you will, between the transmitting of orders and its actual implementation by your puppet. Thus, to effectively employ puppetry, one must be able to read the flow of battle and not only predict the changes but be ready to meet them. Think of it as a version of high speed shogi."

And the building blocks did battle against the nuts and bolts. Before Naruto's eyes, the two armies did a rendition of lightning shogi with three moves a second.

"You, the King, will be controlling your army. Naturally...you will be the most vulnerable piece." finished Sasori with a nasty smile.

Naruto flushed at the implication but he kept his mouth shut. With effort he managed to redirect his mind to work on the lesson.

"And finally, the Noh Mask I asked you practice." said Sasori, gesturing to the puppet in farmer's clothes. "Unless you wish to meet a quick death, it is highly recommended that you be able to camouflage yourself. Like so."

Turning to his disciple, Sasori's face cracked.

What the fuc-

As the pieces of flesh hit the ground they cracked like potte- No way.

Pushing away his revulsion and shock, Naruto leapt on to the table. Eye level with the Zombi- Puppet thing, he socked in the jaw. Hard.

The Sasori Zombie Puppet fell, color fading from its skin as cracks started appearing all around. Its skin disintegrated in a wash of fine sand. A wig, some heavy robes and a vaguely human puppet were all that remained.

With a loud rumble, the barrel shaped puppet opened, revealing a red headed boy crouched inside.

"Are you happy now?"

Naruto's thoughts swam, making him lightheaded.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"It was a test."

"...You doubted me."

"Words are cheap, Naruto. I needed to see whether or not you were willing to follow my instruction, despite how it might make you feel."

The little boy averted his gaze, abashed.

"Learn this well, disciple. Strength comes from skill gained during training. Training takes time, effort and persistent dedication, as such there will be no power ups like in the comics you favor. These are life and death situations. Thus, you must be willing to utilize everything at your disposal if wish to win, no matter how you may feel about using-" here Sasori rolled his eyes and raised his hands for emphasis, "-'Darkside' techniques."

Naruto clenched his fists but let it pass. No way was he ever going to use Hate or Anger as a meditative focus. That was insane.

Turning from his disciple, Sasori took several scrolls from a pigeonhole in the wall. With quick, efficient motions he wrote a short note as he said: "Do you know why patience is the first lesson a smith must learn? Because the metal can only be worked when it is ready. Until you are, perhaps you should take some time and consider what you want in life. Meet me here in seven days if you wish to continue as my disciple."

Naruto said nothing, his thoughts still racing.

"For now though, please deliver these to Goro-san."

Taking the scrolls, the little jinchuriki disappeared without a word, grateful at the excuse to get away.

Only when he was completely alone did Sasori allow his fists to clench in satisfaction.

Phase Three complete.

* * *

**Clan Kids**: In this AU, they naturally trump most other students as they have in training since well before they could walk. They train from dawn to dusk with their clan instructors. As the result of their clan's selective breeding programs, these children have larger chakra pools, can regenerate chakra faster, heal quickly and are better equipped to focus and channel their chakra. More than that, they have a great drive to improve themselves. That said, their lives are not filled with rainbows and two headed puppies. More on these little super soldiers later.

**Power Levels**: There will be no quick power-ups. As such, Naruto - who has only begun applying himself - will not instant pawn the other students, as they have all been training longer.

**Genius level intellect**: Naruto does not actually have this. He is ten year old boy is a bit full of himself.

**Chunin Reserve Program**: Not everyone goes to the Academy. There are various other training programs, like the Young Medic program that Naruto currently attends.

* * *

**AN**: As always if there are any mistakes, please point them out and I'll get on them ASAP. So, any thoughts, comments, or suggestions?


	6. Along came a Spider

**Disclaimer: ** Kishimoto Masashi says that there many Kishimoto Masashi.

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The silence of the gloomy forest was broken by a rush of wind scattering leafs and the snap of twigs.

A bird, hunting for food, instinctively stilled at sound.

Looking down, it sighted two predators, locked in combat.

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Turning aside a blow, Shino's right arm snaked around his opponent's waist.

Bucking his hips, he failed to completely lift the other boy up. Quickly extending his right leg to counter the feeble turnaround his opponent was attempting, he changed the Hip Throw into a Sweeping Hip Throw. The brown haired boy tried to resist, but it was futile. Shino had claimed the Initiative and now with the Momentum on his side, he was like a whirlwind. Unstoppable in force. A loud crash caused the cacophony of the evening to quieten as animals and insects instinctively stilled.

Moving quickly, Shino palmed a practice kunai from the holster on his forearm as he moved over the body to secure his kill. The boy on the forest floor did not try to get to his feet. Instead, he immediately rolled aside, turning as he came into a crouch facing his enemy, weapon in hand. Dark tinted sunglasses reflected what little light there was. Slowly, the bushy haired boy rolled up his sleeve and returned the weapon to its holster with exaggerated care.

Still crouched in the dirt, brown haired boy narrowed his eyes in suspicion. Rising up, the panting boy was careful to keep the weapon in his concealed. A quick glance at the forest floor confirmed that there were no kikai massing nearby. Opening his arms, Shino took a step forward. Leafs underfoot shifted as they were forced into the soft earth. A twig cracked loudly. Slowly, he took down his hood and unbuttoned the high collar of his sea green jacket, allowing the cool evening air to wash over him. Taking a deep breath, he graced the boy opposite with a dark smile, enjoying confusion evident on the other's face.

"Why you ask?" he began in a lecturing tone, arms clasped behind his back. It became impossible to hide the glee in his voice. "Because you are already dead."

Two swift blows on the back of his knees floored him even as arms snaked around his neck. Jerking, the boy brought his left arm up as he reversed his grip on the kunai in his right palm. All he needed was a few se-

"So long, sucker." came a breathless voice behind him as a kunai was dragged across his jugular, leaving a trail of bright red paint that began irritating his skin, causing the whole area to redden. Even as his body went limp, he realized what he must do. Giving up on fighting the left hand, he fumbled for the string around his neck -

Shino's own hand caught his left wrist. Behind him, the blond twisted his right hand. Forcing him to let go of the practice kunai. Before he could protest, the tanned boy yanked at his string necklace.

"Better luck next time, Kenta." said his killer without malice, holstering his own kunai as he picked the one which had fallen. He tested its balance in his hand a few times. "You can pick this up at the shop."

His face lit up with a bright smile. "Maybe."

Kenta rubbed the side of his neck where the string had been pulled taut, carefully avoiding the stinging paint on his throat. Taking a moment to even out his breathing and calm his pulse, he let the tension roll off his body. He needed to regroup and being tense would not solve anything.

Shino took out a length of rope from his small backpack, causing the brown haired boy to tense warily; it was one thing to fall in combat, but the humiliation of being taken? Fists clenched automatically as his heart began drumming out a tattoo on his chest.

"Hehehehe. Its okay. You can trust us." said Naruto, smiling in a way that did nothing to reassure him.

The spectacled boy threw the rope down in the space between them. "The proctor's tent is seven hundred meters north west. If you take the rock face down, you can bypass most of the Fire Cliff trail and simply follow the stream back to the tents. Akira is roughly seventy meters south, where the three trees entwine. He is on the third branch up. That is...if you are interested in saving your friend." he finished, a hint of contempt marring his voice.

"Careful with the Base perimeter. Some weaklings have set ambushes to trap those returning. What a bunch of losers." scoffed the blond haired boy. "Hope you don't get caught, Kenta-chan~!" he said in sing song voice.

The brown haired boy flushed. He took a moment to remind himself that there were two of them and only one of him. He took stock of his situation; the acrid smell of the paint was beginning to overpower the earthy forest scent he had worked so hard to apply. When the wind picked up, it would effectively broadcast his location to all and sundry. Swallowing his pride, Kenta picked up the rope without taking his eyes off either of the two boys across him. "Good luck on the Hunt, Naruto...You too, Shino." he managed after a moment. With that, he vanished into the brush.

They watched him go, pausing to make sure he really left. Once certain, the two darted off into the bush. A hundred meters away, they paused briefly, scanning for a possible ambush. Only once Shino's kikai confirmed that their base was undisturbed did they enter.

The simple lean-to had been built that afternoon and hastily covered with what camouflage they could forage. Inside, Shino came the spot where they had buried their supply cache. Falling to his knees, he dug into the earth with his bare hands. Outside, electric blue eyes scanned the growing gloom, taking in every detail with perfect clarity. The sun was almost set and the temperature had already begun dropping. With a curse, he swatted a mosquito on his neck. Soon the forest would be filled with bloodsuckers, and not the were not sparkly kind. Wiping his sleeve across his forehead did nothing to get rid of the grime there.

Shino knelt down beside him, placing the canteen in the soft earth. He held out a packet of mango juice and some energy bars for his partner.

Grateful, the other boy scarfed down the food in between sips, careful to keep his eyes on the gloomy forest around them. Trying to cancel out the hunger – all participants had been forced to forgo both breakfast and lunch – he focused on the makeup of the food. Cereal with nuts and berries mixed in before being baked with honey. It was unbearably sweet and – worst of all – dry, causing his thirst to become even more pronounced.

Now that the ruckus of the fight had died down, his sharp eyes could make out several small bats flying through the trees, hunting for the insects whose song now filled the air.

"Don't drink too much." chided Shino when he saw that Naruto was about to take yet another gulp from the canteen. Grimacing, the blond haired boy stowed the bottle reluctantly.

"How many do we have?" asked Naruto, trying to get his mind off the thought of the water.

"Thirteen tags, including the one you snagged from Kenta."

"His partner?"

"Taken but not dead. I rectified that mistake forthwith. If they get caught before the tents I say we bring them back in ropes."

Naruto paused for a moment. He thought it was kind of lame that you needed to capture people even if you already had a bunch of Tags. "Ok."

While the main object of the Hunt was to collect the Tag around each student's neck, you could gain extra points for 'Capturing' and 'Returning Bodies'. That said, it was not really feasible to lug around dead weight in a competition like this.

Prisoners and Corpses had a tendency to whine, give away your position, tactics and generally be a pain in the ass if they got their gags out. Should anyone escape well... needless to say, things would get very, very bad.

"What was last year's high score?" asked the blond haired boy as he finished his last energy bar.

"Thirty one tags, ten 'Corpses', two 'Captured' by Uchiha Sasuke and Inuzuka Kiba." replied Shino monotonously.

_Holy cow._ Thought Naruto, impressed despite himself. _Well, we'll just have to do one better_. He resolved then and there. No way was the future Hokage going to lose. It was time to up the ante.

"It is time we took the fight to them." he began.

Shino remained silent, focusing on the gloomy forest, senses straining to detect any hint of approaching danger.

"Shikamaru must die."

"Naruto..." cautioned Shino. Ever since his friend had lost those shogi matches – and thus been stuck with several months worth of homework – he had been itching for just about any reason to go up against the spiky haired Nara boy again.

"They have the advantage, yeah. That's why they'll never see us coming." continued the other boy breathlessly, a grin growing on his face. Sensing that his partner remained unconvinced, he quickly added "I've got a plan."

_Oh. __Right.__ L__ike that just made everything better_. "A plan?" he asked dubiously.

"Yeah. I call it the Clockwork Orange Gambit." he proclaimed confidently, beaming in the gloom.

The bushy haired boy was not particularly reassured. From the sound of it, this plan spelt certain doom.

"Please take a moment and reconsider, Naruto." hissed Shino urgently. "Shikamaru's ninjutsu will be bolstered by nightfall. Nara clan tactics favor darkness. The edge will be his. We should wait the night out and attack at daybreak, when he will be at his weakest."

"Ah, but you forget something highly important." countered the blue eyed boy in a knowing voice.

_What the hell could he have missed?_ When his partner did not continue, he groaned inwardly and raised one eyebrow up in question.

"The brighter you are, the poisonous you must be. This is why Orange will rule the world!" proclaimed the blond haired boy exuberantly. "Besides, we gotta do this now. For breakfast, its gonna be Dog Breath and Duckboy on a platter. Come on. We'll own them!"

Rolling his eyes behind his glasses, Shino nonetheless failed to stop the beginnings of a smile from tugging at his lips. It was a good thing he had redone the high collar of his jacket. The face gave away too much information.

"I guess we can give it a shot." he said gloomily. _Why the hell had he agreed?_ Going up against Shikamaru's team in these conditions was suicide. At the very least he should have insisted on having this insane plan explained before agreeing to it. The moment he got out of here, he was having Naruto's enthusiasm declared an infectious disease.

"Can your kikai tell us where he is right now?" asked the blond haired boy, crossing his arms.

"No." The smile fell from his partner's face. "But I have pretty good idea."

Just as it had disappeared, the foxy grin returned in full force.

"Hehehe. Trust me, Shino. This is going to be so totally awesome!"

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Nara Shikamaru paused in his walk as he considered the hooded figure before him.

Face and form were hidden within the shade, surrounded by patch of bright moonlight. Tactically useful and yet needlessly dramatic. Obviously...

"You can come out now, Naruto."

The figure stiffened almost imperceptibly.

"Interesting fact, I can see perfectly in the dark. You are not fooling anyone."

_In fact, this is the most half baked plan I've ever come across_. Thought Shikamaru silently, sweat beading his brow as he silently pooled his shadow under his feet by conscious will alone.

Out of the corner of his eye, the spiky haired boy could make out his partner's form, creeping across the divide to flank Naruto and Shino. He folded his arms over his chest, hands forming the secret signal: Enemy Above.

"Hehehe. I suppose you've figured me out." said the hooded figure across him, adopting a more relaxed posture.

Eyes narrowing, the dark haired boy replied "Actually, I just guessed. You see, I can't see all that well in the dark. I just guessed. Thanks for the confirmation."

Surprise. Humiliation. Anger.

_This is almost too easy._ Smiling inwardly, Shikamaru felt his blood quickening with the anticipation of combat. _Even though Shino is much more level – headed. He can not help Naruto without giving away his position. A simple one – two attack plan where they kill me before ganging up on Chouji. Good thing I know about the kikai. Now..._

"You know, I sort of expected something like this." said the dark haired boy, more to stall Naruto than for real conversation. When he saw that he had the other's attention, he stepped forward, just enough for the moon's light to show the large grin on his face. "Of course, I had expected you to come forward with the offer of an alliance against Sasuke and Kiba, the real threat in this situation."

He sighed tiredly, letting his shoulders sag. "I should have known that would be too complicated for you. What a drag."

Instead anger, Naruto laughed in his face. Hale and hearty, its ring pierced the cold air.

"Ah, Shika. Therein is your greatest weakness." said the shadowy figure, amusement coloring its voice.

Brown eyes narrow. "Weakness?" he asked softly.

_Soon this would all be over. Just another three meters and the light effect will be negat..._

"Yes." replied the Dead Last, turning aside as hands clasped behind.

"And what would that be?" asked the spiky haired boy contemptuously. _He has probably drawn a weapon. But which hand hold__s__ the blade?_

"What you ask?" retorted a cold, dispassionate voice.

_Oh no. _With that horrifying realization, Shikamaru felt his blood turning to ice in his veins.

Stepping out of the darkness, bright moonlight reflecting off tinted lenses, was Aburame Shino.

"It is Pride."

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A net fell from the trees.

Eyes widening, Chouji surged forward, the sudden flux of chakra through his system breaking the Transformation Technique.

"DEATH FROM ABOVE!" came Naruto's gleeful voice from the treetops.

_How? When did they cha-_ _Focus! Nothing matters now but combat. Shikamaru is exposed_.Instead of going after the retreating form in the shadows, Shino dashed forward to met him head on. _I have misjudged their objective. The trap is for me!_

"Shadow Imitation Technique!" cried the spiky haired boy even as he rolled aside to avoid the falling net, thoughts straining to focus his ability.

The shadow shot forward. Latching onto the jacketed boy, it stopped him dead cold. Frozen, he would be defenseless against Chouji.

_But where is Naruto?_ Thought Shikamaru furiously as his eyes scanned the treetops. Absentmindedly he opened his palms and drew his arms up and apart.

Across from him, Shino's arms tensed and jerked but instead of rising above his shoulders, remained clasped behind his back. A pained voice suddenly said "Aww -"

"Chouji! NO!"

"- Shit."

Too close now, the tubby boy nearly tumbled in surprise when Shino burst into a cloud of smoke. Quickly compensating, he jumped out of the way to regroup.

The smoke quickly cleared, revealing a shock of short, spiky blond hair. Two bright electric blue and healthy sun tanned skin shifting as a impossibly wide grin split his face.

"Hey guys." said Uzumaki Naruto, grinning cheekily at them.

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_His hands are tied. That's how he resisted my Shadow Imitation! But then-_

"Chouji attack Naruto! Quickly!"

That wiped his grin off in a hurry. "Hey. I'm tied up. That's unfair." he protested, a deep frown on his face.

"Shika?" asked the brown haired boy confused. _What about Shino?_

"GET HIM!" screamed Shikamaru. _I am already dead._

"What the hell guys!?" exclaimed Naruto in surprise, realizing just how precarious his position was.

"An admirable tactic." came Shino's voice from behind him. "But ultimately futile."

_As expected, that net was actually his kikai_. The shadow wavered, weakened by his wavering chakra. "Get...im...ouji." One hand closed on his mouth. Another brought a kunai to rest on his throat. "You may want to reconsider that course of action, Chouji."

Instead of hesitating, the red faced boy turned and fell on his foe like a bale of bricks.

Even as Naruto freed his hands from the self – binding, Chouji's second blow knocked the wind out of him. Falling, he felt his body go limp as strength vanished and weakness spread.

The kunai seemed sail indolently through the air as it came down towards his neck.

A hard kick to his back sent the small boy face first into the soft forest floor.

Using his partner's back like a springboard, Shino watched as his Insect Clone leap forward to engage the Akimichi boy while he creep around to flank him.

"Clone Technique!"

_Chouji is pulling out all the stops_. _I need to end this quickly. The sound is sure to draw predators_. Thought the bushy haired boy as four false opponents joined the fray. Instead of breaking off in different directions, all four remained close to the Real – Self as they charged forward to meet his double.

_He does not care about winning. All that matters is taking one of us down with him. _He realized with a tact, Shino broke from cover and ran straight at Chouji, making as much noise as he possibly could to divert his opponent's attention. Despite glutting himself on Shikamaru, creating a third Insect Clone so soon had nearly emptied him.

This next move would be determine if he sank or swam.

Across from him, the swarm broke apart under a barrage of blows, having taken two of the four basic clones with it.

+Feed on the large male.+

Another clone dispersed in a small cloud of smoke as the mass of insects sloughed through it.

Still he was too far. Chouji was unbelievably fast. There was no other option.

Preternaturally aware, the other boy leaned back at the last second, causing the thrown kunai to sail harmlessly past him.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his partner recovering. Instead of pausing to look around or searching for the source of sound around him, the blond haired boy immediately started rolling aside.

Seeing his quarry disappear into a bush, Chouji turned on a dime, releasing his own kunai as he did so.

Ducking aside, Shino managed to narrowly avoid the projectile. Sending another kunai down range, it caught the brown haired boy right in chest. Red paint appeared to bloom and then...

Eyes widening in realization, the bespectacled boy deliberately set one foot in front of another, tripping himself up and spraining an ankle as he fell down. Arms rising up to ward off the blow.

The kunai's kiss on his neck was feather soft. For a moment, he doubted his own senses.

Naruto's loud battle cry was muffled by heavy smoke that billowed through the copse.

+The large one is gone.+ reported the swarm through their link. At that, Shino felt the tension drain from his body, leaving him feeling exhausted.

Twigs crack and leafs shift in the cool earth. Footsteps grow louder and then fainter. His partner was trying to find him.

Crunch. Crunch. Crunch.

A hand found his hair.

It yanked. Hard.

"Dammit, Shino! Why the hell did you hit me?!"

"Such a comment is not worthy of being deigned with a response."

"The whuzza what? You responded, dumbass! Just because you're mysterious, don't think you can get away with acting like an jerk."

After some fumbling – some pinches and a few more hits – blond haired boy picked his friend up under the armpits and started dragging him into the bushes, grumbling all the way as Shino silently planned his revenge.

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"He could not have gone far. You leached him to the bone." said Naruto when he found the ropes that Shino had tied Shikamaru with.

"Chouji could have carried him. Even with carrying Shikamaru on his back, he would make good speed." replied the jacketed boy listlessly.

The blond haired boy frowned. "...Are you charged yet?" he asked, irritated at the turn of events.

"My kikai have already gathered enough chakra for another Clone. Another minute or so and we can have two up and running. However, I myself will not be able to use any techniques." replied Shino tonelessly, hands in his pockets.

_Does he truly feel no drain to his reserves at all?_ Eyes narrowing behind his tinted shades, he mentally noted this next oddity on the list he was compiling.

With the moon hidden by some clouds, it was almost pitch black and yet, he sensed Naruto through his kikai, searching the copse for his missing tag. _He can see perfectly in the dark. His senses are every bit as keen, if not sharper, than my own._ _Combine that with his seemingly endless chakra and stamina...just how is he doing this?  
_

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Meanwhile, the blond haired boy considered his next move.

Once_ the chakra has been taken in by the kikai, I guess they can not return it to him._ _That means I have to take point from now on._ He realized with a was really bad. With Shino out of the game...

Thanks to the weekend sparring practices, Naruto was under no delusions about his taijutsu skill.

He realized now just how much he relied on his stamina to turn fights to his favor.

_Even after months of training, I still can't win consistently against any of the top ten. Stupid Academy. Stupid Instructors. Stupid Fox. Stupid training._ _Stupid Sasori_. _Stupid stupid stupid stupid._

_Stop crying. Pick yourself up and focus._ Replied the voice in his mind.

Biting back a curse, he went over the small copse again. All that remained of the fight were some scuff marks, an uprooted bush and some disturbed patches of leafs with a couple of broken twigs thrown in. Sure, Pineapple - Head was dead. Shino had seen to that when he swiped the hidden Tag pouch.

_But Shino is dead too_._ It doesn't matter what you say. Those stupid Instructors will interpret the neck wound as a Killing Blow._ _Not to mention the fact that you have lost your own tag._ Continued the annoying voice in the back of his mind.

In the way that ten year boys knew being kissed by a girl meant cootie infection and that icky stuff was interesting, Naruto had long known that thinking too much would alter his mind. Thankfully, he was a Hero and thus negated the more harmful side effects of Thinking.

Which is why there was something inhabiting his mind.

What was even more horrifying was that it _talked_ to him. Sometimes. Well, it did not really talk much. It was not like he would conversations with himself. That be stupid. And weird. It would never happen because...well, that be crazy. However, it did lame things like pointing out annoying facts for him in this whole offhand 'by the way, did you know?' tone that reeked of insincerity. Just so it could grind the salt in.

A flicker of light broke the darkness.

Someone was carrying a torch, heading in their direction.

A warm hand came to rest on his shoulder. "We must retreat. Now." hissed Shino, the urgency in his voice growing.

Cursing aloud this time, the blond haired boy turned to join his friend.

Together, they dashed off into the dark woods.

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The Base Camp was located at the start of the Fire Cliff Trail, otherwise known as Training Area Seventy Five.

It was here that the Academy Instructors had pitched their tents and set up several small campfires. One group were being chewed out by Iruka-sensei for making elementary mistakes or trying to cheat. Once the tongue lashing was over, he began to lecture on group tactics. Another group, this one led by Mizuki-sensei, were forced to clean up dirty dishes, wash clothes and take care of the muddied gear brought back by others; their failing had been ignoring the care of their own gear and weapons, a mistake that could lead to serious consequences out in the field.

Not all had to undergo remedial classes though.

Some Instructors were teaching their students how to skin or de-feather the small game they caught. Others helped the children to prepare simple but delicious meals using simple roots, herbs, flowers and plants. And after nearly an entire day on nothing but light rations, even the most picky were willing to to try the food. Those who chickened out or made faces at the taste of their food were laughed at by the other students and lectured by the Instructors on the necessity of eating what was put in front of you, no matter if you liked it or not. Food was scarce in the wilderness and you could never tell when you might get the chance to eat again.

Within five minutes, things had devolved into horror stories of how people had been forced to eat raw fish or game and in a few instances, even dead bodies! Why, once, dying from starvation, Mizuno-sensei had once been forced to eat bark taken off a tree when he had no food. For water, he had drunk the blood of his horse, mixed with milk.

Needless to say, the students huddled in groups, listening with wide eyes as they gasped in horror.

When he judged that they were suitably terrified, Mizuno used the Academy's staple jutsu: The Demon Head Technique.

Five minutes later, the aforementioned teacher was trussed up, gagged and stuffed into a potato sack by some very angry students.

Not all was fun and games however.

Six academy students had been sentenced to death and thus, sent into the jaws of the Shinigami that resided in the tent at the very edge of the camp.

Whether they lived or died would be decided in the coming moments by Sachiko-sensei.

The Discipline Teacher.

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Children. Who could ever understand them? Shaped titanic forces and age old blood feuds, their chatter hid arcane conventions and byzantine politics that would drive adults mad with... madness! They were simply too complicated for lesser beings to understand. Even trying to do so would lead to the abyss of insanity. That or soul warping despair.

Yeah. Adults failed to understand even the most blatantly obvious playground plot going on right under their big noses. Never mind real life where the shit got serious. It was a sad fact of life; the 'adult-er' you became, the more dull witted – and perverted – you were.

"Naruto, are you listening to me?" asked Sachiko-sensei, her voice strained. A tic appearing above her right eyebrow. _Why do things keep getting bumped up by eleven when this brat is involved? It is almost as if he is some sort of weirdness magnet. Things just happen around him.  
_

Lined up before her, there stood six little boys, covered from head to toe in splotches of bright orange paint, mud, leafs, twigs and grime. Given that only one of their number was smiling brightly at the predicament, it was obvious that he had some hand in forming this tribe.

"Of course, sensei." replied the little boy guilelessly. He was careful to not sound too innocent – and thus, a little hurt at the implication in her question. _Why can't people just acknowledge my awesomeness? __Stupid instructors. When I become Hokage, I'll fire them all. Hehehe.__ I'm __so smart__. They'll never see me coming..._

Seated before them at a very large and very important desk, her turquoise eyes glinting sternly was Yamashita Sachiko, the discipline teacher. In other words, she was the Harbinger of Desolation, the Apostle of Doom, Bringer of Despair and Ascended Avatar of the Fear Made Manifest.

At least to mere mortals.

_True Heroes don't fear the discipline teacher._ Thought Naruto smugly. He certainly didn't fear any discipline teacher. Having vanquished the previous four holders, the Little Death That Brings Destruction was above such simple ploys as glares and stern gazes. Even the insidious Scary Face.

Not that someone he would ever be afraid. Ever.

"Can you explain how you managed to retrieve all these Tags?" she asked, gesturing to the pile of tags that spilled out of three pouches, stained orange where the paint had spilled. At least, she hoped that was the case.

"Well... me and Shino were walking around, just minding our own business when out of the blue, BLAM! Sasuke and Kiba showed up outta nowhere. Dog Breathe started did his barking thing while Duckboy stared off into the distance, doing his 'I'm so cool' thing and then VSHOOUM! Chouji appeared and things really got crazy. Then we went at it. Kapow Kapow Kapow and a one and a two and one two three. Uzumaki Style: Special Haymaker Combo! BOOM KAPOWY ZEZING! Seeing that I was just too awesome, they tried to take Shino hostage-"

"I was already dead. I played no part in this."

"- Seeing how they weren't gonna fight fair, I initiated my Super Secret Ultra Hidden Plan of Sudden Death. But then, Sasuke interrupted me with his number six glare and it was like a million to one shot but BOOSH KABLOOM WACHA! He's got me dead to rights when suddenly -" continued the blond haired boy, arms swooping back and forth as he started pacing.

Based on her observations, his right hand had come to symbolize an eagle while the right now represented a dragon. Both were locked in mortal combat.

"Then they realize and its Oh No! Stop him before he does the Countdown of Doom. Of course, I was just counting down for fun. You see, the – real – countdown started five minutes before I started counting down. Hehehe. How's that for awesome? Hey Shino, come up here and help me show sensei the next part where we -"

"I am not standing on a desk."

Feeling a migraine coming on, Sachiko snapped. "Is that why are all covered in orange?" she asked.

Naruto glared at her, looking wounded. With a quaver in his voice, he said: "Don't jump ahead of the story! I'll have you know that this gonna be an epic poem of over nine thous-"

A loud bark, harsh and biting split the night air.

"Why the hell are you all orange?" asked a short woman, coming through the door of the tent.

Kiba groaned. "Oh no. Please, Kami-sama. Mercy." he continued, staring up at the roof of the tent in a plea for mercy from the heavens.

Naruto goggled.

There in front of him was the most ferocious looking woman he had ever seen. The air around her seemed almost...charged. With imminent violence.

She had two large Inuzuka markings on each cheek, much larger than Kiba's. In fact, they were bigger than any he had ever seen. Her bright yellow eyes had vertical slit like pupils that seemed to grow and shrink with each breath she took, accenting the bright red and night black eyeliner in a way that said 'I am a killer' rather than 'look at my pretty eyes'. Even her jounin outfit seemed kind of... rough. She smelled of stale sweat, wet dog, dried blood and damp grass, just after the rain. In fact, she smelled... just smelled more than any person he had ever met. When she folded her arms across her chest, he noticed that her sharp fingernails had a mottled brown hue, almost like old wood.

Entering beside her was a giant wolf – dog... thing that was bigger than the table Sachiko-sensei was sitting at. Like the woman, it radiated wild energy and danger, barely leashed. It had an oil black pelt with a snow white underside. The only imperfection marring the lustrous coat was thin patch where the left ear should be. As if that was not badass enough already, there was an eye patch over the right eye. It grinned in a distinctively doggy way.

Or maybe it was a wolfy way.

_What if it was a mutant dog?_

Suddenly the pieces all fit together. Out of the chaos and confusion there emerged a grand design which conclusively proved that...

_Obviously, this was mutant pirate dog._ After all, it had an eye patch; the mark of all true pirate captains.

"Ah. Inuzuka-sama." yelped Sachiko-sensei in surprise, jumping to her feet in her haste to greet the warrior woman.

The woman, obviously some important big shot, folded her arms and grinned broadly at the little boy standing on the desk. Unlike everyone else in the tent, he had yet to bow in greeting. Instead of quailing at the sight of her fangs – something that spooked even the Aburame kid behind him – he had a puzzled look on his face as he stared at her, as if trying to place a face to memory.

_But we have never met. _She thought, inwardly frowning; after the incident with the Hyuuga Elders, all Clan Heads had scrapped plans to influence the Jinchuriki.

Still..._my instincts have rarely failed me_. _I can feel it. He knows me_.

The Inuzuka Alpha stared at the chubby little Academy student in his orange tracksuit. This close, she could easily make out the thread marks and needlework across his clothes, even under the bright splotches of orange. _Did he sew his own clothes together?_ She wondered for a moment, before coming to his electric blue eyes, still uncowed with her presence or frightened by her fangs.

The silence grew thick with tension.

When it became evident that the staring match was going to continue, Sachiko cut in. "Please excuse him, Inuzuka-sama. He is only a civilian chil-"

"Dude." said the short boy suddenly, cutting his teacher off rudely. A bright smile grew on his face as he turned to a dumbstruck Kiba. Tsume could practically see the proverbial light bulb switching on in his head.

"Your mom is a vampire."

.

.

.

Pushing open the door to Sasori's office, Naruto found the older boy writing something on a small scroll. Before he see what it was however, the older boy promptly rolled it with a smug smile.

Resisting the urge to roll his eyes - after all, someone had to be mature - the young boy laid several forms and letters which the shop owner had to respond to. Quickly they got to work.

"Is that all?" asked Sasori as read a letter from the Merchant's Guild with a frown.

"That was everything in the box."

"And did you-"

"I paid the bills when I was at the Post Office." replied Naruto tiredly. You forget to pay one time. Just one time out of like a bazillion and older boy would never let him forget it.

"Hmm. Where are those forms for our lot? We can not miss the Year's End Fair."

"Do not worry. I dropped them off yesterday. All that is left..."

Sasori paused from his letter writing. Taking out a small brown envelop from the sleeve of his heavy robe, he opened it and counted five thousand ryo in crisp, new colorful bills.

Eagerly, Naruto scoped up the money, quickly counting it twice before folding it into his monkey themed wallet which now sported an eye patch. "Is there anything else?"

"Patience, disciple. I hear you did very well yesterday."

Instantly, his face brightened. "Yeah. I was epic!"

"How did your instructor's take it? They must have been surprised." continued the master, careful not let his disciple get carried away.

He frowned. "Yeah, well, they can go suck on their thumbs!"

"Language now." said Sasori without heat.

"So...any more homework?" asked the little boy nervously.

"How is your Juggling coming along?"

"I can handle five balls now!" answered Naruto with a grin.

"Very good, disciple. I bet you will hit seven pretty soon. Now, have you talked to your teachers about chakra enhancement?"

"Yeah, but they said I should train up first. Blah blah blah, its dangerous and you might hurt yourself. Work on your control first and get build up your body."

"Well, your teachers are not wrong. While it might be considered easy for others to learn, your great reserves amplify the risks significantly."

"Aww, come on. I can do it!"

Sasori blew into his hand. Opening it, he revealed a bag of water balloons.

"What the?! No way. How?"

The teen smiled indulgently as he returned the bag, sans one balloon. "I studied under a man who could take every coin out of your pocket just by smiling at you."

Naruto eyes nearly popped out of his head at the thought. "Can I-"

"A tale for another time. Now focus, disciple." said Sasori, holding up the filled balloon in one hand and a glass of water in the other.

Slowly, he began to pour the water. The balloon bulged under the pressure.

Soon, the skin became thin enough to see through.

POP.

At Naruto's horrified expression, Sasori knew that he had understood the meaning behind the demonstration. "A single mistake could render your muscles into jello or cause your heart to explode. Those are some of the better scenarios. Need I go on?"

His disciple's face shifted. Crestfallen, he glanced at the floor.

"I understand where you are coming from, disciple. You have neither the technical skill nor the experience needed to best your sparring partners. Thus you look to boost your strength and speed to breach these gaps. Understandable and even advisable -"

The little boy looked up hopefully.

"- under certain battlefield conditions. For now, focus on perfecting your taijutsu skills and chakra control. Spar. If you are defeated, then you are defeated. Rise and try again as you search for ways to improve your technique. Too often do people seek to increase their power without first honing their mind and warrior spirit."

In other words, it was a resounding 'No'. It was flowery and long winded and meant to give the impression that it was something else, but Sasori was just letting him down gently. What the hell did 'honing the mind' and 'warrior spirit' have to do with fighting anyway?

_Nothing. That's what._ He thought angrily.

"Of course, I would not be much of a sensei if I had not already anticipated such things."

"So I can learn chakra enhancement then!?"

"In good time, disciple." he replied patiently. A quick flick of his wrist made a small hard glass container appear. It was covered in small script with the picture of a stalking tiger in the middle.

"Heat rub?" asked a nonplussed Naruto.

"You really need to learn how to hold your tongue, disciple." replied his master silkily.

Sensing that Sasori was getting annoyed, he tried again. "Thank you very much, sensei. What does it do?"

"As with other heat rubs, it works to ease muscle aches and sprains."

"... Okaaaay. What else does it do?"

"My special blend will help to increase the chakra resistance of your muscles. Apply it generously before sparring practice or any other physical exercise. That said, mixing this with water is not recommended."

Naruto's eyes instantly widened.

"No. You can not use this to get back at people."

His disciple quickly averted his gaze.

"Naruto, I am not a mind reader." said the master tiredly.

"I'm not so sure about that anymore-"

The shopkeeper his eyes. "Whatever. Do you want to try it?" he said suddenly.

"Yeah! So uhm... how do I use it?"

"Just open it and rub some on the back of your hand."

Quickly, Naruto uncapped the small jar. Inside, there was a soft white paste that smelt strongly of mint. He spread a little over the back of his hand.

At first, his hand felt cold. As the seconds ticked by however, the area began to heat up. Within a minute it was burning. After a while, the sensation became more manageable.

"That's it- YEOWCH. WHAT THE HELL?"

It felt like his hand was being torn apart.

A strong hand held his wrist. With it, a sensation of stillness. "The effects are somewhat strong the first time around. Do not fight the sensations. Let your body get used to it." said Sasori to his paralyzed disciple.

After a few agonizing minutes, the burning pain subsided and became a dull throb.

The moment he let go of Naruto's wrist however...

"WHAT THE FUCK? NO SERIOUSLY. YOU STUPIDFACE. YOU B-" screamed the boy, his eyes watering.

"Calm yourself, disciple." said Sasori cuttingly as he initiated a simple ocular genjutsu. The shop disappeared, replaced by thousand malevolent eyes hovering over a dark expanse. A flash of lightning highlighted a field of skulls laid out before a writhing form, twisted beyond the limits of time and space, incomprehensible in its horror. A deformed limb, reeking with puss and ichor stretches forth...

The vision ended but the sweat on the little boy's palms remained, giving him pause.

"Now..." began the shopkeeper softly. "...you can explode and go crazy or whatever. Stomp around the shop like a bear with a sore head. Scream. Shout. Have yourself a real nice pity party. Rail against the injustices of life. Or you can take a deep breath and relax and just get over it."

The silence stretched as the young boy fumed. With obvious effort, he gathered himself and reined in the impulse to lash out. "Why didn't you warn me?" asked Naruto angrily, not quite covering the quaver in his voice.

"Why did you not warn me?" corrected the older boy immediately, beginning to lead his mind.

The little jinchuriki glared at him, unwilling to be diverted.

Careful to make sure he sat level with his disciple, he explained: "I am your teacher, Naruto. As promised in our bargain, I will train you and shape you into a great shinobi. However, I will not spoon feed you techniques. Nor will I hold your hand when you continue on paths which I have warned you against."

Naruto narrowed his eyes. "A man learns best when he gets burnt?"

"Precisely." replied the older boy coolly. A flick of the wrist and a little smoke drew his disciples attention to another hard glass container. "Now, this blend costs roughly three million ryo to make." continued Sasori, starting to pull at his disciple's strings.

The little boy's eyes widened to the size of saucers, thoughts of anger and revenge gone from mind. "Holy Ramen. What the he-"

"I trust you will use it wisely, disciple." continued Sasori without care. "As I will not be able to make more for some time. I suggest you save this for prolonged taijutsu sessions. That said, how is your training coming with Yuugao-san?"

"She's got a genin team now." replied the little boy, rubbing the back of his hand absentmindedly.

"Ah. So who do you train with now?"

"I get to train more with Anko-chan and she's cool." Realizing what he had said, he was quick to add "For a girl."

"Of course." said Sasori, smiling like the cat who got the canary.

"What?"

"Do you not want to continue you kenjutsu training?"

"...Anko can teach me kenjutsu."

"Trust me, Uzuki-san is on a completely different level when it comes to swordplay."

"When will – you – teach me kenjutsu, huh?"

The older boy smirked. "Good save. Not enough force though. I will start training you once the holidays begin."

"Really?"

"Really. Now, do you want to start training with Yuugao again?"

"...Yeah."

Sasori took unfurled a small poster. It advertised a fighting tournament. Listed below a picture of two muscled fighters was entry information and weight brackets.

"Where did you get that?"

The older boy just smiled. "I know a few of the people involved. That is not important. What matters however, is that I can get you in. The question is, will you do all you can to win?"

"Yes." replied Naruto, eyes blazing with conviction.

"Even if it means using 'Darkside' techniques?"

Caught, his face took on a constipated look. "That's not fair."

With a flick of his wrist, the red headed boy made a short scroll appear in his hand. He laid it down in between them. "Why not read about it first. If you decide against it, do not use it."

"..."

"Power is simply power, disciple. It is neither good nor evil. What matters is the intent behind it. I think what you are really afraid of is that you will like it. Or perhaps, even worse, realize that you were foolish to ever think of it as evil in the first place."

"No way. I would never do that."

"Yet you arbitrarily label this scroll evil without having read it. Just like some people label others without knowing anything about them." said Sasori accusingly as he finally sprung the trap.

The older boy smiled inwardly as his disciple winced at the realization.

Naruto stuffed the scroll into his courier bag with a sour expression. "Alright. Whatever. Ok? I'll read it. Once." he huffed angrily.

It was more to avoid the conversation than out of actual agreement with Sasori, but he would take what he could get.

"Very good, disciple. Now, have you been studying for your finals at the Academy?"

_._

_._

_._

The red headed teen watched as his disciple left the shop for the day.

Once the ring of the doorbell died down, he retreated to the sanctuary of his workshop. Stepping carefully on a certain plank, he slid a wall panel aside, revealing another puppet. Absentmindedly, he sent it upstairs.

In the workshop, a earnest looking young man was going over a sheaf of documents.

"Any progress?"

"Unfortunately no, Sasori-sama. The facility is simply too well protected."

"Then it can not be helped."

The silvery haired teen looked up startled. "But Danzo wi-"

The Puppeteer silenced his agent with an imperious wave of his hand. "One can not make an omelet without first breaking a few eggs. Show me the plans, Kabuto."

Even as he set his mind to the details in front of him, he could not stop his thoughts of erring to the subject of his student. Things were approaching a critical phase, made even more dangerous now that he had seen the Sandaime's hand. _Never__ have I sparred with one patient enough to play such a game._ he realized with grudging respect.

It did not matter. As long as his true hand remained hidden, nothing would be beyond his reach.

"Sasori-sama?"

"Kabuto, begin prepping a female corpse. Age...lets say late twenties to early thirties. Dark haired, fine featured and athletic. Preferably a kunoichi but any body meeting the specifications will do. I will go and procure the required clothes."

The spy graced him with a earnest smile. "Preparing a Queen, are we? "

"Merely exercising prudence."

.

.

.

Kabuto's hands flashed through a complicated seal sequence.

With a rush of air, the world around him disappeared in a swirl of light. Baby blue tiles, freezing air and smell of disinfectant marked his return to the secret surgery theater he had built for those time he could not venture forth to the laboratory provided by Orochimaru. Here, now truly alone, Kabuto allowed himself to relax for a moment. No time for music or a drink though. He must not tarry.

Instead of consulting his records, he began opening the freezers at random. Searching for a body that would suit his needs. A hundred different memories flashed through his mind as he studied the bodies. This imposed abstinence was really grating.

Finally, he found one that would do.

Trailing a hand between two small pert breasts, he opened the ribcage and began the procedures which he had learnt from Orochimaru, so very long ago.

Humming to himself, Kabuto felt a thrill of pleasure as he begun his work.

Slowly, piece by piece, things were moving. This forced abstinence was but a passing thing that would make the Pleasure all the more sweet when the time came. Oh yes. This was but a minor setback.

A joyous smile light up the silvery haired medic's face as he sewed the wound close. Now, to work on rest of the body.

Bit by bit, the corpse lost its death pallor, becoming more lifelike with every passing minute. Four hours later, instead of a dead body on a metal table, it appeared as if it were a live woman who had merely been sedated for an operation.

With care, he began to dress the woman with the clothes Sasori had provided.

"There, look how beautiful you are! Why, Motoko-chan, you'd have to beat the men away with a stick if you walked down the street, ne?" said Kabuto with a winning smile as he channeled his chakra into several strips of paper covered with strange, serpentine seals.

Placing them on the back of 'Motoko's' neck, the seals began to writhe, as if alive. A short chakra scalpel traced a fine red line across the skin. Almost immediately, blood, bright and red began to seeped out from the wound.

Like predators scenting prey, the writhing seals swarmed around the small cut. One by one, they entered the body.

Warm hazel eyes fluttered open.

A hand rose and cupped Kabuto's jaw like a lover. Mokoto smiled at him. Slowly, her mouth opened. It moved, but no sounds emerged.

The beatific smile on the silver haired medic's face never wavered. Molding chakra into his hands, he introduced it in short bursts to Mokoto's system. Whispering as he did so: "Let him see the fallen fruit, sitting warm and inviting in the afternoon sun..."

A faint blush appeared on the dark hair woman's cheeks. She averted her eyes demurely. In a husky voice, she said "...and let me be the serpent beneath. Hidden and waiting to strike."

Surging forward like a striking snake, Kabuto pinned the woman to the cold metal table as his lips devoured hers.

.

.

.

_Anko's house is pretty nice_. Thought Naruto.

It was spacy and airy. Clean in a way that he never seemed to achieve with his own apartment. The walls were done in soft pastels. There were a couple of paintings. A large scroll with the kanji for 'Will of Fire' was the centerpiece of the living room. The plants she kept gave the place a fresh tinge that offset the bitter smell of the tea leafs she kept. Like him, Anko had tonnes of comics. She was a kindred spirit and True Believer.

"Come on. Open your mouth, Naruto." said the pale eyed woman, leaning into him now.

Gathering his titanic willpower, he forced his body past the waves of pain and psychic suffering. Beyond the utter humiliation of what he was now compelled to do. With determination that had shaken the very multiverse to it foundations, he opened his mouth.

"Come on. Use your tongue. You need to swallow." continued the young woman, her pale sandy brown eyes narrowing.

Pushing past the revulsion, the young boy closed his mouth around the squishy objects.

"There, there. Just relax your throat. Keep your tongue down and relax. It's all in your head. The faster you do this, the quicker we'll be done." she continued, coaxing him on.

Despite the spasms racking his body, Naruto managed to swallow. Slowly, the slimy – things – slipped down his throat.

Beside him, Anko chortled. "Not bad. Now, care for round two?" she asked with a soft smile.

A tremor shook his body at the thought. Instantly, his palms broke out in a cold sweat as goosebumps spread. "..uuh...I'm good, thank you."

"You suuuuure?" she said, dragging the last syllable out.

"Yeah um...can I get another drink?" asked the young boy, hoping to wash the disgustingly vile taste away. _And to think, people actually did this voluntarily_...

Across from him, she swallowed an entire load in one go. Licking her lips, she winked saucily at him. "Calling it quits already?"

"There are some boundaries that are never meant to be crossed." said Naruto queasily.

The violet haired woman rolled her eyes and downed another load in a flash, causing the young boy in front of her to shiver despite the warm afternoon sun.

"Come on, its not that bad." she said plaintively.

"Its disgusting!" screamed the boy, nearly manic. "Its salty and slimy and just...just...EVIL! Do you have any idea what its lik-"

Flashing through the air like a lance of lightning, a metal spoon delivered its deadly payload of beansprouts, chives and scrambled egg into his open his mouth. Coming into contact with his tongue, the foul concoction of vile soy sauce, evil vinegar and corrupted sesame oil began to exact their butcher's bill.

The little boy's face changed through several interesting shades of color as he came to terms with the – thing – filling his mouth. Finally, he did the unspeakable.

He swallowed the vegetables.

... they tasted... Healthy.

It was akin to the destruction of purity and goodness. To the sun going out, leaving behind an empty shell of ceaseless hunger and unending avarice. The sheer pain and agony induced was horrendous. To top it all off, the soul rending despair drained any thought of resistance, leaving one incapable of taking control and ending the wretched torment.

This was Death; in all its forms, experienced in a single horrifying second of abject desolation.

"Just four spoonfuls, Naruto-bo~!" sang Anko happily. "Then we can get some dango. My treat."

The catatonic boy gazed blindly at the ceiling. His mind shattered by the trauma.

Would this hell ever end?

.

.

.

"Here you go." said a waitress, laying there orders on the table. "Will there be anything else?"

"Ah, thank you. We're good." replied Anko as she paid for the food. Out of the corner of her eye, she spied a sly thief, hoping to get away with their ill gotten goods. Lightning quick, her hand lashed out, landing three blows in the blink of an eye.

"Hey!" reproached a little boy, drawing back his hand in remonstration.

"Nuh-uh. Mine." purred the violet haired woman opposite him.

Naruto gave her a grumpy look.

Anko ignored it in favor of her dango. Raising the stick, she brought the dumplings to her mouth, slowly.

"..."

"mhmm."

"Can you at least – pretend – that you are not enjoying this?"

"...aaah." Eyes half lidded, Anko rolled the confection across her tongue, allowing the sweet glaze to melt. Slowly.

Electric blue eyes hardened into clear chips of ice. As cold as the winter tundra. He would have his revenge!

Chuckling, she finally relented. "You wanna learn something cool?"

A large frown grew as his face darkened. "The last time we learnt something cool, it was drinking hot sake with tabasco sauce."

"Aww. I thought you liked breathing fire." countered Anko with a smile that was wholly unrepentant.

"Whatever. Look, I don't need your help with vegetables any more. Henceforth, I shall never eat any vegetables again. Ever. Times infinity infinity!"

"You can't survive on ramen alone, Naruto." she replied with frown.

"Yes I can. It is by the Ramen that I-"

"How tall are you compared to Kiba?"

"...Tha- That doesn't count. Dog Breath probably eated some super growth potion."

"Ate. There is no such word as 'eated', Naruto."

"Yes there is. I invented it."

"Oh, so you are an inventor now?"

"The correct phrase would be neologist." said the little boy pompously, puffing up his chest. "That and Future Hokage."

Adopting a thinking pose, Anko mused aloud with all the innocence of a kitten: "Hmm. I suppose Sakura must have 'eated' some super potion as well."

Red faced, the little jinchuriki blushed hard before leveling a baleful glare at her. _Why the hell is everyone taller than me?!_

"Just you wait and see, I'm going to shoot up! I'll be taller than you!" proclaimed the little boy feistily.

She raised a fine eyebrow in disbelief. "How are you gonna do that if you can't even eat your vegetables?" the young woman riposted with a superior voice.

Mouth hanging open, the little boy paused, crossed his arms and having sent a good glare to let her know just how serious he was, thus set his peerless intellect to work.

How could he remain Pure and Virtuous and most importantly – true his Patrons and Himself – in a world that seemed determined to change him. He wondered, his thoughts increasingly sad and melancholic.

The flash of a butcher's cleaver caught his eye, causing him to relive his first meeting with Kabuto in that small, cramped office, aeons ago.

Yes.

_That is it!_ He thought, his mind racing with possibilities as little bits of red flesh were cast off the cleaver. _Its exactly what Sasori would like in an answer: simplicity and elegance, joined as one._

Surely this was a Sign, sent by the Ramen.

With a triumphant smile and a light step, he journeyed across the shop. Staggering back, he narrowly avoided colliding into several people. He set down his prize, causing the table to creak under its weight.

"I shall become a fruitarian." proclaimed a haughty bob of blond hair peeking out from behind the giant watermelon. "After all, its actually healthy. Just like the Food Pyramid says."

"Mhm. Doesn't it also advocate vegetables?"

"It can't be right all the time, obviously."

"Obviously."

One hand snaked its way around the watermelon, not quite able to reach around. Gripped in his left hand was the spoon, Chosen Slayer of the Fruit.

Sensing the impending disaster that little boy was no doubt about to unleash, nobody paid any mind to the brunette woman who quickly paid for her tea and excused herself before the mayhem started.

_So that is Uzumaki Naruto._ She thought, mind racing with questions. Focusing, she began to memorize every detail of their brief encounter.

.

.

.

It was only five o'clock in the evening but the streets were jam packed with people.

Laughter, music and fireworks filled the air as children ran to and fro with their wooden ANBU masks, playing 'Ninja'. There were hundreds of street stalls, selling a variety of items. From candied treats, fine cloths and exotic spices to rare gems, clothes for the new year, trinkets and good luck charms. There were games and contests. A lucky draw had been set up by the Konoha University with a grand prize of a million ryo to attract people to the stalls set up by their students. In the public square, students from the Springtime of Youth Dojo were holding an exhibition to showcase their taijutsu. Later that night the stage would be cleared for a kabuki play.

Swift hands expertly folded the merchandise.

Tying a series of knots around the coarse brown paper wrapping, he held the blade up for the customer.

"Thank you." said the woman, taking the parcel up by the string.

"Your welcome~!" replied Naruto cheerfully.

Beside him, Sasori was already fiddling with his abacus again. It was like he was addicted to it or something. That and catalog books advertising selections of wood. What if there were hentai pictures secretly hidden inside the catalog books?

_That would certainly things_. Obviously the Dark Side had sunk it claws into the unsuspecting boy. Insidiously corrupting him. Turning him Adult-er bit by bit.

"Any idea when Uzuki-san will arrive?" asked the red headed teen as he began arranging some makabishi.

_Yuugao?_

Sasori sighed in a put out manner. "Did you even deliver the letter?"

"Tch. Why are you so quick blame me?" replied Naruto quickly, sensing an opening. "She did not send one back. How the hell should I know when she supposed to arrive."

The older boy smiled serenely at a bunch of genin who had been staring at their stand. Picking up a scarlet red umbrella, he twisted the handle as he opened it.

Chek-chik.

Short blades extended from the ribbing and tips. Chakra reactive fabric hardened with a loud snap. Another twist released the catch, allowing the handle and hidden blade within to come free of the umbrella.

"Would you like you try?" asked the shopkeeper, a friendly smile on his face.

After a bit of nervous chatter, a tall girl in a rose pink blouse and teal green pants left her compatriots behind and ventured forth. She had seal brown hair and dull copper eyes.

As expected, Sasori in 'Salesman' mode. All charm and goodwill as he showed her the umbrella. Soon they were talking about various types of shuriken and what wire worked best. Once her eyes glanced a towards a selection of throwing knives for a second time, he was already unlocking the case and presenting them to her.

Blah blah blah weapons blah blah cool blah blah wanna see more? Blah blah blah. Yeah blah blah I know what you mean blah blah.

The two of them continued chattering.

Well fine. If the boss wanted to waste time without closing a deal, then would was he to argue?

Time for some snacks!

"Naruto-kun?"

Foiled again!

"Ah, Uzuki-san." said Sasori pleasantly, almost beaming in welcome at the jounin.

"I have your order ready. Would you like to see it now?" he asked, drawing the long handle of a nodachi in a beautiful blackwood sheath out of its red silk covering.

Having worked at the Eternal Beauty for nearly a year, Naruto had developed a feel for weapons. He could tell the difference between grades, ranks and different makes. But this...

... was on a whole different level.

Everything about the nodachi screamed perfection. _This is what __he has kept locked up in the workroom all these months? Its..._

"Wow. It is so beautiful, Sasori-sama. You made this?" said girl from ealier in an awestruck manner. Her eyes as wide as saucers.

"I only helped to repair the blade." replied the shopkeeper humbly. "It was nothing really."

"That will not be necessary, Sasori-san. I have the final payment here." replied Yuugao, her mouth becoming a thin line as she placed a padded white envelop on the desk.

"Wow. Sensei. You're buying a sword?" asked the snot nosed, appearing beside the violet haired woman. Another two snot nosed brats came up behind him, their forehead protectors prominently displayed on their heads.

This was the Enemy.

"Can we see it?" asked a snot nosed girl.

These were the people who had taken Yuugao away and stopped her from teaching him.

"Yeah. Come on, sensei."

By now, people were stopping to stare at the gathering around Sasori's stand, wondering what was going on.

The jounin sensei frowned at her students antics. Even as she began to speak, they began talking.

"Dumbass. Don't you see she wants to keep it sheathed? It probably has not even been consecrated yet."

"Idiot. Don't call me that. Besides, all that ritual stuff is fake anyway. There is no such thing as sword spirits."

"Puh-lease. Not now. We're in the middle of the market. Che. Morons."

"Oh really, Haruhi-chan? If you weren't such a teacherco-"

"Iba-baka! Don't you da-"

"Enough you three. Be quiet." said Yuugao sternly.

Abashed, the trio chorused "Hai, sensei."

"I apologize for the disturbance, Sasori-san. It-"

"Oh, that is all right. It is only natural for children to-"

Everyone talks happily.

Just like that. He is alone. Here but not really here. Away from Them because They had pushed him Out.

Fists clenched.

Naruto really, really wanted to hit something.

.

.

.

Returning from his errand, Naruto found Sasori packing up the stall with some coolies.

"Stop glowering. The wind might change and your face will get stuck."

"I am – not – glowering." replied the young boy hotly as he searched his courier bag.

Candy wrapper. Musashi comic. Sketch book. Half eaten candy bar. Instant ramen. Note book. A fork. Cloak for Invisibility Technique. Instant ramen. Water balloons. Smoke bomb. Orange spray paint. Itching powder. Lunchbox. Instant ramen. Super Sudden Orange Death bomb. Aha!

"Here, let me take that." said a burly man.

"Many thanks." replied the shopkeeper as he handed the heavy crate over to the coolie.

With a grunt, the coolie stacked another crate on his other shoulder, and leaning down, picked up a heavy sack before making his way to the laden cart.

"Here's the tea you wanted." said the young boy, handing him a beige colored wood box marked with an lone tree.

"This is it then?"

"Yeah." replied Naruto, holding out the receipt.

"That is all right. Remember to log it in tonight before we close."

The small boy raised an eyebrow.

"Meet me at the Ever Dawn Row around...nine." said the older boy serenely, folding his hands in front of him. The long sleeves concealed the quick motion of his hands from all but the closest. _Speak yes. Wheels move. Vital._

Well, it was not like he had anything better to do. It was time for adventure. "Maybe. My schedule is very busy." said Naruto with a grin. "Places to be. Things to do. People to prank."

"Tch. If you do show up, find something nice to wear at least." said Sasori as he took a seat at the front of the cart while the coolies got on the back.

The driver snapped the reigns and they were off.

Naruto turned and disappeared into the marketplace, losing himself in the heady mixture of unfamiliar smells and stranger sights.

.

.

.

In Konoha, if you wanted good food, lavish decadence and obscene prices, you needed to look no further than Ever Dawn Row. No matter your appetite or taste, you could sate it there. Discretion assured.

Naruto felt his palms sweat just walking down the road. He did not have many nice memories about this place. Mostly because most of the shop owners here had sworn to kill him for pranking their businesses.

The cool looking yukata he had bought earlier stuck out like a sore thumb amidst the fine clothes and jewelry everyone sported here. His clothes felt cheap and low and just...wrong. For the first time in his life, he realized that - maybe - girl's were right when they said that what you wore mattered.

Walking calmly beside, Sasori was talking easily with some other merchants they had met at a bar. Someone told a dirty joke and everyone was suddenly laughing.

Pfft. Easy for him. The older boy had some of the finest clothes that Naruto had ever seen.

It was more than that though.

Despite his age, only seventeen this year, Sasori understood all the complicated words the merchants used. He was up to date on what seemed to be every topic that came up; from the fluctuating price of rice to politics in this county or that country or what was going on in our schools today and some weird stuff about 'reproductive rights debate' that 'the hot potato' that was plaguing the Council. After a while, it seemed like everyone cursing some guy called Gato for every problem under sun when it came to shipping.

He was just so...confident.

When Sasori spoke, people listened. He could make almost anything seem funny or witty or sarcastic or just interesting. People liked him. Like 'really liked' him. Not fake 'like' him.

Everyone thought he was great. They paid Attention to him. Even when he was not speaking, just listening.

It was almost like being Hokage.

_But people suck up to Oji-san because he's the most powerful person in Konoha. You've heard what they say about him when they don't think anyone is listening._ said the voice in his mind.

Right then, surrounded by smiles and laughter and jokes, Naruto forgot about being Hokage.

He forgot about wearing the funny Hat and smoking the pipe with the strange smelling leafs. He did not want people to bow down to him or say nice things to his face, only to turn around and badmouth him.

At that moment, the only thing he wanted in the world - more important than anything in the history of Ever times Infinity Infinity was standing right beside him.

Naruto wanted to _be _Sasori.

.

.

.

The Dragon's Gate restaurant was plush and traditional and posh and very, very weird, Naruto decided as he watched some waiters carry a giant white platter and place it in the middle of the table which was already overflowing with strange and colorful dishes. This platter was filled with strips of white flesh, so thin you could almost see through it. At one end, a giant red fish head was opening and closing as if trying to breath.

Naruto felt a shiver just looking at it.

"Stop fidgeting and start eating your food."

The small boy in the bright orange and blue yukata smiled venomously at the teenage boy in the heavy kimono beside him. "This stuff is all seafood." he whispered back, careful to keep the smile up. Seafood was some of the most... evil food in the world.

"So? Start eating. It is good for your brain." replied older boy, tentatively poke a giant claw with his chopsticks.

The claw snapped, making a whistling sound that really hurt Naruto's ears. Around them, people started laughing. One of the ever present waiters adjusted the burner under the dish, causing the soup to bubble. It might have been his imagination, but Naruto thought this made the crab go berserk. Struggling, the giant crustacean failed to escape from its watery prison. For its legs had been broken before being place on the dish.

The old woman next to Naruto began speaking with the weird words again. _Ugh._ Thought the little jinchuriki in frustration. Everyone at the table spoke in a language he did not understand. He felt more left out than ever.

Sasori replied in a sharp, guttural tones. As if he was involved in a shouting match.

_Spirits, please don't let Sasori's two faced bastardness get us kicked out of the restaurant_. _Let them kick him out and leave me here._

The woman's eyes widened in surprise. Laughing, she offered a toothy smile to red headed teen who simply smiled serenely in reply.

A waiter cleared away Naruto's food even as he was still eating it.

Before he could protest, another waiter carefully laid down a large steaming clay pot. With a cloth, he deftly removed the lid, releasing a cloud of steam.

Rubbing his eyes, the little boy stared down at the oily red soup, filled with strange vegetables and noodles that seemed as thick as the fingers on his hand with a strange white filling in the middle. Needless to say, the dish looked sufficiently deadly.

"Our friend noticed your attitude. I told her you like noodles." explained Sasori at his look. "Go ahead, try it."

"It has fish in it."

Sasori sighed in a put out manner as he poured a cup of tea. "Yes, Naruto. There is fish. And no, there is no chicken or pork or beef available." He grinned. "There is duck though. Squid and octopus if you are adventurous. Some shark if you feeling extravagant. And of course, there are always vegetables..."

Despite his words, the little jinchuriki understood the message. Grimacing, he raised the noodles carefully, pointedly ignoring the dark green cucumber which had little spikes sticking out of it and clearly grown in a vat of mutated fungus in some dark laboratory. The noodles on the other hand, having – barely – passed muster, were permitted the honor of being eaten.

This was not so ba- HOLY ORANGE!

A cool glass was placed in his hands. Downing it quickly, Naruto almost choked. Gasping, he set the empty glass down.

"What the hell was that?" he asked, finally getting his voice under control.

"Firepot Eel noodles. A spicy delicacy from the Rokkaku Island. Located at the south edge of the Water islands. They have a penchant for spicy foods."

The little jinchuriki realized that people were staring at him.

"Hehehe. Not that it's bad or anything. Just whew! Wow."

The other people at the table smiled indulgently. Maybe it was once of those things everyone secretly hated but publicly said they liked because it was tradition or some bullshit.

"Hah. You very opinion, young one. You mind like dragonfly. Move. Move. Move." said the old woman beside him haltingly with an indulgent smile.

"Oh. Uhh." _What the hell mind. Think of something Mind!_

Sasori cut in, this time his tone smooth and soft as he talked. The old woman narrowed her eyes as she began going through a string of prayer beads while she replied. This bac and forth continued for a while until everyone at the table had joined the discussion.

While he did not understand the words, it was clear that this was a hot topic. Soon, everyone at the table was speaking at once. As the discussion got more and more heated, Naruto noticed that the words 'Yagura' and 'Terumi' kept popping up. Soon enough, two people were growing red faced and others seemed downright angry.

Two merchants had actually gotten to their feet and were pointing at one another. You did not have to understand the language to get the gist of what they were saying.

"Memorize their faces, Naruto." whispered Sasori suddenly. "I want you to draw them later."

Feelings his palms grow cold with sweat, the young boy nodded and put on a worried look, surreptitiously glancing at the people around him as he memorized their details. Beside him, the Puppeteer smiled inwardly. Turning back to the argument he had orchestrated for the Hokage, he can not help but feel at home once more.

How was it that Kojima Yasutaka had put it...

Closing his eyes, Sasori can feel the infernal Suna sun above him. The warm sand grating his sandaled feet. Hot wind carried with it the smell of camel dung, exotic spices, dried leather and strong coffee. In his hands was a careworn book, one of the great classics which all Shadow Theater disciples had to learn to put on a show.

The first lines read: "All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players."

_How very true that is_. Mused Sasori as he enjoyed his sake.

.

.

.

A gust of wind made Uchiha Sasuke tighten his robes around his small frame.

Even here, at the Naka Shrine, located at the very end of Konoha, the faint laughter and song of the Fair reached him. A loud 'boom' filled the air as a firework exploded, unleashing a giant golden phoenix, wreathed in fire.

Following swiftly behind were the clan symbols of the Hyuuga, Aburame, Inuzuka, Akimichi, Nara, Sarutobi, and Yamanaka. After this came the symbols from the Merchant Houses and other factions. More and more fireworks lit up the night sky with dancing dragons, snarling tigers, flying birds and running horses.

Turning from the pyrotechnic montage, Sasuke entered the dead shrine.

He had a lot of work to do before his guest arrived.

.

.

.

"Are you sure?"

Soft, musical laughter filled the dark shrine. "Even after all this time, you still doubt me? What a willful child you are."

Sasuke's onyx eyes narrow in frustration.

Across from him, two Sharingan spin languidly. "But then, you are after all, Fugaku's son. I suppose it simply your heritage to be brash and stupid."

"You will show me respect. My Fathe-"

"Is dead! You think invoking his name will make us bend knee?! Do you have any idea how much your father was hated? Do you really think he became the Clan Head because we loved him? He played the game well, I admit. He was fortunate enough to marry up and produce a strong shinobi in Itachi." A black wave surged forward. Spidery fingers, as cold as the grave wrap around Sasuke's throat. "You on the other hand..."

Instead of fighting her iron grip, the small boy brought his strong legs up. Channeling chakra through his muscles, he kicked out and somersaulted backwards. The woman's form burst into a thousand black petals that melted like snow when touched.

"Finally the strong blood. I was beginning to think you were totally Fugaku's child."

Flushed, he realized that he had become fascinated by the genjutsu. Breaking it revealed the woman, slowly combing her silky hair. Smiling languidly at him as she stood, the woman tossed a simple scroll to him. It bore no markings except for the character 'Root'. Sasuke raised an eyebrow in question.

"And what do you exp-"

"I tire of your questions." said the woman icily, cutting him off. "Time and again, we have proved ourselves and it is time you paid in kind. You now know the truth about the Uchiha Massacre. Act on it. Unless you prove to us that you are not a pawn of the Council, there is nothing more to discuss."

With that, the woman vanished in a swirl of leafs.

.

.

.

* * *

**The** **Hunt: **A yearly exercise designed to test the knowledge, tactics, teamwork and survival skill of Academy students. Recent reforms have led to participating students being divided into groups of boys and girls which compete separately. One particular concern however, is the fact that simply acquiring Tags now counts towards winning. In the past, participants had to have both a the Tag and corresponding body to increase their Kill Count. As the saying goes, 'If there is no body, then the target is not dead'.

**Language: **While nearly everyone speaks a common tongue, there are many local dialects unique to different parts of the world. Even the manner in which people speak can make a conversation incomprehensible to someone who was not raised in that part of the world.

* * *

**AN**: Finally! Now that the prep stuff is out of the way, its time to kick ass! xDD

The next chapter should conclude Arc One. Now, this is the first time I've actually written a drawn out fight scene. Hope I did not make things too confusing. If you notice any mistakes or something I can improve on, please point it out. o.o

Finally, Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas everyone! :D

I would like to thank ChaosTheVoid, bakapervert, Viktorius, Loiosh311, slatedfox, axellover-burn-baby, Nalya, Jetsmillion, ijpowers92, senpen banka, roboguy45, Orchamus, TheGreatBubbaJ, RedHound, saiyan prince1, Shinsou Tengen Wabisuke, Epicweaver, Hiei-Uchiha, erching, Vaughn Tyler, UNSecur, thatdenosguy and Shadow of the Dead Reaper for your reviews!

Thanks for the support everyone.


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